


As You Wish

by Ultra



Category: Gilmore Girls
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Arguing, Awkward Conversations, Books, Boston (City) - Freeform, California, Crying, Dancing, Driving, F/M, Family Dynamics, Family Issues, First Time, Friendship, Georgia, Getting Back Together, Happy Ending, Hotels, Illinois, Libraries, Literature, Los Angeles, Love, Making Love, Making Up, Mississippi, Mother-Daughter Relationship, Oklahoma, Philadelphia, Phone Calls & Telephones, Post-Season/Series 04, Relationship(s), Returning Home, Reunions, Reunited and It Feels So Good, Road Trips, Sex, Summer, Teen Romance, Texas, Travel, Uncle-Nephew Relationship, Understanding, Virginia, Work, Young Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-09-30
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 22
Words: 52,733
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23247742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ultra/pseuds/Ultra
Summary: What if Rory called the diner when she got stuck in the bar with a bunch of drunks? What if Jess was there to answer that call? Then, at Yale, when Jess asked Rory to go away with him, what if everything changed?
Relationships: Rory Gilmore/Jess Mariano
Comments: 62
Kudos: 181





	1. Chapter 1

Rory needed a ride home and she just didn’t know who to call. Usually her mom would be first choice, but Lorelai was at Liz’s wedding, with Luke, who would’ve been Rory’s second choice. All Rory’s friends from Yale were gone for the Summer, even Paris was away. Lane didn’t drive, so she was out of the running too. Scrolling through the numbers on her phone, Rory let her finger hover over the call button when she got to ‘Forester, Dean.’

“No.” She shook her head as she continued searching.

Dean was her ex and a married man. She only wanted him because she couldn’t have him, and because everybody around her kept reminding her she was single. Rory knew all this because she had done nothing but think about it since she sat down here at this table with a beer she was never going to drink, while Graham and his friends all got completely rat-faced at the bar. She thought about what Paris said, and then her grandmother, the both of them trying to set Rory up with the nearest single guy. It wasn’t what she wanted. Dean wasn’t what she wanted either, not anymore. If she were completely honest with herself, Rory knew who and what it was she did want, but that was just stupid.

The list of contact numbers in Rory’s phone started again from ‘A’ and she heaved out a sigh. There had to be somebody she could call to rescue her. This time when she got as far as ‘Diner, Luke’s’ she paused. He wouldn’t be there, she knew that, but there was a chance somebody else was. Without letting herself think about it too much, Rory hit the call button and put the phone to her ear.

“I have got to be crazy,” she muttered as the line rang once, twice, before finally someone picked up.

“Hello?”

“Hi, Jess. It’s me. Uh, it’s Rory,” she floundered, knowing she sounded dumb but unable to help it apparently.

“Rory, hey,” he replied. “Um, Luke’s not here.”

“I know. I... Well, this is going to sound really weird and also highly outrageous given the last time we saw each other and how that went down, and I’m well aware that this is probably the most awkward thing ever but... but I need a favour.”

Rory had no idea that as she explained herself at top speed, the way she so often did, she had brought a smile to Jess’ lips. Maybe it was just hearing her voice that made him want to grin, or perhaps it was the pleasing familiarity of her famous rambling that was giving him flashbacks to happier times. Either way, it was making him smile.

“A favour?” he echoed, realising he hadn’t answered yet. “Name it.”

“I’m at this bar in New Haven. I was with some friends... acquaintances, whatever,” she corrected herself. “Anyway they left me here and I thought I had money for a cab but I don’t and the ATM is two blocks away in the scuzzy part of town...”

“I’m on my way,” said Jess, without pause. “You got an address or at least the name of this charming establishment?”

Rory gave him the bar’s name with a smile he could almost hear. “Thank you, Jess,” she told him. “I really appreciate this.”

“I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

* * *

True to his word, Jess arrived at the bar in record time, searching out Rory the moment he came in the door. Since she had been sitting there watching and waiting the whole time, she saw him enter the place and immediately raised her hand. He smiled when he saw her, that old familiar smile that still made something inside of Rory flip over in the best way. He certainly hadn’t gotten any less good looking, as if she ever really expected that to happen.

“Hey,” he said as he approached her table.

“Hey,” she replied in kind, unsure where to go from there. 

It had been mostly okay on the phone, but now, face-to-face, it just felt unbelievably awkward seeing Jess again. It ought to have been some comfort that he looked as thrown by the situation as Rory felt herself, not knowing how this greeting was supposed to go, but it wasn’t. A hug would be way too much, a handshake just silly in the circumstances. In the end, they just went for a breif smile and then Rory gestured for Jess to sit down in the empty seat beside her. It was a relief when he did and without comment.

“I feel so stupid,” Rory said, pushing her hair back off her face, “especially for calling you of all people.”

“Rory, I don’t want you to feel stupid,” Jess told her kindly. “You’re not. If any one out of the two of us is stupid, I’m pretty sure it’s me.”

That remark surprised her and she was pretty sure it showed on her face. “You’re stupid? For coming to get me?”

“No, not for that,” he said, shaking his head. “For just about everything else, but not that,” he confirmed, eyes very much on the table where his hands were tossing his car keys around just for something to do.

“Oh,” said Rory, unsure what to follow up with.

If Jess was apologising for anything and everything that had gone wrong in their relationship, well, she couldn’t exactly say he didn’t at least owe her that much. Of course, she had her share of things to feel bad for too. The problem was this was such a long overdue conversation, and added to it was the strange memory of Jess telling her he loved her, only to get in his car and drive off into the distance, never to be seen again, at least until tonight.

Rory looked up from her untouched beer and glanced sideways at Jess, only to catch him doing the self same thing. It was too funny not to laugh.

“You remember when we could just talk for hours and hours and not even notice we were doing it?” she said in the less uncomfortable silence that followed. “I miss that.”

“Me too.” Jess nodded. “So, uh, how was the first year at Yale?”

“It was good,” Rory assured him, feeling the knot in her stomach start to unwind a little as they talked of normal things a while. “Hasn’t ended so well, but yeah, good for the most part. How’re you?”

“I’m good.”

“That’s good... or possibly some other adjective we haven’t already used a hundred and seven times,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Jess smiled but made no further comment. His eyes moved around the bar and restaurant and then landed back on Rory.

“Can I ask how you ended up here? This doesn’t really seem like a Rory place.”

“It’s really not.” She sighed. “My grandma, she tried to set me up with this guy, Graham. She’s known him since he was in diapers or something, and he was coming out with his friends and invited me along. I thought it’d be fine, but then they were drinking, a lot, and planning to drive, and I’m sitting here starving and wanting to go home, but I have no money, so...”

“I have money,” Jess told her easily, “and I could eat so, you want to order something?”

Rory meant to say no. This night was beyond weird so far and she probably shouldn’t even have called Jess for help like she did. Still, he had said he would come for her and followed through on that promise. They were getting along and he was offering her food when she was hungry, which was always a fast-track way to a Gilmore girl’s heart, as they both knew only too well.

“Um, well, if you’re sure,” she said, shifting in her seat and signalling for the waitress. “Excuse me, we’d like to order?”

She came over immediately, before Rory and Jess had even got their menus open.

“Will this be on your tab?” she asked, pencil poised over her pad.

“Tab?” Rory checked.

“The credit card behind the bar,” said the waitress, gesturing that way, “it’s still open.”

Jess frowned a little but Rory was smiling widely as she realised exactly what this meant. Graham was a fool, but he got what he deserved after the way he treated her tonight.

“Put your money away, Jess,” she said, referring to the menu a moment more. “Okay, we’ll start with the appetiser platter...”

* * *

Jess was supposed to have all his attention on the road. He was trying hard to keep it there, but Rory was always a distraction to him, from the very first day they met. Of course, right now, she was getting more of his attention than ever before, because frankly, he was having trouble figuring her out.

“What?” she asked, drawing his attention to the fact he really must’ve been staring.

“I’m just marvelling at Rory the rebel,” he admitted, smirking hard. “We must’ve put a hundred bucks on that guys card.”

“Well, he deserves it,” she said definitely, even as she laughed.

“Agreed.” Jess nodded. “Who leaves a woman alone in a bar like that with no way to get home? Very uncool.”

“Agreed,” she replied in kind before a sigh escaped her lips. “Thank you for this, Jess. You know I really appreciate it.”

“You said that already,” he told her, eyes very much on the road now.

If she was going to be nice, he really did have to concnetrate, or there was going to be trouble, and not just of the crashing the car variety.

“Well, I said it because I meant it,” Rory insisted, turning a little in her seat to face him. “I know things with us got a little weird...”

“Mostly my fault,” Jess muttered, forced to look in her general direction as he checked for traffic at the intersection and then headed onto Yale.

“No, it’s not,” she admitted, almost as softly, eyes on her lap where her fingers laced and unlaced for no real reason. “I mean, yes, the random confession of feelings before driving off into the sunset, that was all you, but before, when you left...”

Jess sighed. “Rory, let’s not do this now,” he urged her, knowing there would be no good time for this convertsaion, but still not wanting it now, not when they had been getting along so well.

“Jess, it has to be now,” she told him frustratedly, “or soon you’ll be gone, again, and we won’t get the chance.”

He couldn’t deny she had a point. If she hadn’t called when she had, he probably would’ve been gone by now, he was packing to leave when the phone rang. It wasn’t his smartest choice, he knew that, because Rory was right, they really should talk this thing out. Not that Jess had a clue where to begin. He never had with her. He was certainly glad he didn’t have to be facing Rory when she said whatever she was going to say to him.

Jess knew he had plenty to feel bad about when it came to the demise of his relationship with Rory. He didn’t handle any of it well and though there were parts of it where she probably could’ve behaved better too, he was all too clear on the fact that, percentage wise, he came out higher on the blame scale.

“Jess, I... I blamed you, a lot, for what happened with us. For not talking to me, for leaving without saying goodbye for the second time,” Rory admitted then. “It hurt me, _you_ hurt me, but then I got to thinking about how things had been before you left, and I realised that... well, it wasn’t all you,” she said, shaking her head. “Sometimes, I was pushy, and I was judgemental, ungrateful even. What I’m trying to say is, as much as you didn’t necessarily always treat me like you should have, I wasn’t always the best girlfriend either. I should’ve been better, and... and I’m sorry, Jess.”

Rory wasn’t sure what to think when he didn’t answer her. She glanced up from her own lap to find him concnetrating very hard on the view from the windshield. At first she thought he just needed a minute to park the car before he faced her and said whatever he needed to say, but two or three full minutes passed after he pulled on the parking brake and killed the engine, and still nothing. He didn’t even look at her.

“You don’t accept my apology?” she asked softly.

Jess sighed. “If it’ll make you feel better, Rory, then yes, I accept it,” he said, glancing her way at last, “but don’t think for a second that I ever blamed you for what happened with us. Sure, you said some things I could’ve lived without, but I’m pretty sure I deserved a lot of them,” he said definitely. “I wasn’t the boyfriend I should’ve been, not by a long way, and that’s why _I_ ’m the one that should be sorry. I _am_ sorry, Rory, for everything I did to hurt you,” he promised her faithfully. “You believe that?”

“I do,” she said, nodding her head, “and I accept your apology also.”

“Huh,” said Jess, the serious moment fading back to normal as the usual smirk reappeared on his lips. “Well, what do you know, this communciation thing actually works.”

Rory giggled “Maybe we should’ve tried it sooner.”

“Yeah, maybe,” Jess agreed, meeting her eyes. Something seemed to crackle in the air between them, just for a second, and then he looked away. “So, your car is here?”

“Oh, yes, it is.” Rory physically shook herself. “I just need to load all my stuff into it. It’s all in boxes in the dorm,” she explained.

“I can help with that.”

“Oh, you don’t have to,” she insisted.

“I want to,” Jess told her just as deifnitely.

They got out of the car then and Rory led the way towards her building. As they trailed through the campus, she pointed out all her favourite spots to Jess, told him about her classes, her professors, what living with Paris had been like. They talked and laughed and enjoyed each other’s company, just as they had in the bar, and yet, something was different now. Rory felt it and was sure that Jess must be getting the same vibe. Their confessional in the car had made a difference, being alone in the dark made a difference too. They had never both been in the same place at the same time before, not until now.

“So, this is my room,” she said as they reached the door.

“I figured.” Jess nodded, waiting for her to unlock and let them inside.

There was a time when he had pictured himself here. Not at Yale as a student or anything, Jess wasn’t crazy, but he had imagined himself coming by to see Rory when she started attending, back when he thought there was a slim chance they could make it work long term. Things had really got so screwed up back then, but now here they were, him and Rory, together again.

When she turned around, he thought maybe she was going to say something, but the words went away when she found herself so close to him. Jess hadn’t expected her to turn and hadn’t especially been looking where he was going. Rory exhaled and he felt her breath in his face. The times they had been here before, exactly like this, it was the most natural thing in the world to reach out, to touch, to kiss.

Actions were known to speak louder than words and Jess was never all that good with the verbal thing anyway, not with her, not when it mattered. His hand slipped behind her head and drew her in, his lips finding hers. He kissed her once then intended to pull away. It was Rory’s hand grabbing a hold of his jacket that kept him close, her that kept the moment going, deepened the kiss and let it almost get out of hand before she finally stepped back, gasping.

“Oh my God!” she said, one hand going to her bruised lips. “Jess, what are we doing?” she asked him then, turning away.

“Pretty sure it was the thing we were always best at,” he told her, trying to catch his breath.

Rory understood that feeling. She was a little short on oxygen herself, but she hadn’t been hating it when he was depriving her of air. In fact, it was the best she had felt in a long time. This whole night, it had really turned around when Jess showed up. She was having the best time and Rory just didn’t want it to end. When he kissed her, she couldn’t help but kiss him back, but it was a bad idea... wasn’t it?

“This is crazy!” she said outloud. “I can’t just... We can’t. We’re over,” she said insistently, unsure whether she was telling Jess or herself right now. “You left and... and what does any of this mean?” she asked him desperately.

“Pretty sure it means we still have feelings for each other, Rory,” he said, reaching for her, but she backed up another step.

“No,” she said shaking her head, “or yes, I guess, maybe,” she realised, more sure now than ever that all those times she told herself she was over Jess she had been lying. “Jess, this is... I never expected this to happen,” she told him, tears in her eyes that she couldn’t control.

“Me either, but I’m not sorry,” he admitted, moving closer again, glad when she didn’t back off this time. “Rory, please...” he said, his hand at her face, thumb wiping a stray tear away.

“Please, what?” she asked, meeting his eyes.

“Please, just... just come with me.”

Her eyes widened at the request. Honestly, Jess surprised himself a little bit. He had not come here intending to ask Rory to run away with him, but after everything that had happened so far, he couldn’t help it. It was what he wanted, so much.

“Come with you?” she echoed, looking confused but not saying no yet. “Where?”

“Anywhere,” said Jess, smiling widely. “Let’s just put your stuff in my car and drive. We can go anywhere you want, do anything you want. We can be together.”

“Jess that’s... We can’t,” Rory insisted.

“You know it’s what you want,” he told her, arms going around her, keeping her with him for as long as he could, so afraid she was about to bolt. “It’s what I want too. I know you couldn’t depend on me before, but you can now. I swear, you can.”

He meant it. She looked into his eyes and Rory believed every word he said. They had problems because Jess was hiding things from her before, but he was never really a liar. If he said he loved her then he did. If he said she could trust him then she knew that she could. Still, what he was suggesting, it was still kind of crazy. Strange then that she was giving his offer some serious consideration.

“This is insane,” she told him, laughing a little. “Jess, we can’t just leave.”

“Yes, we can,” he told her with certainty. “Your stuff is all in boxes, it’s perfect. We can just go wherever we want and be together. C’mon, Rory, you can’t tell me you don’t want us to be together. I know you do.”

“I... I don’t know,” she said, looking down at those boxes he was talking about, knowing he had a point and feeling oh so tempted. “I mean, what if we did go? I couldn’t leave forever. My family is here, my friends, and Yale. I have to be here for school in September-”

“If it gets to September and you wanna be back here, I will bring you back personally, I promise,” Jess insisted, his hand at her face making her look at him. “But please, Rory, give us this chance. If there’s a chance we can figure this out, it has to be away from here, away from Stars Hollow. You know I’m right. Don’t think about it, just say yes. Come with me, please?”

Rory was so overwhelmed by the idea and the look in his eyes and all the feelings swirling inside of her. She closed her eyes a moment and took a deep breath... and then slowly nodded her head. “Yes.”

“Yes?” Jess echoed, almost afraid he had imagined her answer.

“Yes,” she repeated. “I’ll go with you.”

No sooner had she said the words than Jess pulled her closer, kissing her firmly on the lips.

In the minutes that followed, they put everything Rory might need in the back of Jess’ car and locked the rest of her belongings safely in the back of her own vehicle. She could get her mom to come pick that up later, when she actually got around to explaining what she was doing. Right now, Rory couldn’t think about that. She didn’t want to think at all, she just wanted to go.

“You okay?” Jess checked as they finally got into the car again.

“I am,” Rory promised, smiling as she leaned over the gear shift to kiss him one more time. “Let’s get out of here.”

Smiling back at her, he put the car in gear. “As you wish.”


	2. Chapter 2

It was dark out long before they left New Haven but Rory couldn’t even think about being tired. As Jess’ car flew down the highway, she was oblivious to time or place, she only knew the strange mix of feelings inside her, of freedom and anticipation and overwhelming happiness. She wasn’t sure she had ever truly appreciated the full meaning of ‘so wrong, it’s right’ before, but that was what she thought this adventure with Jess just might be.

Maybe this wasn’t the smartest thing to do, running off into the night with a guy that had already broken her heart once, but she so wanted to do it. Rory wanted this second chance with Jess so much that it hurt. She just knew that even if they didn’t work out, she couldn’t regret at least trying, letting them have this opportunity, away from all the outside factors that had encroached on their relationship before.

“You doing okay?” Jess asked, glancing across at her.

“Sure, I’m good,” she promised, smiling at him. “I was just... thinking.”

“That’s what bothers me,” he muttered, eyes firmly back on the road.

Rory frowned a little and shifted more sideways in her seat to properly look at him.

“Okay, that requires an explanation,” she said definitely. “Of all the guys I have met in my life, you are not one of those that ever disliked a woman for using her brain.”

Jess sighed heavily. “It’s _what_ you’re probably thinking that makes me nervous,” he told her. “The fact you ever agreed to come with me like this is kind of amazing. I guess I’m just waiting for you to realise that you made a big mistake and... well, if you wanna go back-”

“I don’t,” Rory told him firmly. “Jess, if I didn’t want to do this, I would’ve said no. I know it’s been a while and a lot can happen in a year, but I didn’t suddenly become this idiot that just agrees to anything a guy suggests. You know that’s not me.”

Jess nodded because he absolutely did know that. Though Rory was one of those people who typically wanted to do anything at all to make other people happy, she wasn’t dumb, she wouldn’t compromise on what she thought was right for her just to please someone else. It wasn’t just with him either. He knew she was capable of standing up to her grandparents, her friends, even her mom when she had to. If Rory didn’t want to be in his car right now, Jess knew she wouldn’t be there.

“I guess I’m a little bowled over that... that I got this lucky,” he admitted then. “I mean, you can take as much responsibility as you want for the downfall of us, but we both know I screwed up a lot more than you ever did.”

“Let’s not keep score, Jess.” Rory sighed. “It doesn’t help. Trust me, take it from a person who has gone over and over _and over_ every part of our time together. We can make it your fault or my fault, we can shift some of the blame onto Dean or my mom or Luke or whoever you want, but what good does it do any of us? We broke up, it happened. Maybe it’s time we just put all of that to one side and started over. I mean, isn’t that the whole point of this trip anyway?”

She watched him as he drove on a little further, seeming to contemplate all she had said very seriously. He was a real thinker, Rory knew, and a brooder given half the chance, but he was smart enough to know when he was beat too. She was right in what she said, Rory just knew she was, and would like to think that Jess was on the same page with her. This was never going to work if he wasn’t.

“You make me wish I wasn’t driving this car right now,” he said suddenly.

Rory frowned, unsure exactly what he meant by that. He regretted bringing her along on this trip already? She couldn’t think why, then she saw the look in his eyes as he glanced her way and all those worries evaporated, a blush rising in her cheeks instead.

“Oh. Right,” she said, shifting awkwardly back to completely forwards in her seat. “Well, we should be looking for somewhere to sleep tonight anyway, right?” she said, replaying those words in her head a moment later and reconsidering them. “Not that I... Um, I’m not sure how you saw this going exactly, especially after what happened back at Yale, but I didn’t exactly-”

“Rory,” Jess cut in fast. “Whatever place we find, we’ll get _two_ rooms,” he assured her. “Or at least two beds, it depends on the prices and availability, but I wasn’t... I never expected that.”

Rory sighed with something like relief, though there was a strange pang of disappointment too. She certainly was not ready to be jumping into bed with Jess right now, though there was a part of her that wanted to, that almost thought she wouldn’t mind at all. When he kissed her, well, it had been too long, both in general, and specifically with Jess. They had been so close to that point when he left last year. He probably didn’t realise quite how close, because she never really told him. Thinking about it now made Rory heat up in more places than her cheeks and she forced herself to think about anything else.

“Is the radio broken?” she asked, shaking her head to clear out a fog she wished she hadn’t stumbled into.

“It works,” Jess assured her. “Put it on, if you want.”

Rory leaned down to do just that, moving the dial around until she found something she liked. She knew enough of Jess’ taste in music to think he wouldn’t object to a little Bowie, that soon gave way to Foreigner, then Billy Idol, as they headed onto wherever they were going to end up tonight.

Unfortunately, when the next song started, and Roy Orbison warbled about how he ‘Drove All Night’, it all hit a little too close to home. Rory’s mind went down that dangerous path again at the sound of lyrics that talked of driving all night to reach home and make love to someone. It must’ve been affecting Jess the same way as they both reached for the radio at the same time, hands touching and making them both pull back sharply, as if burned.

Jess put his hand back on the wheel, cleared his throat, and concentrated on the road. He meant what he said to Rory about not expecting too much tonight. Honestly, he was amazed that when he kissed her, she actually responded with something other than a slap to his face.

When he asked her to come away with him and she agreed, he had been thrilled, if not shocked, but he certainly hadn’t gotten his hopes up so far as to think sex was on the cards. Of course, she had to bring it up, and then damn Orbison had to start crooning about it on the radio. Jess never had liked that guy anyway.

Thankfully, the song soon ended and the car echoed to the strains of Boston’s ‘More Than A Feeling’ which was marginally better. Jess saw the sign for a motel up ahead and was glad to get to it. Not that he saw a night in an adjoining room from Rory, or even in the same one, would be any easier to deal with. He really hadn’t thought this through.

“I know this is kind of a dive place,” he said, pulling the car into the parking lot, “but if you want-”

“You know, I’m starting to think you don’t want me here,” Rory told him sharply, getting Jess’ full attention in an instant. “Jess, you asked me to come with you, you were really very insistent about it, so I say yes, and ever since we left New Haven you just seem to be coming up with reasons why I should go home. Did you change your mind that fast?”

“Are you serious?” he asked, eyes widening as he stared at her.

“Right now? Yes, I’m serious,” said Rory definitely.

Jess just stared at her for a second, then unclipped his seatbelt and shifted across the space between them, pulling her close and kissing her soundly. Before she even managed to prise her eyes open again, he spoke softly to her.

“I have _never_ changed my mind about you, Rory,” he promised her. “I just... I guess I’m realising how un-Rory this trip is probably going to be. I don’t exactly have a lot of cash right now and...”

“And?” she prompted when he stopped talking. “Jess, did you think I was expecting five-star hotels and concierge service?” she asked him, mildly amused by the very idea. “We’re two nineteen-year olds running away together in a car that was probably built before either of us was born,” she reminded him. “I wasn’t exactly expecting The Ritz Carlton.”

Jess smirked at that, it was tough not to. “I still think you’re crazy for agreeing to do this. Everybody says how smart Rory Gilmore is, but the truth is, you’re cracked,” he told her fondly.

“Yeah, well, choosing the smart option every time is so over-rated,” she said, leaning over the gearshift to kiss his lips. “I want to do this, Jess. I want to go somewhere and do something and I want to do all that with you. Maybe it is crazy, maybe we’re both having some kind of joint breakdown right now, but honestly? I don’t care. Do you?”

When she was looking at him like that, the perfect combination of serious and crazy as she smiled in the half-light of the motel’s neon sign and the moon beyond, Jess knew more than ever that Rory was all he ever really wanted.

“No, I don’t care,” he confirmed, reaching out to tuck her hair behind her ear. “Come on, we should probably get a couple of rooms before all the crack heads and prostitutes take them.”

“Meh, they never stay all night anyway,” said Rory easily as they both moved to get out of the car.

Jess went around to the trunk and peered into it. Between most of his worldly possessions, none of which he had been willing to leave in the crappy New York apartment he used to call home, and Rory’s stuff too, there was a lot. He wasn’t entirely certain that any of it should be left in the car overnight, not in a place like this.

“It all has to come in with us, right?” said Rory as she appeared beside him.

“I don’t know.” Jess sighed. “Pretty sure even the people in this place aren’t desperate enough to try to steal _this_ car.”

“You said it, not me.” Rory chuckled. “When we know what rooms we have, you can move it to a space close to the window. One of us is going to wake up if anything happens, right?”

“Sounds like a plan,” Jess agreed, pulling out just his overnight bag as Rory did the same, then slamming the trunk closed. “I’m starting to wonder if you did this before.”

“I’m no stranger to dive motels and questionable neighbours,” Rory reminded him. “Backpacking trip across Europe the summer after high school, remember?” she said pointedly, wincing when she saw the look on Jess’ face.

“Yeah, I heard something about that,” he said, leading the way into the motel.

“Jess, I wasn’t...” she called after him, but he moved too fast.

By the time she caught up to him, he was at the desk, asking for two rooms, preferably next to each other. Rory didn’t hear exactly what the response was but the way Jess coughed and asked how much for a double room instead proved the price on two rooms was prohibitive. The double seemed much more acceptable and the strange looking man at the desk was soon handing Jess a key in exchange for the right number of bills.

“One room, two beds,” Jess said as he turned to face her. “You said that was cool, right?”

“Sure, it’s cool,” Rory agreed, following him again as they headed for the room in question. “But are _we_ cool?” she asked his back as they went.

“Why wouldn’t we be?” he asked, without glancing back, locating their room quickly and unlocking the door, before ushering Rory inside.

She went in, trying not to wrinkle her nose at the state of the place, and Jess followed her inside, dumping his bag on the far bed. He was crossing back to the door within a second and Rory had to put herself between him and it, her hand on his chest, to stop him escaping again.

“What?” he asked. “I need to move the car closer, like we said.”

“First, tell me the truth, Jess. Are we okay?” she pressed him. “You know when I mentioned that summer, I wasn’t...”

“I know,” Jess promised her, meeting her eyes. “I know we agreed we were both to blame for the break up and everything, but leaving the way I did... God, I couldn’t have been a bigger coward, could I?”

“Jess, please,” Rory urged him. “It wasn’t all your fault, and even if it had been, you said you’re sorry and I believe you. If we’re going to start over, if this is going to work on any level, you can’t just... we can’t let all this tension happen every time one us mentions last year. So, from now on, we’re cool with it, okay? Both of us. No weird vibes.”

“Vibes?” Jess echoed, smirking a little. “That’s cool with me, man,” he teased her.

“Ah, but is it ‘Frank at the Sands’ cool?” she teased right back.

Jess tried his best not to smile but failed, turning his face away even though it was clear Rory already saw him break.

“I need to move the car,” he reminded her then and she duly stepped aside, her hand slipping away from his chest.

He took one step forward to go around her then changed his mind, moving back and pulling her closer, kissing her softly on the lips.

His eyes met hers and the most delicious shiver ran through Rory, then suddenly he was gone. Letting out a breath she hardly knew she was holding, Rory turned to survey the room again. Two beds, that was fine, but it was still the same room, the one where both she and Jess would be sleeping tonight.

“Well, this is going to be interesting.”


	3. Chapter 3

It was two in the morning and Jess hadn’t slept yet. He had thought it would be tough to fall asleep, knowing that Rory was in the next bed all of ten feet away, but he had also assumed that, eventually, he would just be so tired that it would happen. How wrong could a person be?

Not that he regretted any of this. He probably should, but he didn’t. Asking Rory to run away with him hadn’t been a serious plan. It was probably the most spontaneous, potentially stupid thing he ever did in his life, but then she said yes like she meant it. If he wasn’t sure before, he knew now, after being told several times. As if Rory Gilmore would ever not know her own mind!

Jess sometimes wondered if he lost his own, probably the day he first met Rory actually. Glancing over at the other bed, he saw her back was facing him, No doubt she was sleeping peacefully, dreaming all those good girl dreams and everything, not at all freaked out by the fact there was a guy in the next bed. Jess didn’t know whether to feel good about that or kind of insulted actually.

“Are you going to keep doing that?”

Her voice startled him so much he physically jumped and had absolutely no idea what answer to give. If he said anything, it might’ve been a question, asking what she was talking about. As it turned out, Jess didn’t have to bother, because Rory was prepared to tell him anyway.

“The sighing,” she said, suddenly sitting up in her bed and reaching to flip on the light between them. “You keep doing it, which makes me think that you’re not happy, which the makes me worry that you’re regretting things.”

“Things?” he echoed, glancing her way.

“This, us, on a road trip to nowhere?” she said, smiling just slightly.

“You think I regret this?” Jess checked, shaking his head. “You’re cracked.”

Her smile grew. “It’s been said,” she agreed, before letting rip with a sigh of her own. “So, you can’t sleep but you don’t regret being here. What’s up, Jess?”

He knew he could just tell her. She would blush and be all Rory about it, but he could just say it, let her know she was keeping him awake just by being there. That his imagination was running a mile a minute over the possibilities that came with being alone in the dark with her like this. That his body was humming of its own accord because she was within ten feet of him and decidedly underdressed. He could tell her, but he wouldn’t.

“Maybe I’m not tired,” he said, shrugging his shoulders against the headboard.

Rory stared at him too long then copied the gesture. “Maybe I’m not either.”

Their eyes met across the space between their beds and then they both turned away, laughing at themselves, knowing how stupid they were both being right now. Not being tired so was not the problem. Maybe the real barrier to progress on the sleeping front was the lack of barrier to anything else.

“What have you been reading lately?” said Rory in the dim light.

“Not much, unfortunately.” Jess sighed, again. “Busy with work and not exactly much in the way of spare cash for books with New York rent to pay.”

Rory’s gasp caught him unawares. “I knew things would be rough for you in the city, but no books?”

Jess smirked. “Trust me, when it came to books or food, I was tempted to starve for the sake of an old favourite to keep me warm at night.”

“If I’d known you were in need, I could’ve sent you some of my doubles at least,” said Rory with a soft smile.

“I appreciate that.” Jess smiled back at her. “But you wouldn’t know where to send them.”

The smile started to fade from her lips as Jess felt his own go the same way. There it was, some of that serious stuff that he knew had to come up eventually.

The worst of it seemed to be over. Before they even made it to Yale, she had accepted his apology, and they made their agreement that they both screwed up in their own ways on the first go around.

On the car ride here, they firmly established that this second chance was what they both wanted and neither had any regrets so far. Still, there was a lot more to deal with yet, perhaps too much.

“Were you happy?” asked Rory, pulling Jess from his thoughts. “In New York?”

“Which time?” he countered, even though he was pretty sure he already knew, the look on Rory’s face confirming it when he looked. “Not really. I mean, it’s New York, so it’s home, as much as any place can be,” he said, shrugging his shoulders. “After things didn’t work out in California, it seemed like the logical place to go but...”

“But?” Rory prompted.

“I don’t know. I guess I’m just one of those people who didn’t find their place in the world yet.”

Jess glanced across at Rory and was sorry to see her looking sad. The last thing he wanted or needed was her pity. He also couldn’t stand it if she was going to give him some rousing speech about finding a home in Stars Hollow with her and Luke and all the crazy townsfolk. It was so much easier not to let her try.

“I guess I could’ve stayed in Venice longer, Jimmy would’ve been okay with it,” he said thoughtfully, hand running over his hair. “But the whole beach bum thing, it wasn’t really me.

Rory laughed. “Yeah, you’re not exactly the surfer dude type,” she admitted. “But you and your dad, you got along?”

“We got along.” Jess nodded in agreement. “I guess it’s kind of like you and your dad. It’s cool that he’s around and everything, but I don’t really need him, you know? It’s okay if he’s there and it’s okay if he’s not.”

“Can’t miss what you never had,” Rory said knowingly.

“Exactly.”

They smiled at each other a moment, the space between them seeming too little and too much all at the same time to Jess. What he wouldn’t give to have Rory in his arms, to be kissing her, and more. At the same time, all this serious talk, the way she was looking at him right now, all soft and perfect, it made him want to run far away and never look back. Close was good with Rory, in so many ways, but too close meant people getting hurt, people like him, and worse, people like her.

“How long were you there?” she asked then. “In California?”

“Couple of months,” Jess told her. “It was long enough. I got to know Jimmy as much as I needed to, plus Sasha and Lily. Uh, his girlfriend and her kid.”

“You have a sister?” Rory checked, eyes widening.

Jess smirked at the expression. “Lily is Sasha’s daughter, not Jimmy’s,” he confirmed, “but she was cool. She’s only nine, but she reads like we do already.”

“Wow.” Rory grinned. “You must’ve got along really well.”

“I guess.” Jess smiled in spite of himself. “I didn’t know I was good with kids.”

“I didn’t know you were good with people,” she said, a teasing edge to her tone.

“We always got along pretty well,” he countered.

Rory bit her lip and he honestly wasn’t sure whether she was trying not to laugh or trying not to say something regrettable. Could go either way with the two of them.

“What?”

“I have to tell you something,” she confessed eventually. “I, uh, when you were in the bathroom before, I sent my mom a text message.”

“Huh.”

Rory wasn’t sure what Jess was going to say to her confession. It wasn’t as if he and her mom ever got along. It was why she had told him the truth when she had, when she had just been saying how he wasn’t so good at communicating with people, except for herself, of course, and even, he hadn’t always been the best.

“Jess?” she prompted when he was quiet too long. “Say something.”

“Like what?” he asked, as if he didn’t know.

“I just told you I sent my mom a text message. You don’t want to ask what I told her or react in any way?”

Rory didn’t know what to make of the expression on his face, which was hard enough to see in the dim light and even more difficult when he turned away. She really didn’t want her mom, or anyone else actually, to spoil this trip, but there was no way she could just leave and not say anything at all to Lorelai.

“What do you want me to say, Rory?” asked Jess, looking at her again by now. “So, you told you mom about this trip and she said, what? You’re a crazy person? That she’s on her way to come talk some sense into you and probably knock me into next Thursday for even trying to get you back?”

“Jess,” she said in an admonishing tone, but it didn’t seem to change anything. “You know that’s not... Look, I know you and my mom never really got along-”

“Understatement of the century.”

“But things are a little different now,” Rory insisted, despite his comment. “When we were together before, we were just kids. I know it was only a couple of years ago, but we were, and now... like I said, it’s different. Mom knows I can make my own decisions.”

“Even if the decision you make is to run away with me?” asked Jess, one eyebrow raised.

“Even then,” said Rory definitely. “Although,” she continued, squirming just a little even as she tried desperately not to, “I didn’t exactly tell her where I was or who I was with when I sent the message.”

A single burst of humourless laughter escaped Jess’ lips and he ran a hand over his face, looking away again. Rory hated to know that her confession was hurting him, which made it curious that she ever made it in the first place. She didn’t have to, but they were being so honest with each other, they kind of had to be this time around if it was ever going to work out with them. Drawing on all the confidence she had gained by having to go it alone at Yale this past year, Rory threw back the covers and got out of bed. Jess didn’t seem to notice until she was perched next to him in her pyjamas.

“Rory...”

“Jess, listen to me, please,” she urged him, her hand on his arm. “I didn’t tell my mom about all this because... well, it’s complicated and it was late and all I really needed her to know for now was that I wasn’t coming home tonight, so that’s what I told her.”

His gaze shifted from her hand gripping his arm to her eyes for a moment and then back down.

“She didn’t ask where you were spending the night? I mean, she knows you had to get out of the dorm, right?”

“She does.” Rory nodded. “I said I was staying with a friend, which hey, is not exactly untrue,” she said with a smirk Jess would’ve been proud of himself, something he seemed willing to prove as he returned the look.

“Way to play an angle, Gilmore,” he told her teasingly.

“I learned from the best,” she countered, smiling widely a moment before sobering fast. “Please don’t be mad, Jess,” she urged him.

“Who said I was mad?” he said, shrugging easily, though she knew better than to believe that nonchalant crap after everything they’d been through before.

“Jess, come on. I know if this was the other way around, I wouldn’t exactly be happy in your position,” Rory admitted. “It’s just... it’s complicated. You and I both know that it is going to take some serious explanation for my mom to understand any of this. Honestly, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it. Aren’t you?”

“I guess,” Jess agreed. “Pretty crazy thing we’re doing here,” he said, hand covering hers where it lay on his arm still.

“Pretty crazy” Rory echoed, “but pretty great from where I’m sitting too.”

“You wanna keep sitting there, I’m not going to stop you.”

When she looked up and met his eyes then, Rory knew just exactly what he meant, as if there could be any doubt. Maybe she should have been worried, alone in a motel room with a guy who clearly ‘had designs on her’ as the old regency romances would say, but it was fine. She was with Jess and despite all that had gone before she did know she could trust him in this situation.

“I’m sorry,” he said, before she had a chance to answer his offer. “I didn’t mean-”

“Yes, actually, I think you did,” Rory told him, smiling yet. “And for what it’s worth, it’s not that I’m not... tempted,” she said, hoping the bad lighting at least hid her blush a little bit. “But despite all the crazy that’s happened already tonight, I’m not quite ready to be that crazy yet.”

To his credit, Jess didn’t push his luck anymore, didn’t even look all that terribly disappointed, though Rory would like to think he had to put real effort into that. Leaning forward, he brushed his lips very gently against her own, tucking her hair back behind her ear at the same time.

“Go on, beat it,” he told her with a soft smile. “At least one of us needs to get some sleep if we want to drive someplace nicer tomorrow.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Rory smiled back at him, before picking herself up off his bed and heading back to her own, flipping the light off on the way. “Goodnight, Jess,” she said, curling down comfortably underneath the worn motel room covers.

“Goodnight, Rory.”


	4. Chapter 4

It was a little later in the morning than Jess had envisaged when he and Rory finally left the crappy motel room that looked even scuzzier by the light of day. It was a pleasure to get out of there and he promised himself that, somehow, they were going to have better digs tonight, even if he wasn’t sure how they would pay for it yet.

To her credit, Rory didn’t seem phased by the poor conditions and though Jess kept on expecting it to happen, pretty much any second, she didn’t have any regrets either, not about him, not about the trip. In fact, as he was packing their things back into the car to go, she got in between him and the trunk, putting her arms up around his neck and kissing him soundly on the lips.

“Okay,” he said as they parted. “No complaints here, but that was because...?”

Rory shrugged. “Just because,” she told him easily. “I’m glad to be here. I’m glad to be with you, and I don’t know why, but I feel really good this morning, despite the crappy room we slept in last night.”

“We’ll find something better tonight,” Jess promised, tucking her hair back behind her ear. “You growing this out again?” he asked then.

“Probably.” Rory nodded. “Why, you didn’t like it short?”

Jess shook his head. “It looked good on you,” he assured her, “but I’ll admit, I liked it better how it was before.”

“Well, as it turns out, me too, actually,” she told him with a smile. “So, that works out pretty well.”

“I’d say so,” he replied, stealing one last kiss before he moved her out of the way and closed down the trunk for them to leave.

They never even talked about who was driving or exactly about where they were going. Jess got into the driver’s seat, Rory took the passenger side, and they headed out onto the highway. It was only when they had been driving for maybe ten minutes that he realised she might have a plan.

“A map,” he said, glancing her way. “Plotting a course, Chekov?”

“Something like that.” Rory nodded absently as she poured over the large map unfolded across her lap. “I picked it up in the motel when you started packing the car,” she explained. “I figured we should have some idea of at least where our first stop was going to be, right?”

“Sure.” Jess nodded once, eyes firmly on the road for now, though he couldn’t keep the smile from his lips and wondered how long it would take Rory to notice - apparently not long.

“What?” she asked. “Jess, what is going on?”

“Nothing,” he insisted, one hand coming off the steering wheel to wave away her curiosity. “I just... well, this whole thing is a little crazy, we agreed on that last night, and even though neither one of us regrets the decision, which is great, I figured, eventually... Look, it’s just cool to see a little of the old school Rory Gilmore, okay?”

He didn’t have a better way to explain it than that. Jess wasn’t at all sorry to have Rory pushing outside her usual comfort zone, but he also meant what he said about having her be her old self too, the one that would very much like to have a plan.

“I’m still me, Jess,” she said, staring hard at him, he could feel it. “I mean, sure, I’ve changed a little in the last year, I guess you have too, but I’m still the same girl that you... um, that you met a couple of years ago.”

Her focus went back to the map and Jess bit his lip. He really didn’t mean to make her uncomfortable. If anything, he intended to pay her a compliment, really. It was kind of crazy how they could be so comfortable with each other, to share a room, to be kissing in the parking lot like young lovers just a half hour before, and now they were so awkward. He wished things could be different, he wished a lot of things, but wishing never seemed to do Jess much good in the long run.

“Is there anywhere you wanna go?” asked Rory then, turning the map around in her hands. “I mean, we’re headed away from Stars Hollow, that was always the plan, and you said yourself you weren’t all that impressed with New York lately.”

“I don’t know,” he said, considering it carefully. “Honestly, I thought you were going to say we were headed in the wrong direction.”

“Why?” asked Rory curiously. “What’s the other way...? Oh,” she said as she opened another flap of the map and saw what he meant. “Boston?”

“It’s what I thought.” Jess shrugged.

It was strange that it had been one of his earliest ideas when it came to locations Rory might choose to go on a wacky road trip. Harvard had been her dream for so long, it was her college of choice and she was bound and determined to go there. It had been a surprise to Jess when she switched to Yale, but he hadn’t exactly argued with her about it. After all, if he stayed in the Hollow and she went to a school just a few miles away instead of two states over, who was he to complain?

“I went to Harvard once.” Rory sighed. “It was actually not long before I met you. After my mom broke up with Max, she just needed to get away, so we went on a road trip all the way to Harvard. It was fun, a little nutty, but... well, now that I think about it, I guess I have form for this kind of thing,” she said with a giggle as she went back to the map. “I don’t really need to see the university again, but we didn’t exactly see much of the city while we were there. Not even when we went back to visit for Sherry’s baby shower that one time. Have you ever been?” she asked Jess.

“Nope. All the moving me and Lizzy did back in the day was in and around New York, well, for the most part. We never did get out of state. So, if you want to go to Boston, that can be our first stop. You want to?” he asked, glancing at Rory as he already started to look for the next exit so he could turn the car around and head back the other way instead.

“You’re serious,” Rory seemed to realise, grinning all over her face. “Yes, I would love to go to Boston.”

“Okay then,” Jess nodded once, providence providing a good place for a turn and off they went.

Rory was strangely giddy at the prospect of a different kind of big city. Okay, it was only two hours away from home, but she still wanted to see it. There was plenty of time for further away places later. She had been to New York before and did know she wasn’t overly eager to go again, especially when she knew Jess wasn’t keen. Besides, it was the first place people might look for them and that rebellious part of Rory, that Jess seemed to so admire, didn’t want to be chased and caught just yet. Yes, she was going to have to call her mom later in the day and tell her something, but whatever happened, she wasn’t going home, not yet. She wanted this freedom, this chance to be more than a little crazy, after a long hard year of Yale and that terrible dating dry spell that nobody seemed to want her to forget.

“I wish Paris knew what I was doing,” she said aloud without really thinking too much about it.

“Paris?” Jess checked. “Why? I’m pretty sure she’d just give you a lecture on the immoral behaviour you’re exhibiting.”

“Wow, you have missed a lot.” Rory laughed. “You wanna know where Paris is right now? She is on her way to England with her boyfriend, Asher Fleming, who by the way is a professor at Yale, an author, and currently aged 62.”

“What?”

The way Jess reacted, Rory was worried for a moment he was going to crash the car. It was only thanks to his excellent driving skills that he kept on the road at all. Straightening up the vehicle, he gave the road his full attention, though he was blinking as if his vision was refusing to clear no matter what.

“Paris... and an old professor,” he said, shaking his head yet. “That is not what I was expecting. What happened to the Princeton guy?”

“Ah, poor Jamie.” Rory sighed. “He was the nicest guy. It’s actually a shame that Paris got bored with him. I’ll be honest, I’m not 100% sure what happened there. Paris never really wanted to talk about it, except to say she needed to cut him loose. My theory is he got too serious for her. Paris saw her future laid out before her and a clingy boyfriend who wanted to marry her or something just wasn’t in the plan.”

“But a guy who is old enough to be her grandfather was?” Jess frowned.

“‘Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter,’” Rory quoted smartly, “but seriously, I admit, it is a little weird,” she added with a smile.

“So weird,” Jess agreed. “And people used to think we were an unlikely couple.”

“No, they didn’t. Did they?”

Rory became unsure as she started to think about it seriously. She was well-aware that not everybody approved of her dating ‘the bad boy’ but she never considered that she and Jess weren’t well suited to each other. Sure, there were some differences in the way they behaved and everything, him with his pranks and smoking and all, her with her prep school and good girl tendencies, but they had plenty in common too.

Aside from a huge pile of books, movies, and music that they both adored, they had both been born to young mothers, raised without fathers, didn’t exactly have a lot of money for the most part, and more than that, they just seemed to get each other. Rory wished she had words to describe that properly, but she never did find them. She and Jess were just her and Jess and that was that.

When Rory grew quiet, she clearly didn’t realise how much that worried the guy in the next seat. Jess had to keep most of his concentration on driving, but truthfully, he was glancing Rory’s way a lot. He was certainly listening as she waxed lyrical about their route to Boston, Paris’ love life, and all. Then, right after he suggested they were an unlikely couple, a fact she quickly denied, she grew silent and started wearing an almost tense expression.

“Uh, you wanna see what you can find on the radio?” he asked her then, anything to change the subject and shift the mood. “Or there are some CDs somewhere...”

“You know I don’t think that, right?” she said then, making him blink at her. “I mean, about us being an unlikely couple. I don’t know how anyone could say that or even think it. We have so much in common.”

Jess smiled at that, it was impossible not to. “I know,” he assured her, “and I don’t think that either, I just meant... well, people, like the crazies in Stars Hollow, your mom, your grandparents, they didn’t exactly love the idea of me and you dating.”

“That’s just because they were worried about me,” Rory reminded him. “Not that they had any reason to be but, you know, you didn’t exactly endear yourself to people when you came to live in our leafy little hamlet,” she said, shoving his shoulder playfully as she leaned towards the radio and tried to find a decent station.

“Yeah, well.” Jess smirked, only glad to have the tension gone. “Going to some new place, getting away from my mom and a bad situation, that would’ve been fine if _I_ made the choice. Being uprooted just because somebody else said so?” Jess shook his head. “Nobody is going to appreciate that.”

“Granted.” Rory nodded once, smiling as Elastica blared from the speakers. “Still, you have to admit, there were some upsides to moving to Stars Hollow,” she said, smirking the way he did sometimes, Jess could hear it before he ever saw the expression at a glance.

“I said it before, I’ll say it again, you Gilmores think a lot of yourselves,” he said, smirking right back at her. “Of course, some of you have a right to.”

Rory blushed at his compliments just the same as she had always done, which was a comfort to Jess. It was a little strange, getting to know her all over again, to find that she had changed in any number of small ways since they parted company more than a year before. She talked about Paris being different, but she was too. Jess figured some of it was growing up, going to Yale, getting a little more independence from Lorelai and the crackpot town she called home. The newfound confidence looked good on her, that was for sure.

“So, Boston,” he said then, just as the music faded out and came back in loud with Joey Ramone begging to be sedated. “You sure that’s where you wanna go?”

“I’m sure,” said Rory, happily seat-dancing along to the song. “Aren’t you?”

Jess looked over at her then, blue eyes shining, head bopping, as ridiculous and beautiful as he had ever seen her. Wherever she wanted to go, he was going too, no questions asked and consequences be damned.

“I’m sure.”


	5. Chapter 5

“We didn’t think this through enough,” Rory had said worriedly when Jess was driving along the I90 towards Boston. “Where are we going to park? It’s probably going to be expensive in some inner-city lot and all of our stuff is in the car. We really did not think about this,” she complained, one hand going to her forehead.

Jess was almost expecting ‘Alas, alack,’ to come out of her mouth next, apart from the fact Rory was a little more contemporary than that.

“We’ll find a place,” he had assured her immediately. “If New York is anything to go by, we park outside of the city proper - it’ll be cheaper and if we find one of those multi-storey lots they usually have security cameras and guards and everything, so our stuff will be safe enough - then we catch a bus towards whatever it is you wanna see.”

That had got a real smile out of Rory. “You’re very good at this stuff.”

Jess almost told her he was good at a lot of things, but somehow, anything that could be perceived as a double-meaning seemed dangerous right now. It wasn’t that Jess wasn’t hoping that, somewhere down the road, he and Rory would be crossing that line, but as tempting as it was to go right ahead and take a chance at making the leap, he was determined not to push her. After all, just a couple of days before, they weren’t even really in each other’s lives anymore. From that to sex in no time at all would be a little fast, especially for a girl like Rory. Jess cared about her way too much to screw up like that.

“Okay, so, I had a thought,” said Rory when they were closing in fast on Boston proper. “I may have a place we could park, in the city, for free.”

She wasn’t exactly surprised to find that Jess looked intrigued and then a moment later a little concerned.

“Is this going to involve your dad? Because, even though we never met, I’m pretty sure he doesn’t like me.”

“Yes and no,” Rory explained, rummaging in the bag at her feet and presently producing what she was looking for with a sound of triumph. “Visitor’s pass for the parking garage at my dad’s building,” she said, waving it in Jess’ general direction, not that he could really see much when he was watching the road. “He sent it to me months ago, for if I ever wanted to come visit. I never have used it, but we could, and you wouldn’t have to worry about actually running into him. He took Sherry and GG on vacation, they won’t be back for weeks.”

“Huh,” said Jess and then nothing more.

“I’m pretty sure it’s one of the multi-storey places with the cameras and the guards like you said. So, good idea?”

“Good idea,” Jess agreed easily.

* * *

It was an hour now since they parked the car and went immediately to a diner for lunch. It was no Luke’s, that they both agreed on, but Rory was glad of copious amounts of free refill coffee and they both seriously needed food too. Jess tried not think about how much this whole trip was going to cost him, not knowing exactly where they were going, but certain that there would be multiple meals, overnight stays, and such to be paid for. It was a stark reminder to Jess that he really had not through this through at all, but one look at Rory and her infectious smile reminded him why he had ever made the offer to take her away from everything in the first place. There was no way for him to have any regrets.

“You ready to go?” he asked her when their lunch was all paid for.

“Mmhmm,” Rory confirmed around her last mouthful of coffee. “So, I was thinking, sight-seeing wise, there are certain big things I’d like to see, like the Freedom Trail and Paul Revere’s House and everything, but honestly, after that, I’m happy enough just to explore. You know, old book stores, hole in the wall record stores, that kind of thing?”

“Sounds like a plan.” Jess nodded approvingly of her plan. “Let’s go,” he said, his arm around her shoulders as they headed for the door.

They hadn’t quite made it out into the street when a ringing sound made them both stop and look down at Rory’s pocket that was vibrating slightly. Jess watched her pull out her cell and frown hard. That could only mean one thing.

“Lorelai,” he said, no need for a questioning tone because he was already sure he was right.

“I have to answer.” Rory sighed. “She’ll only worry if I don’t. Besides, I need her to get my car from Yale.”

Jess nodded his head and moved to walk out of the diner, causing Rory to sigh one more time. He didn’t want to hear whatever conversation she was going to have with her mom about this trip. It wasn’t that Rory couldn’t understand that, she absolutely could, but a little support might have been nice. She was dreading taking her mom’s call but she had to do it and it had to be now.

“Okay,” she said to herself, accepting the call and putting the phone to her ear. “Hi, Mom,” she said cheerfully, perching on an empty seat near the door and hoping no-one would mind.

“Hey, sweets. You doing okay?”

“I’m doing great,” she said honestly. “Listen, Mom, I, uh... well, last night-”

“Rory, it’s fine,” Lorelai insisted. “You stayed with a friend, it’s not a problem. You’re a young adult, I’m not calling to yell at you and tell you to come home this minute or anything.”

“Well, that’s good,” Rory said, with a nervous laugh. “Getting home right now would take more than a minute. Um, I’m kind of in Boston, actually.”

“In Boston?” echoed Lorelai. “Oh, okay. So, this friend you stayed with, not so much a friend, more your father?”

Rory winced. “No. No, no, I didn’t... That’s not why we came here. It’s not even where we were last night. We actually just got here a little while ago.”

“We? Okay, Rory, you’re not making much sense,” said Lorelai worriedly. “Is something wrong?”

“No. Absolutely nothing is wrong, I promise,” Rory insisted, deciding it was time to rip off the Band Aid before things went too far. “Look, Mom, the truth is, well, last night I went to this bar with some guys, and then I wanted to come home and they were too drunk to drive and... and I knew you were at Liz’s wedding, so I called the diner and Jess was there. He came to pick me up and we talked a lot and...”

“And?” Lorelai prompted when Rory fell silent, somehow seeming to get a lot of ice into just the one tiny word, to the point where Rory actually shivered.

“And we decided to take a trip, a road trip, kind of a vacation, but also... I guess it’s a little like an adventure.”

“An adventure,” said Lorelai uncertainly, “with Jess.”

“Yes,” Rory confirmed. “And I know what you’re thinking.”

“I doubt it.”

“But this something I need to do, Mom. More than that, it’s something I really, _really_ want to do. I want to spend some time alone with Jess, so that we can finally figure things out, and I don’t know if this will end with us together or just tearing each other apart, but it’s kind of make or break for us this time, so we’re just going with it and seeing what happens. Do you understand?”

The pause that followed seemed to stretch from seconds to minutes to hours, though Rory was sure it couldn’t be anything like that long. She kept on waiting for her mom to scream or cry or threaten to come pick her up immediately, drive her home, and enrol her in the nearest convent. It was such a surprise when none of those things happened, not even close.

“Okay,” she said eventually.

“Okay?” Rory echoed in surprise. “Um, okay as in you think this is a good idea?”

“Now you’re reaching.” Lorelai laughed humourlessly. “Look, honey, of all the things we have disagreed on, I think you dating Jess was probably the biggest one. However, like I said at the start of this call, you are not a kid anymore. You’re a young adult, a Yalee, and pretty darn independent. I believe that you know your own mind and if you think that you need to make this trip with Jess then... then I guess I have to accept that. Am I little disappointed that you’re missing my inn opening? Yes, but hey, it’s probably about time I learned to be a grown-up too and accept that we both have our own lives, right?”

Rory bit her lip, determined not to cry until her call was done. She really hadn’t given much thought to the inn opening, which made her feel awful. Also, she wasn’t buying her mother’s acceptance at all, not even a little bit. Lorelai wanted to be okay with what Rory was doing, which was not nothing, but she was hurt and she was mad, that much was clear.

“I’m sorry about the inn, and I know that this is hard for you to understand, Mom,” she said after swallowing hard, “but like you said, I’m old enough now to know what I’m doing and I know I need to do this. I need to give this relationship a real chance, because honestly, it’s been a whole year and... and I’m just not over it. I’m not over him, I’m just not. I tried to be, but it never happened.”

“Oh, Rory.” Lorelai sighed then. “You don’t think I know that? If you pined any harder for that kid... I swear, I’m not about to say you’ve been pathetic, you hid it pretty well from most people, I’m sure of it, but I’m your mom, Rory. I know when something is on your mind and I know for sure that Jess has had a permanent spot in your brain for a long time now, and maybe not just your brain either. You love him, don’t you?”

“I... I’ve never...” Rory stumbled over her words, running a hand back through her hair. “It’s complicated right now, but he means a lot to me, I know that much.”

“Yeah, I know it too,” said Lorelai with another of those tired-sounding sighs. “Well, then, I guess all I can say is enjoy your trip, sweets, and... and just promise me you’ll be careful, okay?”

“I promise,” said Rory definitely. “Um, if you have the time, could you maybe collect my car from Yale? It has a lot of my stuff packed into it. I only brought the essentials, so...”

“I’ll get it done,” her mom promised.

“Thanks, and I really hope everything goes well with the inn. I’m sure it will, you and Sookie have worked so hard, it’s guaranteed to be great.”

“You know it, kid. Now, go on, before Mariano thinks I talked you out of this thing and throws himself under a bus.”

Rory giggled at the dumb joke, she couldn’t help it. “I love you, Mom.”

“Love you too, sweets. I guess I’ll see you soon?”

“I’ll call you sometimes, or text, or both. You’ll know where I am and that I’m safe, I promise.”

“That’s my girl. Bye, honey.”

“Bye, Mom.”

It was only after she closed up her cell and felt wetness on her hand that Rory realised she was crying. Wiping her face fast, she got up and went outside, surprised to find she couldn’t immediately see Jess. Looking left and right, she eventually spotted him peering into the window of a store a little way down the street. Walking quickly to get to him, she was surprised to find he was staring in at a guitar.

“You don’t play, right?” she asked as she reached his side. “I mean, I’m guessing that’s something you would’ve told me by now.”

“I tried to learn once,” said Jess without preamble. “Didn’t go well,” he admitted, tapping his knuckle on the glass in front of the fancy looking guitar. “That is a Fender Stratocaster. If you are gonna play, that’s what you go for.”

“Ooh, pricey,” said Rory, noting the number on the tag. “Makes you glad you don’t play, huh?”

“Sometimes.” Jess nodded before finally tearing his eyes away and looking at Rory.

She glanced away and he immediately knew why. It was clear she had been crying and he didn’t need to ask why.

“She yelled,” he guessed. “And probably told you to get your butt straight home or else.”

“She didn’t,” Rory insisted, shaking her head. “Mom was actually pretty cool about it, considering.”

“Considering?” Jess echoed, eyes dipping to the ground. “Considering it’s me that you’re with.”

“Jess, don’t,” she urged him, her arms suddenly around him and face extremely close when he looked up again. “I want to be here, that’s what I told her, and it’s true. I explained that we are taking a trip, having an adventure, and seeing where things take us, both literally and relationship-wise. She does understand. I mean, she doesn’t love it, but she understands.”

“Huh,” said Jess, nodding once. “So, not running home to mom?” he checked, smirking then as his hands found her waist.

“What do you think?” asked Rory, smirking back at him, before leaning in closer and planting a kiss on his lips. She seemed more serious when she pulled back a few moments later. “Look, just so we don’t have to fight about this later, I want to state, for the record, that I am aware you and my mom did not get off to a great start. She was worried about me dating a guy that... well, with a reputation like yours, and you found her a little... you weren’t her biggest fan,” said Rory as tactfully as she could. “But she knows what’s happening now, she didn’t go crazy, and even if she had, I am a grown woman, Jess. I’m old enough to know who I want to date and where I want to go and how I want to live my life, for the rest of this summer, at the very least,” she said, smile slowly returning. “So, can we please just enjoy this, make the most of our road trip and each other’s company, and... I don’t know, just be us?”

Jess knew he was a fool if he said anything other than yes, a million times over. She was so sure about this, so confident in her decision, it actually made him worry she was going to regret it, nevermind Lorelai. ‘No, not this time,’ he told himself. This time things were going to work out, and even if this summer was all they had, Jess was determined it was going to be the best damn summer either of them ever had. It would all be worth it, however it ended. He was so determined on that.

“Okay,” he said belatedly, nodding his head. “We’ll be us, and you’ll call your mom once in a while so she doesn’t freak out, and it’ll be great.”

“Yes, it will,” Rory agreed happily, turning out of his embrace and taking his hand instead, entwining their fingers. “So, if we’re going to get the best of Boston, I think we should probably make a start.”

“You think it can handle us?” asked Jess, smiling yet.

Rory grinned back at him. “Well, there’s only one way to find out.”


	6. Chapter 6

Rory hadn’t been kidding when she said they should get the best of Boston. She really did want to see all the sights, both famous and hidden, so that is exactly what she and Jess set out to do. In half a day, there was no way to cover everything, but they did a lot, hitting a couple of the big attractions, before wandering into an interesting shopping district with all kinds of interesting stores and eateries.

Finally, when it was getting more than a little late, they started looking for a decent but non-expensive hotel to spend the night, which of course was easier said than done. Eventually, Rory spotted somewhere advertising vacant rooms at what she considered affordable prices and started pulling on Jess’ hand.

“Rory, come on,” he complained. “There has to be a better place than this.”

“Jess, I can’t walk anymore,” she whined right back at him. “I’m getting cold and my legs are aching. This is a good place, I’m sure of it, and I have my credit card so it won’t cost you anything.”

She hadn’t noticed that he stopped walking until she tried to take another step and almost fell over as he pulled her up sharply. Turning around to look, Rory found Jess staring at her with comically wide eyes.

“What?”

“You are _not_ going to pay for the hotel,” he said definitely.

Rory rolled her eyes. “Jess, come on. You paid for the room last night, and for lunch and dinner today, and if you tell me that you’re paying for everything because you’re the guy, I’m going to have to list every feminist icon from the last fifty years at least as punishment for such absurd behaviour.”

Maybe the best thing about her threat was that they both knew she would do it too, and the very thought seemed to amuse Jess to the point where he refused to argue anymore. After all, Rory knew she was making a valid point, and a much nicer one than the other thought in her head, which was the fact that Jess was going to run out of money long before she did, even if they did share. That was a fight for another day.

“You already took care of the whole parking situation,” Jess said, clearly a token argument, as he dutifully followed Rory into the hotel.

“Which was absolutely free, courtesy of my dad,” she told him, rolling her eyes. “You pay for stuff, I pay for stuff, that is how this trip is going to be, otherwise, we’re done before we even start, you got that, Mariano?” she said with a challenging look.

“Fine,” he said, like it was a huge deal, though she had a feeling he was probably just a little relieved too, even if dumb male pride would never let him say it.

“Um, Jess, could you maybe grab me a soda from the machine out there?” she said, pointing back out the way they came. “I’ll get the room, but I’m just really thirsty.”

He looked a little confused by the request but went anyway, which pleased her. Rory let out a little sigh of relief as she stepped up to the reception desk and talked with the friendly-looking older woman waiting there.

“Hi, um, could I get a room please? A double,” she said, glancing out the glass doors to see how Jess was doing with the vending machine - the way he was kicking it suggested not so well.

“I can offer you two Queen-sized beds or one King. What’ll it be, honey?” asked the receptionist.

“One King please, definitely,” said Rory fast, her credit card already in her hand ready to pay, long before the woman with the name tag that said ‘Chelsea’ ever asked for it.

She just wanted to get the transaction done before Jess came back, and was grateful to find that just when she finally got the details figured out and the key card in her hand, that was when he decided to return.

“Sorry, no soda,” he said, looking a little pissed. “Stupid machine ate my dollar. You know, you should do something about that,” he told Chelsea crossly, but since she was just answering the ringing phone, there was little point.

“Don’t worry about it,” Rory insisted, looping her arm through Jess’ and taking him towards the elevator. “I’m pretty sure there’ll be bottled water or something in the room.”

“Yeah, and they’ll charge you eight dollars if you drink it.” Jess rolled his eyes.

“Wow, you’re in a great mood.” Rory sighed as they stepped into the car and hit the button for the fourth floor. “Let’s see if we can’t do something about that,” she said then, turning to him and putting her arms up around his neck.

When she started to kiss him, of course, Jess didn’t argue. When he backed her up against the wall and deepened the moment, even Rory almost forgot where they were for a little while. The ding of the elevator arriving at their floor pulled her from her daze and she was only relieved to find nobody was standing there waiting and staring.

“Feeling better now?” she asked Jess as she extracted herself from his grasp.

“You could say that,” he told her, smirking hard. “So, no problems getting rooms here? I’m guessing it was way more expensive than the place from last night,” he said as he followed her down the hall.

“Well, I only got one, again,” she confessed, pushing the key card into the slot. “But then, I have to admit,” she said, opening the door and leading him by the hand into the one room, “that was kind of a plan.”

Rory looked sideways at Jess, unsure what his reaction might be when he finally saw the King-sized bed, the only one in the room. She was pretty sure he could not misinterpret what she was saying here. Unfortunately, he seemed to be saying nothing at all, just standing there staring, completely struck dumb.

“Before you ask, yes, I do know this room has only one bed,” she said fast, filling the horribly silent void with as many words as possible, as was the Gilmore way. “Like I said, it _was_ a plan, and I’m now realising maybe it was a presumptuous plan, and probably if a guy did this to a girl, everybody would say how awful he was, and hey, it’s not exactly fair if it’s wrong for a guy but okay for a girl, so I’m sorry if-”

It was as far as she got before Jess pulled her into his arms and kissed her firmly on the lips. As kisses went, it was pretty brief, but it did the job. Rory didn’t feel the need to talk anymore.

“For the record, the rambling thing is still adorable,” he told her softly, “but everything you just said there? Not really necessary.”

Rory swallowed hard and nodded her head. “Yeah, I figured,” she said then. “So, you’re okay with this, right?”

“Are you kidding?” asked Jess, incredulous as she had ever seen him. “Rory, you know that last night almost killed me, right? I mean, you and me, sleeping in the same room, at one point you were actually sitting on my bed...”

“Oh, God, now I just feel awful,” she said with a groan as she turned her face away from him. “How did I not even realise how wrong that was?”

“Hey, I’m not trying to make you feel bad,” he promised, his hand at her cheek urging her to look at him again. “Rory, I knew what I was getting into when we started this whole crazy road trip thing. We talked about it, remember? You told me you were not ready to jump into that and I said it was fine, and it is,” he promised her. “So, now I’m wondering, what changed in the last twenty-four hours or less?”

Rory opened her mouth to answer that question before realising she wasn’t sure how. “Something,” she said eventually. “Everything?” she tried again, before shaking her head because she knew she was getting this all wrong. “Jess, you know when we were together before, I mean, you know how close we were to... How close _I_ was to being ready for... it,” she said pointedly.

“I remember,” he confirmed with a single nod.

“Okay, so, you also know that when you came back and we decided on this trip, well, it was supposed to be... not exactly starting over and not quite picking up where we left off but fixing things, making it how it should be between us, or maybe just finding out exactly what this thing is with us in the first place.”

“Not gonna argue with you so far,” said Jess easily, “but that still doesn’t explain-”

“I’m getting to that,” she insisted, clearing her throat before she could go on. “I just... I think things really changed when, well, when I talked to my mom today.”

Jess’ eyes widened with a surprise at that remark and Rory wasn’t entirely shocked to see it. Lorelai was certainly no fan of Jess, and the reverse was also true. Besides, even if they had gotten along, it would be a strange thing for a girl’s mother to inspire her to finally sleep with the boyfriend, and yet, in some strange way, this was Lorelai’s doing.

“You’re going to explain this to me, right?” Jess asked, looking confused and a little concerned by now.

Rory sighed, took a hold of his hand and led him over to the foot of the bed, sitting down and pulling him down beside her. Looking down at his hand still in hers, she started over.

“Jess, the truth is that... that my feelings for you have always been so strong, strong enough that it actually scared me sometimes. I felt so uncertain about things because, well, I think in the beginning we were both too young and dumb to ever deal with our problems, but now... now, you’re getting your life together and I’m figuring out who I am, just Rory, not Lorelai’s daughter or Emily an Richard’s granddaughter, or Stars Hollow’s princess. Yale is letting me find out who I am and I thought maybe this trip would do the same thing for us, you know, to find out who Rory & Jess really are.

“Anyway, I was a little apprehensive about that, in the same way I was a little scared and unsure when I first had to do the whole college thing by myself. It was only when my mom called me today and gave me the option to change my mind, to run back home and give up this idea of freedom and independence and... and being with you again,” she said, smiling at him now, because it was impossible not to. “Jess, I realised then that I could not want anything less than a reason to be anywhere but with you. I so wanted to take this trip, to try to make the best out of this relationship. What I’m saying is that I realised that I was wrong before when I said I thought I could have loved you. I _did_ love you then, and I still love you now, so much,” she admitted, unaware her eyes were filling with tears as she confessed it until he reached out to wipe one away from her cheek.

“You know I love you too,” he told her solemnly. “I know I really screwed up the first time I said that-”

“That doesn’t matter now,” she promised him, her finger on his lips literally stopping him from going on. “Jess, we agreed not to keep on going over and over the past anymore,” she reminded him. “And I don’t think right now is the time to worry about the future either. If there was ever a better time to be focused on the present moment, I can’t think when it would be,” she said, laughing a little nervously as her eyes darted to the bed they were sitting on and then back up to meet his intense gaze.

“Rory,” he said softly. “You’re really sure about this?”

She wasn’t sure she could love him any more than she already did and yet when Jess actually asked her that, she knew that she could.

“So sure.” she told him, shifting a little closer. “Aren’t you?”

“Again, are you kidding?”

They both laughed at that and yet were serious again in a moment as they leaned in closer and their lips met. Kissing came as naturally to Rory and Jess as breathing, always had, and falling into make-out mode was no problem at all.

As they lay down on the bed together, both reaching for fasteners and easing each other out of their clothes, it all suddenly seemed so easy, so perfect, and just as it should be for a young couple in love. Rory couldn’t have imagined it being any better than this.


	7. Chapter 7

“I’m glad it was you.”

Jess looked down to where Rory was lying curled into his side, her head on his chest, wanting to say something in response and not really knowing where to start. He had a feeling he knew what she meant, that she was glad that he was her first. He was glad too, but that seemed like the wrong answer. After all, it wasn’t as if he had waited for somebody special himself. He almost wished he had now.

Thankfully, Rory didn’t seem to mind so much that he wasn’t talking, she just looked up at him and smiled.

“You know, for a while after you left, I was really glad it hadn’t been, but a part of me always knew it should’ve been,” she explained. “So, yeah, basically, I am _so_ glad it was you.”

At that, he leaned down to kiss her softly on the lips, hoping that let her know he felt much the same. When he told her once that the verbal thing tended to come and go with him, he hadn’t entirely been kidding, but something about tonight had seriously robbed him of his words and most coherent thoughts, except for one or two important things.

“I love you, Rory,” he promised her. “I should’ve told you that sooner, and probably in a better way, but hey, at least we got there eventually, right?”

“Yes, we did,” she said, holding him tighter. “So, that’s what that’s like, huh?”

“Yep, that would be it,” he told her, pulling the covers up over them some more and kissing the top of her head. “You’re okay, right?”

“I’m very okay,” she said, nodding her head against his chest. “Actually, well, with everything people say, I was expecting it to be more awkward and stuff, you know, the first time, but... I don’t know, maybe it’s different when it’s meant to be. I don’t think everybody gets that lucky with the first time.”

“They really don’t,” said Jess, without really thinking about how she would take it.

Rory was the inquisitive type and she already knew that he had more experience in these things than she did, she had always known that. Of course, they never talked about specifics, the when, and who, and how come. It wasn’t really a conversation he wanted to have either, especially not right now.

“So,” he said, clearing his throat. “At least here we don’t have to worry about your mom or Luke or anybody busting in on us. I guess that’s an advantage to not having done this in Stars Hollow.”

“Yes, definite bonus,” Rory agreed, shifting to prop up her head on her hand and look at him. “You know, for the record, it was never about them.”

Jess frowned at that remark, about to ask exactly what she meant by it when Rory explained anyway.

“I mean, I didn’t... I wasn’t holding back from this because of anything my mom said. You know, she and I talk about everything, but my being ready was my decision. She wouldn’t have stopped me.”

“I know.” Jess smiled. “You weren’t ready then, and I don’t blame you. You should trust somebody before... well, I wasn’t exactly trustworthy at the time.”

“Not so much,” Rory admitted, shaking her head, “but it’s different now, isn’t it? I mean, we both just needed a little time and space. We both grew up, and now, well, I don’t exactly have a frame of reference here, but I happen to think it was worth the wait,” she said, strangely shy and coy all of a sudden considering what they had been doing shortly before.

“More than worth it,” Jess promised her, kissing her again.

This time, he didn’t pull back and her arms around him proved she didn’t want him to. Somehow, Jess didn’t see himself or Rory getting a whole lot of sleep tonight, and frankly, he couldn’t care less!

* * *

It had never been the plan. Rory stood by the window of the hotel room in Boston, cradling a hot cup of coffee between her hands and wondering how three days had passed since she and Jess first arrived at the place. They were just supposed to stay one night and then move on, but here they were. Actually, here she was. Jess had gone out a while ago, saying he had errands to run.

It all sounded a little strange to Rory but he promised to be back in a few hours and explain everything then. Since she trusted him, she didn’t argue and hung out in the room, watching a movie and eating junk for a while. Honestly, she needed the time to recover. The last three days had been a combination of much physical activity.

Walking some serious distances to see the sights that Boston had to offer was just a small part of it, because a lot of the physical exertion had happened at night. Rory blushed just thinking about it, though she wasn’t at all ashamed, just a little overwhelmed still by how fast she and Jess had gotten back to such closeness. Actually, she wasn’t sure they had ever been quite this close, and she wasn’t just thinking of the sex either.

They talked more now, not least because it was kind of necessary. They spent all day and all night together, 24/7 as a couple, which made the past few hours without Jess being there seem so very strange to Rory. She filled some time by taking the opportunity to check in with her mom, though of course, she didn’t mention any sleeping arrangement stuff. It was a short conversation, but nobody got mad, so that was cool. Afterwards, Rory went back to missing Jess but felt sort of stupid for doing so. After all, where were all those feminine tendencies Lorelai had instilled in her about a woman not needing a man to get along? She agreed wholeheartedly with that still, but that didn’t mean Rory wasn’t happy enough when Jess got back and proved it to him the minute he got in the door.

“Okay then,” he said, when she finally stopped kissing him, carrying her over to the bed and depositing her on the end. “I know they say, ‘Absence makes the heart grow fonder’ but seriously, Ror, I was only gone a couple of hours.”

“Almost four,” she corrected, poking out her tongue, “and you do realise that’s the longest we’ve been apart since we came away on this trip, right?”

“I guess it is,” Jess considered, shucking off his jacket, “but I had a good reason for going out.”

Rory’s eyes widened with surprise as Jess pulled something from his pocket and tossed it onto the bed. There were suddenly a lot of pictures of President Grant lying next to her there.

“Please tell me you did not just rob a bank,” said Rory, only half-joking to be honest.

“Seriously?” Jess rolled his eyes. “If they came from a bank, they’d be banded, 100 bills a bundle. Trust me, there is not five grand there,” he confirmed, sitting down on the other edge of the bed, the money laying between them still.

“Jess, come on,” Rory said, still frowning. “What did you do?”

He sighed and finally seemed willing to give a real explanation. “I was owed some money from a guy back in New York for some work I did. Before you ask, it’s all above board, nothing illegal, he just hadn’t gotten around to making the payment yet. Now that he did, I could get the money out, but obviously not all out of one ATM. It took me a while to get around enough to withdraw it all. I’d just rather have the cash, since we don’t exactly know where we’re going next.”

“That’s a pretty smart plan,” Rory considered, “but you couldn’t just tell me that you were hitting the ATM? Or several ATMs?”

“I could,” he admitted, squirming a little as he gathered the money back up and hid it away in an inside pocket of his leather jacket. “But I was also checking on the car and making some calls. I promise, nothing sinister is going on.”

He said it almost with laughter in his voice and Rory realised how crazy she was being. She trusted Jess, she had to in order to be doing what she was doing, and when he told her what he had been doing, she did believe him. At least he wasn’t offended about her concern, that probably showed how much he had grown to trust her too, actually.

“I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head. “It was just weird with you being gone. I’m turning into a freak of nature.”

Jess leaned across, his hand behind her head guiding her to him for a kiss. “You’re not a freak,” he promised her. “In fact, you’re one of the smartest women I know, so, maybe you can figure out a good place for us to go next and plot a route or something,” he said then, producing more papers from inside his jacket, though these were distinctly larger than dollar bills.

“Okay,” she said, turning over the maps he had tossed into her lap. “You wanna drive all the way to the west coast? No offence, but I’m not sure your car will make it,” she said with a smirk.

“Ha ha,” he deadpanned, rolling his eyes. “My car will get us anywhere you wanna go, trust me, not that we have to go to the coast or anything. I just grabbed the maps that covered most of the US so you could pick wherever you wanted.”

He got up then to put his jacket back on the hook. Rory watched him a moment and then spread the maps out across the bed.

“You know, it shouldn’t just be about where I want to go,” she considered, giving each area of the US her attention in turn. “Isn’t there anywhere you want to see? Some place you never visited that you always wanted to?”

Jess shrugged his shoulders as he wandered back towards the bed. “Not really. I lived so long in and around New York, spent last summer in California, then came right back. I don’t know, when I asked you to come away with me, I wasn’t exactly thinking of vacation spots,” he said, sitting down across from her. “I just wanted to be with you.”

Rory smiled, leaned over and kissed him. “Good answer,” she said as she pulled back.

“I thought so.” Jess smirked at her, though she knew as well as he did he had not been kidding.

“Hmm, so, places to go visit... Ooh, literary spots!” Rory suddenly had a brain wave, scrambling to find her original map of the north east and spreading it out over the top of all the others. “You know, all those places where famous authors were born or lived, places where they have memorials and museums and stuff?”

Jess slowly nodded his head. “Could have potential. Like the Poe National Site in Philadelphia?”

“And the Emily Dickinson Museum in Amherst,” said Rory, pointing on the map with genuine excitement. “That’s barely a couple of hours away. Good plan?”

“Good plan,” Jess agreed.

Rory grinned in triumph and set about digging into the business of putting together a real plan. She always loved that part of a journey or anything at all really, getting all the data together, weighing up the pros and cons of options, and everything. Of course, when Jess moved to sit alongside her, peering over her shoulder at the maps, she thought he was going to be helpful in the process. When his fingers started running through her hair, then his lips found that spot on her neck that took away all her higher brain functions she realised she was wrong.

“Jess,” she gasped. “I thought you wanted me to make a plan.”

“Later,” he told her, pulling her closer. “I just made a plan of my own. Wanna hear it?”

Rory giggled. “Pretty sure I already know what it is,” she admitted, turning in his arms and kissing him soundly as they fell back onto the bed in a tangle of limbs.

The maps would be very crumpled by the time they got back to them, but that was okay. After all, the literal travelling part of this trip was only half the journey Rory and Jess were taking. Right now, they were working on the other part, and they intended to take it slow and enjoy it immensely.


	8. Chapter 8

Eventually, they had to talk about money. Rory had been hoping to avoid it at all costs (pun mostly intended) but she knew they couldn’t put it off forever. Jess had his money from the guy in New York who owed it to him, and from what Rory could gather, some cash that Luke insisted on giving him before he left the Hollow. Other than that, there was very little money in the Jess Mariano fund, and though Rory did have some savings she could dig into if necessary, she was wary of spending too much. The only other option seemed to be cutting their road trip very short, but Rory really, _really_ did not want that.

“So, I guess we work?” she suggested as they walked through the streets of Philadelphia, Jess’ arm around her shoulders.

They had just been to the Edgar Allan Poe National Site and were now looking out for a good place to get coffee and also food, but mostly coffee.

“ _We_ work?” Jess checked, looking a little surprised.

“Well, I’m not going to live off you all summer, any more than you would be happy with living off of me,” said Rory definitely. “Besides, wasn’t it you who gave me a whole speech once about how you’d live where you live and work when you need money? We could both do that, it might even be fun.”

“Wow.” Jess chuckled then. “If that doesn’t prove that you never had a real job before then nothing ever will.”

Rory smacked him in the chest for his lousy attempt at humour, but unfortunately, she also knew he had a point.

“I worked before,” she muttered. “Okay, so it was at the inn with mom and a little in the diner for Luke when his uncle passed, but it’s not like I’m completely incapable of getting my hands dirty. I can wash dishes, wait tables, whatever it takes. I mean, places are always looking for young people to do the crappy jobs, right?”

“That is true,” Jess considered. “So, what? We’re just going to wander into diners and cafes, offer to work a couple of hours and expect a free meal?”

“Maybe.” Rory shrugged. “I’m not saying I have a concrete plan here, I’m just saying, we can handle it, right?”

She was expecting some answer from Jess and looked at him curiously when none came. There was a weird smile on his face that she couldn’t understand, and before she could ask him about it, he just kissed her.

“What was that for?” she asked, a little dazed by the sudden moment of sweetness, and in public no less.

“For being you,” he told her.

Rory had a feeling she knew what he meant by that. Jess never really expected her to come on this trip, she knew that, and even when she had surprised them both by agreeing, he had spent much of the first few days expecting her to change her mind and run on home.

Quite honestly, Rory had never once regretted her decision, not even when she realised she was going to have to work on her so-called vacation. It was worth it. Every part of what she was doing right now was worth it, from disappointing her mom, to not seeing her friends, and giving up her summer to drive aimlessly around the country, spending money she hadn’t earned yet. At least this way she was getting to be with Jess, and they were just so happy being together. She honestly had no regrets at all.

* * *

“I am beat!” Jess declared, collapsing onto the bed beside Rory. “Seriously, I know that place seemed busy at lunch, but it was nothing compared to the dinner rush.”

“You don’t have to tell me!” she reminded him, putting both her hands in front of her face. “I never washed so many dishes in my life. I swear, I’m not even sure there is any skin left on my hands. This may just be muscle and bone, I can’t tell anymore, they’re numb.”

“Geez, Rory. How hot was the water?” he asked, worriedly, inspecting her very red hands.

“It’s fine,” she told him, pulling them from his grasp and rolling her eyes. “I mean, I didn’t love it, but it was fine, and we got paid, that’s the main thing.”

“They should’ve let you wait tables too,” Jess grumbled. “It’s not like we couldn’t have used the help.”

“Apparently, being a Yalee does not automatically get you a waitressing job. You have experience and I don’t,” Rory reminded him. “All I was good for was dishwashing, but like I said, it was fine. I’ll get used it.”

The point was, Jess didn’t want her to have to get used to it. He didn’t want Rory to do menial tasks like washing dishes or even waiting tables, but they really did need the money, and Jess couldn’t make enough by himself, especially not if they wanted to spend any time together at all or see any decent places on this trip they were taking.

Picking up her hand that was nearest to him, Jess planted a kiss on the back.

“I’m sorry, Ror,” he told her. “I know you can deal, I just... I don’t want you to have to.”

“I know,” she said, turning to smile at him, “but I want to. I want to be with you. I want more of this adventure that we’re having, and if that means washing dishes and taking out garbage and handing out flyers, I’ll do it. I happen to think you’re worth it.”

“That’s a minority opinion,” he reminded her.

“Well, the majority is dumb,” Rory countered, leaning over to plant a kiss on his lips.

His arm around her kept her on top of him as he kissed her back for all he was worth.

“Hmm, I thought you were tired,” she reminded him, pulling back a little.

“You inspired me to rally,” he told her, smirking hard.

Rory laughed at that then went in for another kiss, and Jess didn’t object at all.

* * *

Rory had determined that she wouldn’t make calling her mom too big of a deal. When she was out enjoying herself with Jess, or moreover when she was _in_ enjoying herself with Jess, she barely gave Stars Hollow a thought. Still, once in a while, Rory got reflective and missed people, Lorelai most especially. Those were the times when she would drop her mom a text to say hello, tell her where she was today, ask if everything was going okay with the inn and all. Other times, she actually called and there was a conversation. They had started off very brief and weirdly awkward, but it had gotten better. If Rory didn’t know better, at this point, she would almost think her mom approved of her road tripping across the country with her former ex-boyfriend.

“Well, hey there, Traveling Matt.”

“A _Fraggle Rock_ reference, really?”

“Hey, you’ve been gone a while, I already used up my best material,” Lorelai reminded her, making Rory feel a little bad, whether she meant to or not. “So, where are we today? Kentucky? Kansas? Kazakhstan?” she asked with a chuckle.

“Actually, your first guess was closest,” Rory told her.

“You’re kidding.”

“Not really. I mean, right now, we’re in Virginia, close to Roanoke, and heading south. We agreed that the next literary stop would be Rowan Oak. That’s William Faulkner’s house in Oxford, Mississippi.”

“Wow,” said Lorelai, sounding a little stunned. “That’s, uh... that’s a long way, babe. We’re talking way down south in Dixie here.”

“It is kind of a long way,” Rory admitted, “but we figured if we’re going to do this, we should really do it right. Besides, we’ve both been working off and on, we’re fine for gas money and Jess’ car is in better condition that you’d think.”

“It’d have to be,” she heard Lorelai mutter. “Well, honey, you know, if you get in a jam and you need money, you know I could-”

“I know,” said Rory fast, “and it’s not that I don’t appreciate it, Mom, because I really do, but it’s fine. We’re doing just fine. I mean, I miss you sometimes, but other than that, we’re just having a really great time.”

She was smiling when she said it and almost wished Lorelai could see her. Maybe she did have raw hands from dish washing and such, but she was also getting a pretty nice tan from all the walking outdoors in the summer sunshine. Maybe she wasn’t eating quite as well as she would at home, but she was getting to sample lots of different things on their trip across states. Rory was just happy, really happy, and she wished her mom could understand that.

“You know what kills me?” said Lorelai then, almost too quietly to hear. “You sound so damn happy, kid. I mean, I love that, I truly do, but... well, I kinda wish you were being so happy here, that’s all.”

Rory grinned wider, she couldn’t help it.

“I am happy,” she promised. “I’m so glad that you realise that and that you’re okay with it. Trust me, if we could be this happy there then we would, but it had to be this way, Mom. If me and Jess were ever going to figure things out...”

“I know,” Lorelai assured her. “Honestly, I actually do. You guys needed to be out in the world, away from interfering moms and uncles for a while, right?”

“Not just that,” Rory told her honestly. “I mean, yes, it is easier being away, but I don’t want you to think that it’s your fault or anything, it’s really not.”

There was a moment or two of silence and then Lorelai sighed. “I think maybe it’s a little bit my fault,” she admitted then. “I wasn’t going to tell you this but, well, me and Luke, we got into a fight about the whole Magical Mystery Tour you and Jess are taking, and before you freak out, we figured it out. No real damage done, I promise,” she said fast. “And actually, I’m glad it happened, because it made me face up to some stuff I didn’t want to admit. Jess was a fresh-mouthed John Bender wannabe that first night at our house, I’m not taking that back, but I probably could’ve treated him better too, with a little more understanding, at least. Having met his mom now, I more than get where he was coming from. What I’m saying is, I’m sorry, Rory, for your sake as much as his, that I wasn’t... well, understanding. You can tell him I said that. You know, if you want to.”

“Okay,” said Rory, finding it impossible to say very much more because there was a huge lump in her throat. “Thanks, Mom.”

“Hey, never let it be said that Lorelai Gilmore doesn’t own her mistakes. Now, that kid is treating you right, yes?”

“Yes,” Rory promised, back to smiling again in a second. “Like I said, we could not be happier, I swear.”

“That’s all I needed to hear, sweets.”

They ended their call soon after and Jess conveniently returned to the motel room about ten seconds later. Sometimes, Rory would swear he had some kind of Lorelai radar, he just knew when the coast was clear.

“Things okay with your mom?” he asked her.

“Uh-huh.” Rory nodded, tossing her cell onto the nightstand. “She even told me I should tell you something.”

“‘Go to hell’?” he guessed, completely seriously.

Rory rolled her eyes. “No. She said I should tell you she knows she didn’t treat you so well when you lived in Stars Hollow and that she’s sorry about that.”

“Huh.”

It wasn’t as if Rory was really expecting any much more of an answer than that, with Jess it was often all you got. Besides, she figured it was probably safer that he didn’t elaborate when it came to her mom. It was one of just a handful of topics they could all too easily fall out over.

“You know,” he said then, all his focus seemingly on hanging up his jacket and rummaging around in his bag for something, “next time you talk to her, you could tell her I said no hard feelings.”

“Yeah?” Rory checked, watching him closely.

“Sure.” Jess shrugged, barely glancing at her. “I guess you could also tell her that I know I was out of line with her, more than a few times, but I’ve changed since then.”

“That last part she knows,” Rory assured him. “I’ve told her, _a lot_ , but I’ll tell her the rest, next call. I promise.”

Jess nodded but said no more, going back to whatever he was pretending to be doing that was so important and Rory let him. This was not something she needed to make a big deal out of, even if it did kind of mean the world to her. In the circumstances, she was pretty sure Jess already knew that anyway.


	9. Chapter 9

“I don’t think we thought this through,” said Rory, unfastening another button on her shirt and flapping her hands around in attempt to make any kind of breeze.

“Pretty sure that’s becoming the tagline for this trip,” said Jess, letting his eyes wander from the road just a little given the developing view to his right. “You so were not ready for this weather, huh?”

“I knew the south was hot, obviously,” Rory said, swallowing hard, “but it is just _so_ hot.”

“It’s not so bad,” Jess told her, shrugging his shoulders.

He glanced over at Rory again just in time to see her jaw practically land in the footwell. Clearly, she did not agree with his assessment of the weather and it was tough not to explain why he was less affected than she was by the heat.

“California was pretty hot, especially since I showed up in more East coast attire. Apparently, you don’t need a leather jacket on the beach.”

“Who knew?” said Rory, rolling her eyes. “Seriously, was it as hot as this?”

“Maybe not quite this bad. Took some getting used to though,” Jess considered. “As did realising half my DNA comes from a beach nut.”

“Your dad loves the beach?”

“Said he’d marry it if he could.”

“Wow.” Rory shook her head. “I can’t even picture you on a beach, leather jacket or not,” she said, turning a little in the passenger seat and staring hard at him with a grin on her face. “When you say it took some getting used to, I mean, you didn’t go all Brian Wilson or anything did you?”

Jess wrinkled his brow. “You wanna be a little more specific, ‘cause I could take that about eight different ways.”

“I mostly meant his early Beach Boys days.” Rory giggled. “You would look so cute in a Hawaiian shirt,” she teased him, poking him in the arm.

“Shut up,” Jess complained, though it was tough to keep the smirk off his face. “You may wanna check the map sometime soon, let me know where we’re staying tonight.”

He heard Rory start rustling around in her purse and saw the map unfurling out of the corner of his eye. Jess knew she would be a while finding them a good spot and that meant he could put all his focus on driving, which was necessary right now. Despite what he said, he was feeling the heat of the day as they got further down south, and honestly, he was pretty tired too.

They had a whole ‘work hard, play hard’ thing going on so far on this trip, and though he was loving spending so much time with Rory, getting this whole summer alone with her and all, it was beginning to take its toll a little bit. Slowing down didn’t seem to be an option though. Jess was bound and determined not to waste a second of the time they had, which didn’t necessarily mean travelling quickly from one destination to the other.

Rory liked to stop in various places for a couple days because they were pretty or looked interesting, and Jess didn’t mind at all. Gave them a chance to earn some more money, spend some real time in a comfortable bed, with a real shower (because yes, they had slept in the car once or twice and it was not fun). Plus, it meant a real break from driving which got wearing on his nerves, even when he did let Rory take a turn.

What bothered Jess most was that, eventually, all this was going to have to end. There was that pesky promise that he made to Rory back in her dorm room at Yale. If she wanted to head back to Connecticut when September rolled around, he said he would take her there. Though the larger part of Jess was hanging some hope on the fact she would change her mind and decide to stay with him, doing whatever they wanted to do, there was a smaller, more annoying part that knew it was unlikely to happen.

Rory got into Yale (as well as Harvard and Princeton) and there was no way she was going to walk away from that, not forever. Besides, she was going to want to go back to see Lorelai, Luke, Lane, Paris, her grandparents, all those people that she loved and who loved her too.

Jess wished he could say he didn’t understand the attraction of being amongst family and friends, and quite honestly, for the most part, he didn’t. Staying away from his mother was always a good thing to his mind, and though he got along well enough with Jimmy and his new family, Jess had no particular longing to stick around. He wasn’t much for friends either, but he did have Luke, and as much as he might like to deny it for the most part, Jess loved his uncle. He was the only person in his life that had really stood by him, who had genuinely wanted to help him and gone ahead and done it. That meant a lot. Almost as much Rory saying yes when he asked her to come on this crazy road trip with him.

“Jess? Are you okay?”

“What?” he asked, coming out of a daze to find her staring at him with no small amount of worry in her eyes. “Sorry, just... thinking,” he said vaguely.

He had been concentrating on the road ahead, though with little traffic to speak of on a pretty straight piece of highway, it didn’t take up much of his brain capacity. The rest had been wandering, apparently to the point where he hadn’t noticed Rory talking to him.

“Penny for your thoughts,” she said, folding the map back up again.

“I seriously doubt they’re worth that much.” Jess sighed.

“Come on, you know they are to me,” Rory insisted, leaning in to plant a quick kiss on his cheek and earning herself a smile for her trouble. “Talk to me, please.”

It would be so much easier to tell her no, to say that he didn’t want or need to, but that wasn’t going to fly, not these days. Jess had made more than one promise to Rory when they headed out on this trip and more besides since they got to travelling along together too. He had told her she could rely on him now, that he loved her, that he wouldn’t let her down again. They had agreed in amongst all this that they really did need to communicate, something they had both sucked at the first time around. They had to admit when there was a problem and be honest about what they were feeling. It did not come easy to Jess, not at all, but for Rory, he would try, always.

“I was thinking about Luke,” he admitted eventually. “You know, I haven’t talked to him at all since we left.”

“Oh, okay,” said Rory, and he saw her nodding in his peripheral vision. “So, is there something stopping you from calling him, checking in?”

Jess opened his mouth then closed it again, bit his lip and considered carefully before finally spitting out an answer.

“We were in a pretty good place when I left, or before I left, I guess,” he said, shaking his head. “I went back to the apartment to pack up my stuff while he was still at the wedding with your mom. Part of me was thinking, ‘Just leave, no long goodbyes.’ We’re not the type, you know? And part of me thought that was crazy, because after everything, was I really going to do that? Again?”

“And then I called you,” Rory recalled.

“And then you called me,” he echoed with a smile, “and that made the choice for me. I left to come pick you up and we started this whole insane but amazing road trip... and I never did talk to Luke.”

He wasn’t sure what he wanted her to say in response. Jess wasn’t even sure what it was he was feeling about the whole Luke situation exactly. Awkward, definitely, a little guilty, of course, but given that the whole family-that-cares thing was still fairly new to him, it was hard to tell exactly.

“Well, if you wanted to talk to him, you could call,” said Rory eventually. “I’m sure he’d be happy to hear from you, and he would absolutely understand why you left the way you did. I mean, you were rescuing me. That’s nothing that Luke wouldn’t do for my mom or me.”

“Until the rescue turned into a kidnapping.” Jess rolled his eyes.

“Don’t even joke about that,” said Rory snippily. “Jess, you did not make me do anything that I did not want to do. You never have, and Luke knows that, just the same as my mom knows it.”

He hated that he made her even a little mad. Anything spoiling this trip and the happy, carefree mood that went along with most of it was just awful. Unfortunately, Jess was the king of putting his foot on a landmine in the space between him and Rory. He had done it so many times before and doubted he was done yet.

“I know this trip is... well, it’s what we want to do and they should understand that,” he said eventually. “Geez, if you got your mom to accept it without chasing us half way across the country to kick my ass, Luke ought to understand.”

“And he does, I’m sure he does,” Rory insisted. “You know when we were together before, he was always okay with it.”

Jess laughed at that, a hollow chuckle that he couldn’t keep in.

“Yeah, you only saw half of the reaction. You do realise that when he and I were alone, he was grilling me about what we’d been doing, warning me off of ever laying a finger on you, and pretty much playing the role of protective father for you, not me.”

“Oh. I didn’t... But I...”

“Hey, you don’t have to feel bad about it. You didn’t know. Besides, Luke’s known you more than half your life and... and he loves you like you were his daughter. I was never mad about it, not really.”

“But he should have cared about you more than me, or if not more, at least as much. Honestly, I think he does, he’s just... he’s not always the best at showing it is all.”

Jess knew Rory was right. He knew he took after his uncle more than a little bit in that way also. Showing emotions, it just wasn’t as easy for the Danes men as it was for some other people. Didn’t mean they didn’t feel anything, obviously, though he supposed it might come off that way sometimes.

“Take the next exit,” said Rory after another half mile of road had gone under the wheels.

Jess looked up ahead and when they reached the turning, headed off just like she said. He wondered if they were done talking about Luke now and realised they probably weren’t when Rory had him pull over on a sideroad, miles from anywhere they might be staying for the night. Before he could ask what was going on, she reached across to switch off the engine and then practically threw herself in his lap, hugging him hard.

“What’s this for?” he asked, holding her close.

“Nothing,” she told him.

“Rory, come on.”

He knew there was a reason. He could even take a good guess at what it was, but he would much rather her say it. Suddenly, she pulled back, pushing her sweat-drenched hair from her forehead and meeting his eyes.

“Luke loves you,” she said definitely. “And I love you, and I don’t ever want you to forget either of those things, because they’ll always be true. Either one of us might get mad at you for whatever reason, but we always, always love you.”

Jess had to swallow very hard, twice, before he could answer her.

“I know.”

It was as much as he could say but presumably all she needed to hear as she moved closer again and planted a kiss on his lips. A moment later, she was climbing back into the passenger side and rebuckling her seatbelt.

“There’s a small town about five miles down this road,” she said matter-of-factly.

“Okay.” Jess nodded, starting up the car again and driving on.

They had gone maybe two or three of the five miles when he cleared his throat and found a few more words to say.

“Maybe I’ll call him, you know, just to check in.”

“That’d be nice,” said Rory, with a smile he could hear, as Jess drove on.


	10. Chapter 10

“Luke Danes.”

It wasn’t what he said when he answered the phone but the way that he said it. To Jess’ ears, his uncle sounded pissed before he even knew who he was talking to and that made him wary. Maybe it hadn’t been such a good idea to make this call after all.

“Hello?” said Luke impatiently in his ear. “Speak now or I’m hanging up, your choice.”

“You know, when you text me your number and told me you had a cell phone now, I honestly thought it was a joke,” said Jess, smirking hard, unable to help it, especially when Luke sighed.

“Hello, nephew. Good to hear from you.”

“Is it? I wasn’t so sure,” he admitted, shifting uncomfortably in place as if his uncle could actually see him.

“Are you kidding?” Luke countered. “Jess, how many more times? You need me, I’m here, okay? Jess?”

“I got it,” he agreed, swallowing hard. “Uh, so, that whole part where I left without a goodbye or anything, it wasn’t exactly a plan.”

“I figured, and then, you know, Rory told Lorelai how it happened and she told me. For what it’s worth, I think this is a good idea.”

That part kind of stunned Jess a little bit. He wasn’t overly surprised to hear his uncle say he was still there for him and wasn’t mad at him for skipping out the way he had. That was Luke. Still, the idea that he might be in support of Rory and Jess running off on a crazy road trip together all out of the blue, that took some swallowing.

“Hold on a second. We have your blessing for this trip?”

“I’m pretty sure you don’t need my blessing,” he said, in a such a way that Jess could practically hear him rolling his eyes. “Jess, come on, you’re coming on for twenty years old and Rory isn’t far behind. If you guys want to spend this time together, to have some fun or figure things out or whatever it is you’re doing, then I say do it. It’ll probably do you both some good.”

Jess meant to say something in response to that. Maybe thank you for the support and understanding, maybe some kind of agreement that Luke was absolutely right. Unfortunately, he was struggling to find any words that he was able to actually get out of his mouth. Clearing his throat, he eventually managed to say something.

“Thanks. Uh, so, you’re out in the world too, right? Rory said you headed out to the Ren Fayre to help out Liz and Mr Etch-A-Sketch.”

“And it’s a barrel-load of fun, let me tell you,” Luke dead-panned. “In case you were wondering, your mom and TJ aren’t doing so bad.”

“Good,” Jess agreed with a sigh. “I do mean that.”

“I know that you do. So, how about you, nephew? You and Rory doing okay?”

“We’re doing okay,” he confirmed, eyes straying to the bathroom door behind which Rory was currently showering. “Seeing some sights, having some fun, making our way.”

“That’s good. I mean, you and Rory, you’re... good?”

He couldn’t have sounded more awkward if he tried, not that Jess could blame him. It was a weird question for Luke to have to ask, the status of his nephew’s relationship with his almost-daughter. Still, it did mean a lot that he cared enough to even try to ask.

“We’re good,” he said, smiling and unable to stop. “We’re... figuring things out, seeing what happens.”

“Okay, well, that sounds... good.”

That one word was getting pretty over-used, Jess noticed, but he couldn’t say that was a bad thing. If there was a word that could stand to be more present in conversations about his life and his relationship with Rory lately, it was definitely ‘good’. It’d been a long time coming.

There was a lot of yelling in the background on Luke’s end of the call then and some shuffling sounds before Luke seemed to move the phone away and yell something too. Jess waited for a few seconds and then suddenly his uncle was back with him.

“I’m sorry, Jess, I gotta go,” he said regretfully, “but hey, you still have the same checking account as when you lived with me?”

“Sure, but Luke, that’s not why-”

“I know that it’s not,” said his uncle, before Jess could even finish. “Look, give it a couple of days then check your balance. You might like what you see.”

“You don’t have to.”

“I know that too, but I want to. For Rory, as well as for you, okay?”

Jess sighed, knowing there was no point to arguing, knowing also that it would be really nice to know they weren’t always counting every cent and having to find menial work at each stop they made just to get by.

“Thank you, Luke. Seriously, I mean that.”

“You’re welcome, nephew. Take care of yourself, and Rory too, you hear me?”

“I promise,” said Jess faithfully, before they both hung up.

Though he really had meant what he said about not calling his uncle just looking for a hand-out, Jess did feel a little better knowing there would be some money in his account before long. For a multitude of reasons, he was trying not to think too hard of what happened if and when the summer ended with Rory going home, but one of those reasons was that he had no idea where or how he was going to live when the time came.

“Hey,” said Rory herself as she stepped out of the bathroom, freshly showered and dressed, towel-drying her hair. “Did someone call? I thought I heard you talking.”

“I called Luke,” Jess admitted, tossing his cell on the nightstand. “He says hi, by the way.”

“How is he?” asked Rory with a smile.

“He’s good,” he told her, smiling back, not least because he realised he was using that one same word again. “Uh, he didn’t have much time to talk. Pretty sure things are never anything but crazy on the Ren Fayre circuit.”

“You’re probably right.” Rory nodded as she came to sit on the bed beside him. “Is your mom...?”

“She’s doing okay, they both are,” Jess confirmed, his arm around Rory’s shoulders as he pulled her closer and kissed her cheek.

It meant a lot that she asked too, especially since it was an awkward topic. Jess didn’t exactly make it obvious that he cared about his mom, and he had reasons enough not to, truth be told, but Rory knew he wouldn’t really want anything awful to happen to Liz. She was still his mother, when all was said and done. He never truly hated her or anything like that.

“I hope Luke won’t be away for too long,” said Rory then, dropping her towel into her lap with a sigh. “I know it’s selfish when I just upped and left the way I did, but I don’t want my mom to be by herself too much. I mean, she has the inn, and Sookie and Jackson and Davey, and Michel, and Babette and Maury, and...”

“I think you stepped on your own point about three ‘ands’ back,” Jess advised her gently.

Rory opened her mouth as if to protest before clearly realising she couldn’t.

“You’re right,” she admitted, leaning into his side. “Thank you for stopping me before I spiralled.”

“It’s what I’m here for,” he told her, pushing her damp hair aside to kiss her temple.

“I’m glad it’s not all you’re here for,” she replied, looking up at him with an expression that was unmistakable.

“Don’t know what you’re talking about,” said Jess anyway, smirking hard.

He kind of liked this side of Rory. Truth be told, he liked all the sides of her and always had, but she had this newfound confidence when it came to the whole physical side of things with them, ever since that first night. Jess was still a little in awe of the fact that she was the one to seduce him on this trip in the first place, but now, every time she got in this kind of mood, it still thrilled him. He wasn’t sure that would ever go away. He hoped not.

“Hmm,” she said against his lips, pulling back before they were all the way to horizontal. “I thought you wanted the shower when I was done,” she reminded him.

“Yeah, well,” said Jess, fingers still tangled in her freshly-washed hair. “Maybe we should’ve done our part for the environment and gone in there together.”

“Mmm, maybe we should’ve,” Rory considered, eyes darkening with lust. “Why didn’t you have this idea sooner?”

“Because apparently I’m stupid today,” Jess admitted easily, capturing her lips one more time.

Rory pulled away a few moments later, gasping in a breath. “Well, I guess it’s not possible to be too clean, right? I mean, even though I just showered, I still feel like I could be a little dirty... Oh, no!” she said then, literally facepalming. “I really just said that, didn’t I?”

“You actually did,” Jess admitted, biting his lip but finding it impossible to keep the laughter in. “And you really didn’t mean...?”

“I really didn’t, and then I heard myself, and... ugh, that was awful!”

“I’ve heard worse.”

Rory turned pink regardless, but didn’t exactly seem in a hurry to get away from him. That was always a good thing to Jess’ mind. He took the chance of kissing her again and when she melted into the moment with him, he wondered if she had completely put herself off the idea of that second shower. He really hoped not. The way she was unbuttoning his shirt suggested he was in luck.

* * *

“When the staff want to know how we got through so many towels, you’re the one who’s going to explain, mister,” Rory told Jess as she shook out her hair and added another towel to the ever-growing laundry pile.

“I didn’t exactly hear you complaining,” he said, arms wrapping around her waist from behind as he kissed her neck.

Rory felt her eyes fall shut and could so easily have given in to round two (technically, she supposed, it would have been round three, but whatever) but decided it was probably better not to. After all, they travelled all this way to actually see the sights, and as much fun as time spent alone with Jess truly was, especially in this kind of way, she did want to see more than the four walls, and moreover the ceiling, of a dingy motel room.

“Jess, there’s a whole world outside,” she reminded him, turning in his arms. “Don’t you want to see it?”

He heaved a sigh and met her eyes. “There is nothing out there that’s as good as the view from here.”

“Which is very sweet,” she admitted with a grin, “but seriously, as much fun as this is, I’d like to go out for a while. Fresh air, sunshine, places that sell food and coffee?” she tried to tempt him, knowing she was probably doing a poor job since she was really listing what she wanted more than what might appeal to him.

“I could eat, I guess,” he considered, “and you know, if we can find a decent music store, we should get some more CDs.”

“Good point.” Rory nodded, planting a kiss on his lips before moving out of his arms to get her things together so they could go.

The radio had been playing country non-stop since they got this far south, so they had worked their way through quite a large part of Jess’ CD collection when they were driving. They both admitted there were some albums that were missing and hoped to pick them up along the way, though of course, money was always an issue.

“Let’s not go too crazy with the shopping,” Rory advised, checking her purse and frowning at what she didn’t find there. “I don’t think there’s much in the way of job opportunities around here and we’re going to need to fill up again before we head on to Savannah.”

“It’ll be cool,” Jess assured her, checking his hair in the cracked mirror on the wall. “I promise, Rory, we’ll be fine for cash.”

She looked at him questioningly and wondered a little at the way he glanced away so fast. If he were anyone else, at any other time, Rory would’ve thought he was keeping something from her, but this was Jess and this was their very special honesty-filled road trip. She was sure she had nothing at all to worry about.


	11. Chapter 11

Rory couldn’t help but think her trip away with Jess had become decidedly like a honeymoon. After all, they spent almost all of their time alone together, and not a small amount of it in bed, to be truthful. They also talked about everything, from the important to the random. They read to each other, discussed all angles of books and movies and music, sometimes agreeing, mostly enjoying the challenge of disagreeing, occasionally getting into fights that required a lot of intense making up.

It was a pretty good time, all told. Rory couldn’t imagine a nicer way to spend a summer. Of course, when she thought about it that way, she remembered that it couldn’t be a permanent arrangement. Summer had to end, as all seasons did, and so would this road trip, this adventure. The honeymoon would be over eventually.

“What’s the sigh for?” asked Jess, prompting Rory to the fact she had even made a sound in the first place.

“Oh, um, nothing really,” she said, shaking her head. “I was just thinking... about this trip. About how great it is.”

“You weren’t saying that last night,” Jess reminded her with a smirk.

Rory wasn’t sure if she wanted to slap or kiss that look off his face sometimes. Probably both were true. “Last night was different,” she said defensively, fixing her eyes on the road ahead, even though he was the one that was driving.

“I did warn you against re-reading _A Good Man is Hard to Find_ on a road in Georgia when it was getting dark.”

“And I told you it was not about the book. I’m a grown woman, Jess, I was not afraid of a story that I have read at least a dozen times before.”

“Right.” Jess nodded. “You were just shaking and screaming because...?”

“Because!” Rory said sharply. “There was a bird or a bat or whatever that thing was that flew at my side of the car. It startled me. It would’ve startled you too, if it had been on your side.”

Jess didn’t say anymore, so Rory didn’t either. She knew he didn’t believe her and he had a good reason for that, because she was lying her butt off. The truth was, Flannery O’Conner’s most famous short story had always freaked her out just a little bit. Add in the fact that they were in a similar location to where the actual story was set, and in similar circumstances, all alone on a deserted road at night, and Rory had to admit that maybe it hadn’t been her smartest move. Well, she had to admit it to herself, she did not have to tell Jess that he was right.

“You do still wanna see her house, right?” he checked, glancing her way.

“Of course.” Rory nodded. “We came all this way, and hey, it’s daylight now, nothing to be afraid of,” she said definitely. “Not that I was ever afraid anyway.”

“Of course not,” Jess agreed, smirking some more.

When he looked at Rory that time, she smirked right back at him, and then she had to bite her lip so she didn’t laugh. They really were both being kind of silly, but that was okay. Better to be having fun than not.

“You know, Flannery O’Connor said that at six, she trained a chicken, and later in life she described it as the high point of her life.”

“‘Everything since has been an anti-climax’,” Jess quoted. “Kind of sad.”

“Kind of is,” Rory agreed. “I mean, shouldn’t there be more to life than training a chicken?”

“One would hope,” said Jess thoughtfully. “And shouldn’t a whole life have more than just one high point?” he considered.

“I’d like to think so.”

As they glanced at each other then, there seemed to be some silent agreement made that this was most definitely one of the high points of their lives. This trip, this reboot of their relationship, it was definitely right up there on what Rory hoped would be a long list of great moments in her life. She just worried a little about when and how it ended. She really, really didn’t want it to.

“It’s over.”

“What?” she squeaked, feeling so strange as Jess seemed to have read her mind.

“The CD,” he prompted, frowning some. “What did you think I meant?”

“I... I don’t know, I was just... thinking,” she finished lamely, shifting in the passenger seat to change the music.

“You seem to be doing a lot of that today,” Jess noted as she fumbled with a pile of jewel cases. “Rory, seriously, are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” she insisted. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

A sigh came out of Jess and then suddenly the car was moving over to the side of the road and coming to a complete stop.

“I don’t know, you tell me,” he said, pulling on the parking brake and turning in his seat to look at her. “Rory, come on. When we started this wacky road trip, I promised to be more honest with you, to actually talk, to answer any questions and to not hide things. I didn’t think I had to make you promise the same thing.”

“You don’t,” she insisted.

“Then talk to me,” he urged her. “What is going on?”

He looked worried, like really, genuinely concerned that something was seriously wrong with her and that made Rory’s gut twist. She hadn’t meant to do that. Poor Jess, he was right, he had promised to be more forthcoming and he absolutely was keeping up with that. When she asked what was on his mind, he tried to tell her, even when it was clearly tough for him. He was breaking habits of a lifetime, being open and honest pretty much all of the time. It made Rory feel like a heel for keeping things to herself, and yet, to talk about what was bothering her might just ruin everything.

“I’m sorry,” she said, eyes fixed on the CDs in her hands and lap, at least until Jess reached over and took them away from her.

“Don’t be sorry,” he told her as she looked at him. “Just tell me what’s wrong. Do you wanna go home?”

“No,” she said immediately. “No, that’s... that’s part of the problem actually,” she admitted then, tucking her hair behind her ear in a nervous gesture. “I just... I think about going back, to Yale, to Stars Hollow, and I do want to, sometimes. There are days when I miss Mom and Luke and Lane and everybody, when I can’t wait to go back and tell them everything we’ve seen and done. When I just want to talk to Paris or my grandparents or my friends at school, but...”

“But?” asked Jess, watching her intently, CDs gripped too tightly in both his hands.

“But...” Rory sighed. “I don’t know, sometimes, I also want to say, ‘To hell with it, let’s just keep driving.’ I know that would be so impractical and crazy, but this trip is just so much fun, and being with you is... Jess, you have no idea how much I missed you when you weren’t around.”

Though he had gone into this conversation terrified of where it was headed, Jess was bowled over by what Rory just said to him. He really didn’t think anything could mean as much as when she told him she loved him, but a heartfelt speech about how much she had missed him when he was gone, the idea that sometimes she would be prepared to trade her everyday life situation to be only with him, it was kind of amazing actually.

With no possible verbal answer to give to something like that, Jess could only lean forward, his hand sliding behind Rory’s neck to bring her closer and kiss her long and hard on the lips. When they parted a moment later, he met her eyes and found her a smile that came surprisingly easy right now.

“We’ll figure it out,” he promised her sincerely. “Don’t ask me how right now, but we will.”

When she smiled back at him, he wasn’t sure if she was just happy with his vow or amused by the fact that he knew just exactly what her next question would have been if he hadn’t pre-empted her. It really didn’t matter, so long as she was smiling, so long as she wasn’t worried anymore about what the future held.

“We’ll figure it out,” she echoed, nodding her head. 

“Okay then.” Jess faced forward once again and turned the key in the ignition. “You gonna pick one of these CDs already?” he said, handing the pile of albums back to Rory.

“Hey, you’re the one that took them away when I was trying to choose,” she joked, smirking as hard as he ever had while she flipped through the choices one more time.

Jess laughed at her gall but didn’t say anymore. He concentrated on getting them back on the road that led to Flannery O’Conner’s house, which really shouldn’t be too much further at this point.

Since there were no intersections for a while, no signposts to read, or much in the way of other traffic to navigate, the driving really didn’t take up much of his brain power. He found himself humming along to the CD Rory had now put on, fingers tapping absently against the steering wheel too, as Andy Partridge of XTC crooned ‘Then She Appeared.’

It was funny how that song always did remind him of Rory, not that he never told her that. She hadn’t exactly appeared as such. He was the one who turned up in Stars Hollow and disrupted her life, not the other way around, but sometimes it felt as if she just showed up in his path and turned everything around. There was no denying she was something special, a force of nature that he hadn’t been expecting, but there was never a time when he really regretted meeting her, not even when his heart was breaking over her.

Glancing across then, seeing her happily watching the scenery fly by, bopping her head to the music, Jess was sure he had never known anyone more beautiful than Rory, both inside and out. What she said about this journey ending some time and not liking the idea much, he knew exactly how she felt. If they could drive like this forever, he knew he would be perfectly happy, but despite what she said, he didn’t quite believe that it would be the same for her.

It wasn’t that Jess didn’t think Rory meant it when she said she loved him. He knew better than that, had managed to gather enough self-esteem together over the years, as well as enough belief in Rory, that he was certain it was true. Still, he was just one person, loved and adored or not, and there were a lot of people in Rory’s life. A lot that loved her and that she loved back, people she missed, even as she enjoyed this time away with him. Eventually, she was going to go back, to those people, to those places, her family and friends, her education. There was just too much on the Connecticut side of the scales to ever balance up with the Jess side. Which probably meant the only way that they could really be together was for him to make the sacrifice, to bite the bullet and say that, yes, maybe he could build a life with Rory in the place she called home.

“Jess?”

“What?” he asked, practically jumping in the driver’s seat with surprise.

“The turning,” Rory pointed out, gesturing ahead of them through the windshield. “Were you driving with your eyes closed?” she asked, grinning at her own joke.

“What, you can’t do that?” he joked right back, smiling because the look on her face was just so infectious. “Sorry, I was just thinking. Apparently, it’s a condition that’s going around,” he teased her, as he took the turning she had indicated and soon passed the sign that said the house they were looking for was just a couple more miles down that way.

“Anything specific you were thinking about?”

That was such a loaded question, though Jess had to wonder if Rory really meant for it to be. She had to realise that his mind had started wandering down the very same paths he just got her away from, but at the same time, why should she assume that? If he had managed to convince her not to worry about the future, it probably wouldn’t occur to her that he just took over the task the moment she stopped. Either way, he wasn’t prepared to lie to her.

“Just thinking about what you said, that’s all,” he said honestly, “but that’s stupid, so I’ll stop, okay?”

“Okay,” Rory agreed, smiling again when she glanced his way. “You know, whatever we do decide to do when... well, when the time comes,” she said diplomatically, “this will always be the best summer of my life. You know that, right?”

Jess nodded his head. “I know,” he promised her. “Mine too. Pretty sure that everything after is going to be an anti-climax.”


	12. Chapter 12

Rory woke up to sun shining in between the blinds, hitting her right between the eyes. She shied away from the too bright light, turning over and finding empty space on the other side of the bed. The realisation had her suddenly very awake and alert. She sat up fast and looked around the room, feeling strange when she noted that Jess wasn’t anywhere around. The adjoining bathroom door was wide open, so he wasn’t in there either.

Reaching for her watch to check the time, she realised there was a note perched behind it on the nightstand, her name penned on the paper in familiar handwriting.

‘Morning sunshine,  
I woke up early and thought I’d take a walk.  
I promise I’ll bring coffee when I come back.  
Love, Jess.’

Smiling widely, Rory let herself flop back against the pillows with a contented sigh. It didn’t get much better than this, waking up to blue skies and sunshine, and a note from her boyfriend who was fetching her sweet java nectar. The only thing that might have been better was if Jess had actually been there already, and as if summoned purely by her force of will, he walked in the door.

“It’s like _I Dream of Jeannie_ or something,” she said, more to herself than to him, though of course Jess heard and made a face that proved he was confused. “I wished you were here and, hey presto!” Rory explained.

“Huh. I wondered how I got from the corner store to here so fast,” Jess deadpanned, handing a to-go cup to Rory and dropping a white paper bag onto the bed before climbing onto the empty side next to her.

“Ooh, Danishes!” Rory exclaimed happily, almost spilling her precious coffee in her rush to get into the bag. “Did I mention you are the best boyfriend ever?” she asked Jess as she made her pick and handed him the bag so he could take the other pastry.

“I think that you did,” Jess said, seeming to consider it very seriously. “Wasn’t it last night? I seem to remember we weren’t wearing any clothes at the time...”

“Shut up!” Rory giggled, slugging him in the shoulder.

“Hey, I’m just recalling the events as I saw them.”

Rory rolled her eyes and dug into her pastry, though it really was tough to keep the smile off her face. Waking up like this never did get old. In fact, there was very little about this summer vacation that she could find to complain about. Sure, it would be nice not to have to work just to have enough money for food, gas, and motel rooms, but just lately, they even got away with very little of that.

Apparently, Luke had been more than generous in his donation to their road trip fund. Rory planned to give him a huge hug when she got home for all his kindness. Of course, the moment she thought about going home, she had to shake herself and not think about it too much. It led to no good.

“So, what are we doing today?” she asked instead, looking to Jess for an answer and realising he had just taken a really big bite of pastry, so couldn’t answer her immediately.

“You did that on purpose,” he accused her playfully when there was finally enough room in his mouth for words to come out.

“I honestly didn’t.” Rory giggled. “But before you take another bite, a plan, please?”

“You tell me, you’re the navigation officer.” Jess shrugged, putting a much smaller piece of his Danish into his mouth this time. “I mean, I don’t see the point in hanging around here much longer. What’s the next place you wanted to see?”

“It’s not all about places _I_ want to see,” Rory reminded him, leaning over to retrieve her pile of maps from the nightstand.

They were a little more crinkled and dog-eared than they had started out in Boston, but then, they did get a lot of use. Rory had them out in the car to give Jess any necessary directions, but even at whatever motel or hotel they were staying at, they tended to get unfurled on a fairly regular basis so she could work out the route to the next place or just daydream about places to go someday, if not on this trip.

“I guess it would make most sense to head this way,” she said now as she gestured up from Georgia, back towards the north-east.

“But?” Jess prompted when she fell quiet. “Rory, if you wanna go home...”

“I don’t,” she said fast, maybe too fast to be convincing she realised with a sigh. “Jess, I really am not ready for this trip to be over yet, not at all, and since I still have almost as much summer vacation left as we already used up... well, until we really have to go back, I wanna go forward, if that makes sense.”

Rory wasn’t sure what she expected him to say to that, not least because she hadn’t explained it well at all. Jess had a fun habit of seeming to know what she meant, even when Rory knew herself that she didn’t always phrase it well, especially when her feelings overtook her extensive vocabulary. Still, this one might be a stretch.

“I get it,” he told her, shifting closer and planting a quick kiss, licking the transferred pastry crumbs from his own lips and smiling. “For what it’s worth, I am all for going forward from here... even if we did loop back on ourselves a couple of times already in this trip,” he noted, literally pointing it out on the map.

“That was not entirely my fault,” she reminded him, poking out her tongue. “But it’s fine, we’ll head north now. North- _west_ ,” she clarified. “Onward to the next target.”

“You make it sound like we’re hitting banks or something.” Jess laughed, even as Rory sat up in bed and reached for her highlighter to mark out the best route for where she wanted to go to next. “What’s the plan, Bonnie?”

“Illinois, Clyde,” she said easily continuing the bit. “It’ll be a long drive, but if we share the miles, we can probably be there in a couple of days.”

“Illinois,” Jess echoed, leaning over to see what she was doing and absently kissing her shoulder. “What’s there that you so desperately wanna see all of a sudden?”

Rory smiled as she glanced at him. “Oak Park.”

It was funny to watch Jess’ eyes widen to the point of practically rolling out of his head when she said that.

“Seriously?” he checked. “You wanna go see the birthplace of Hemingway?”

“Not really,” she confessed easily, “but I know _you_ would love it. Besides,” she continued, setting the map aside awhile, along with the bag that held the Danishes and everything else, “I heard that Ernest only had lovely things to say about me.”

“Oh, yeah?” Jess checked as she moved closer.

“That’s what this guy told me,” she said, grinning up at him. “You think he was just saying that to get ahead?”

Jess slowly shook his head. “Nope,” he said, leaning down to kiss Rory and taking her breath away in the best way, just as she had hoped he would.

* * *

They were coming up on the border to Tennessee when they had to make a pitstop. Not only was the dial on the dash showing the gas was going down rapidly but Rory admitted she was desperate for both salty snacks and use of a bathroom, not necessarily in that order. Since there was a line for both facilities, Rory joined the one that would allow her to be more comfortable, while Jess filled up the tank then headed into the store for snacks and drinks.

Clearly, his line moved faster somehow, because when he came out to go back to the car, he saw that Rory had only just gotten in through the bathroom door. Shaking his head at how ridiculous that seemed, Jess climbed back into the car and immediately looked around for where the music was coming from. That sure as hell was not a song he would have on his cell, which meant it had to be Rory’s phone. It was sitting there on the passenger seat, clearly having fallen out of her bag, and Jess didn’t think it was too big of a deal just to pick it up and answer.

“Oh my God, what took you so long? No, actually, please don’t tell me, since it probably involved making out with your boyfriend.”

Jess wasn’t sure if he felt more awkward or amused when he heard those words in Lorelai’s familiar tone. Clearing his throat, he put on his best voice when he finally spoke himself. “Rory’s phone, the boyfriend speaking.”

There was a long pause before Lorelai spoke again. “Hey, Jess. How’re things?”

She sounded overly chipper and was clearly at least a little embarrassed. Jess took pity on her in the circumstances and said no more about it.

“I’m good. You?”

“Pretty good too.” 

“Cool.”

“I’d say so.”

With the niceties out of the way, Jess was hoping Lorelai was going to say something else, like maybe saying she would call back later to talk to Rory or just giving Jess a message to pass on. She did neither and the silence grew uncomfortable.

“So, is Luke home yet?” Jess asked, sure his uncle would’ve let him know by now if he was, but it was something to say at least.

“Not yet,” Lorelai confirmed, “but last I talked to him, he thought he could be back as soon as next week so, you know, yay.”

“You miss him.”

“I do. I also miss Rory.”

Jess bit his tongue, knowing any response he gave to that would be the wrong one. Honestly, he wasn’t sure if Lorelai meant to be accusatory or if she was just stating a fact. He wasn’t prepared to guess, much less ask the question.

“And I just realised how that sounded.” Lorelai suddenly sighed in his ear. “Jess, I wasn’t... I don’t want you to think that was a dig at you, okay? I’m not blaming you or even holding you responsible for Rory being away on this trip. I mean, yes, okay, you did ask her to go, it was your idea, but she is a grown up and she made her decision. Besides, I don’t know if she told you what I said before when we talked about all this, but I do understand, you know? I mean, hell, I was young once and frankly, made poorer decisions than you guys in a lot of ways. Hello, pregnant at fifteen-”

“Lorelai,” Jess dared to cut in, sure she was going to ramble so much and so fast before long that she actually caused herself to pass out. “It’s cool, okay? I mean, I don’t know exactly what Rory told you about what I said either but... I get it. I get that you wanted to protect her and that I was not the greatest boyfriend she could’ve had, but things are different now.”

“I get that,” Lorelai assured him, seeming to breathe a sigh of relief, maybe because he confirmed what she thought she knew, maybe because she was glad to know he understood where she was coming from too. “So, you guys are still enjoying your whole rambling across the country thing?”

“Pretty much,” Jess told her, turning to see Rory retuning to the car at last. “Uh, I’ll let your daughter give you the details. Hold on a sec,” he said, starting to pull the phone away from his ear, until he heard his name called.

“Um, just be safe out there, okay?” said Lorelai awkwardly, sounding suspiciously like she cared and perhaps about more than just Rory. “You know, that car is super-cool but not the newest and you have some pretty precious cargo in it.”

“Trust me, I know,” he said with a smile he couldn’t help. “I’ll take care of... everything,” he said just as Rory slid into the passenger seat beside him, a look of mild confusion on her face. “Here’s Rory,” he said then, holding out her cell. “Lorelai,” he said softly in explanation, amused by the way her eyes widened as she took hold of the phone and started talking to her mom.

Jess decided just to start the car and get back to driving. Rory had said she would take a few miles later in the day, but right now, he wasn’t so tired he couldn’t carry on. Besides, for maybe the first time since they set out on this trip, Jess didn’t feel so weird about being within earshot of a conversation between the Gilmore girls. Things certainly could change a lot in just a few weeks.


	13. Chapter 13

“You know, I may not love his books, but I respect his work as a journalist, however brief. Apparently, he relied on the style guide of _The Kansas City Star_ \- where he worked as a cub reporter before the war - as a foundation for his writing.”

Jess smiled at Rory’s sudden knowledge on Hemingway, not daring to ask how and why she had it. Instead he recalled that style guide she was talking about, a quote he had read numerous times when looking into good old Ernest himself.

“‘Use short sentences. Use short first paragraphs. Use vigorous English. Be positive, not negative.’”

“I’ve actually been trying that in some of my pieces for the _Yale Daily News_ ,” Rory told him, as they both continued to stare up at the boyhood home of the man they spoke of. “Doyle has paid some pretty nice compliments to those very pieces.”

“You do know that you don’t have to love Hemingway for me, right?” Jess checked with a smirk, his arm going around her shoulders and pulling her closer.

“Hey, lose the fat-head, mister,” Rory told him teasingly, even as she kissed his cheek. “I do what I have to for my future journalism career. I almost forgot you even liked Hemingway.”

She was grinning when she said it and they both knew what a big fat lie it was. After all, just the other day, she was the one quoting something significant Jess had said about Hemingway way back before they were even together. She remembered very well, just as he recalled her impassioned speech about the wonder of Ayn Rand’s _The Fountainhead_.

They both recalled almost a little too much about their many literary debates as well as a hundred other moments they shared in their time as first friends and then more. There were certain parts Jess actually wished he didn’t remember, though he wasn’t aware his expression made that obvious until Rory called him on it.

“That’s not a happy look,” she said, her own smile fading. “Should we not have come here? I thought I was making a nice gesture, and I was just kidding about not remembering-”

“Rory, stop,” he urged her gently. “I’m fine, I’m just... Sometimes, I just wish I had been in a better place when we first met is all,” he said eventually, unsure how better to phrase it than that.

She stared at him for a long moment and then slowly shook her head. “I don’t,” she admitted, before seeming to reconsider. “Well, I do, for you. I mean, it would’ve been better if you had been happier. I hate how sad and angry you were with the world, because I just wanted good things for you, but life doesn’t work that way. Besides, if you hadn’t been just exactly the way you were back then, we might not be here now, and that would be bad,” she said, finding her smile again. “‘Now is no time to think of what you do not have. Think of what you can do with what there is.’”

Never in a million years would Jess had thought he might hear Rory quoting _The Old Man and the Sea_ , and whether he inspired her to know the work well enough like that, he would never know. He certainly wasn’t about to ask. He just loved her all the more for saying what she just said, and for more reasons than she probably realised, as he kissed her firmly on the lips.

“So,” he said as they parted, “we saw Ernest’s birthplace and the museum, and the place he grew up. Anywhere else you wanna go around here? We could head into Chicago proper, if you want?”

“It’ll just be expensive and loud.” Rory shook her head. “You know me, I like the smaller, homier places,” she said happily as they started to walk along. “Actually, there are lots more places to see in Oak Park itself. Edgar Rice Burroughs lived here a long time, in a couple of different houses.”

“Okay.” Jess nodded. “We can do the Tarzan tour,” he said with a smirk, watching Rory gleefully refer to the information she had been referencing for their trip, not just maps but pieces from guide books, and print outs from internet searches she made in libraries along the way.

“Correction, he had _three_ houses here,” she said eventually. “Right this way,” she told him, gesturing down the street a ways with one hand, her other one reaching to take a hold of Jess’ own and interlinking their fingers. “You know, there’s talk that Disney are going to make a movie of John Carter, based largely on _The Princess of Mars_.”

“Wow. So, that’s probably gonna suck.”

“Exactly. I mean, I am all for books being translated into movies, but seriously, do it right, or don’t do it at all! You know, I was so excited when I heard they were making _Tuck Everlasting_ a few years ago, but did you see what they did to Winnie Foster’s character...?”

* * *

It had been a long day of walking around, but the sights to see had been so interesting that even Rory almost forgot she was hungry when lunch-time rolled around. By the time the hour got late, and she and Jess needed to find someplace to stay for the night, she was frankly starving. After they threw their stuff into a half-decent motel, she pretty much dragged him into the first restaurant she saw and insisted they eat immediately.

Thankfully, the place wasn’t too expensive, after all, funds were starting to dwindle again, the majority of their cash having been used as gas money to get them from Georgia to Illinois. They were probably going to have to look into getting some work in the next few days before they chose someplace else to travel to for fun, but for tonight, at least, they could relax a little.

“Feel better now?” Jess asked her as she polished off the last spoonful of dessert and sighed happily.

“So much better!” Rory declared with a grin. “I don’t think I’ve actually been that hungry in a while,” she realised, leaning back in her seat with a satisfied feeling of fullness.

It was only then, as her eyes travelled around the dining establishment, that she realised it had kind of a weird arrangement of tables. She hadn’t noticed when they came in, she was so concentrated on getting seated and ordering all of the food, but now that she looked, Rory noted the larger open area on the other side of the dining room. Shortly after that, she realised that most of the people in the place were markedly older than the two of them.

“Uh, Jess?” she asked, leaning forward across the table and lowering her voice. “Is it my imagination or are we bringing down the average age in this place by at least a couple of decades?”

“Huh. You noticed that too?” he said, looking briefly left then right, before leaning in the same way Rory was and speaking in similarly hushed tones. “You think they all started out our age and just decided to pull a collective Miss Havisham?”

Rory giggled. “Seems unlikely, but it is a little strange,” she considered, taking another look around. “You think they have really good discounts for older people?”

Jess shook his head. “I don’t know, that’s usually for seniors. Pretty sure there are more people from our parents’ generation than our grandparents in here.”

Before Rory had a chance to make any more suggestions about the demographics of the restaurant’s patrons, a voice suddenly came over a loud speaker system, making her jump. She and Jess both looked up as the announcer guy introduced a band that neither of them had noticed and then invited couples to ‘take to the floor.’

“Oh my God!” Rory gasped, her hand actually coming up to cover her mouth as many older men and women rose from their seats, revealing that they were predominately dressed in tuxes and long dresses.

“Aw, geez,” Jess exclaimed, turning away from the scene as the couple took each other in their arms and began waltzing.

The look on his face combined with the shock of realising what kind of place they had stumbled into made Rory burst into fits of giggles. They could not be more out of place, dressed in street clothes and at least a generation or two younger than every other person in the place. She really should have paid more attention when they walked in, but it was a little late now.

“You wanna get out of here?” asked Jess in a low voice.

Rory opened her mouth to say yes, but then suddenly changed her mind, her eyes looking over his shoulder, following one of the couples as they glided across the floor.

“Actually, we could stay a while,” she said softly, with a smile she couldn’t control. “Mostly, I don’t think I could move yet, not after all that food, and honestly, this is... weirdly nice. I mean, look at them,” she said, gesturing until Jess turned to see. “They look so... elegant. I love dresses like that, but they’re not exactly practical unless you’re actually going to dance, which usually means going to _a_ dance, like Prom or something.”

The moment she saw Jess wince, even in profile, she knew she said the wrong thing. Rory should not have mentioned prom, not to him, but it was a little late when it had already been said.

A part of her wanted to say she was sorry for bringing it up, and yet, at the same time, Rory wondered why she should. They had agreed not to keep apologising for all the stuff that happened back then, but she didn’t want to get into the habit of doing it for new things either, not when they really shouldn’t matter anymore.

“You know, that was one of the things I felt the worst about after I was gone?” Jess sighed. “Actually, I started feeling pretty bad before I left. I think it was one of the biggest reasons why I decided to get out of your life, you know, before I did any more damage.”

“Jess.” Rory sighed, reaching out to him. “We agreed that we both did things wrong the first time around, no more apologies necessary.”

“I wasn’t apologising,” he pointed out, shaking his head, staring hard at her hand atop his own on the table between them. “I probably should, but I just... I need you to know that I really, really wanted to take you to Prom, Rory,” he told her then, glancing up to meet her gaze. “And you look shocked,” he noted, “because you know I am not that guy. I’m not saying I wanted to go for me, but I really wanted to go for you. You were just so excited to go to that thing, and you kept talking about your dress and all your plans with Lane and... and how amazing you thought it’d be to walk into that stupid decorated school gym on my arm. That part made the least sense to me of any of it, but I did wanna do it, Rory. For you, I did.”

“But you couldn’t,” she said, swallowing hard as she felt emotions creeping up on her she so didn’t want escaping in the middle of a busy restaurant. “Because you weren’t graduating.”

Jess nodded his head. “When Principal Merten told me that, I knew I had really screwed up. I did everything to convince him to let me get those tickets and when he wouldn’t... I don’t know, it’s stupid, but that felt like the last straw, you know? I messed up the one thing you wanted, that was so important to you.”

“It wasn’t so important,” Rory insisted, though the look on Jess’ face told her he didn’t believe it. “Okay, so it _was_ important, but it’s not now,” she tried instead. “It was painful, in a way, but what was worse was you being gone. Jess, we can’t get Prom back, that’s gone, it’s done, but you and me? We’re getting another chance at us and that is so much more important. I mean, isn’t it?”

He met her eyes again then, that dark, intense gaze that she loved so much, that she was pretty sure had hypnotised her on the first day they met and never entirely cut her loose.

“It is,” he said eventually, so quietly that Rory was sure she wouldn’t have heard if they weren’t so close, especially with the music getting louder all the time. “And you’re right, we can’t get Prom back, but... I guess I could at least ask you to dance?” he said, that old familiar smirk tugging at his lips.

“Are you kidding?” Rory asked, eyes widening with surprise.

“You don’t want me to keep feeling bad about Prom, right?” he checked, getting to his feet and moving closer, holding out his hand for her. “Dance with me, and then we’ll put that whole mess behind us. Deal?”

Rory could hardly believe that he was asking her to dance, especially here and now. Jess really wasn’t big on making a fool of himself in public and they were going to look very strange, wearing regular clothes and attempting to waltz amongst so many dressed up, older people who clearly knew what they were doing. Still, she wanted to do this, for Jess, for herself. Crazy as it sounded, right now, it was all she wanted to do.

“Okay,” she said, placing her hand in Jess’ own and getting to her feet.

Trailing behind him, Rory followed her partner to the dance floor and knew she was blushing as he pulled her into his arms, taking up the position to begin the waltz.

“Do you even know how to do this?” Rory asked, biting her lip.

“It’s just one-two-three, right?” said Jess, shrugging like it was no big deal.

Then they were off, turning around the floor with all the other couples, only stumbling a couple of times, and thankfully, not bumping into anyone else in the process. Rory was laughing before long, but the humour went right out of the situation once they found their rhythm.

It was so strange, Rory had done a lot of things with Jess, a lot of really, really intimate things that ran the gamut from kissing to sex and a fair few other activities in-between, but somehow, nothing felt like dancing with him.

“What?” he asked her after a while, presumably noticing the look on her face that had to have become pretty dreamy.

“Nothing,” she insisted, despite the fact that wasn’t entirely true. “I was just thinking that this is really special and... and just that I love you, Jess.”

He smiled at that, twirling her out and back into his arms, just as the music came to an end.

“I love you too, Rory.”

Then they were both leaning in until their lips finally met in a kiss. They barely heard the applause and cheers from the people around them. As was so often the case, they only had eyes for each other.


	14. Chapter 14

“It’s a little place outside of Des Moines. We’re actually on our way to Missouri to see the Kansas City Public Library but... well, we have to have money to put gas in the car and, you know, for the important stuff like food and shelter.”

“Wow, you really are having a serious adventure, and with Jess Mariano, of all people.”

Rory wondered if she should be offended by the way Lane spoke about her and Jess, but she wasn’t. After all, Rory was well aware of everybody else’s opinion on their relationship, especially as it had been in the beginning. There was no way to blame Lorelai or Lane or anyone else who loved Rory for caring about her being in a potentially bad relationship, and nobody could deny that things were not entirely healthy between her and Jess the first time around. It was just that things were so different now and that was tough to explain to others who had yet to see it for themselves.

“You think I’m crazy, don’t you?” she said with a sigh. “You think this whole adventure, me going off with Jess, it’s just the dumbest thing you ever heard.”

“Of course not,” Lane insisted, actually sounding pretty convincing. “Rory, you know I just want you to be happy, and if Jess and this trip are making you happy, then I am fully in support of that.”

“But?” Rory prompted, sure there had to be one, knowing she was right when she heard her friend sigh in defeat in her ear.

“But... well, as much as I was always pretty sure you were in love with Jess, and as much as you guys had in common and everything, he did... he did hurt you in the end. He didn’t always treat you the way he should and then he left without even saying goodbye, and yes, I know, he’s changed, you told me that and I do believe you, but... you’re my best friend, Rory. I just worry about you, that’s all.”

“And I love that you do.” Rory smiled, unable to help it. “You know I care about what happens with you too, and when Mrs Kim found out about your real life and you moved in with the guys, I was worried for you, but you’re fine. You’re doing so well and you’re so happy, even though it seemed kind of unlikely for a while there.”

“That’s true,” Lane agreed. “I guess things change, people change.”

“Yes, they do. Jess has changed, Lane, he really has. I mean, not in a way that... I mean, he’s still him. He still has all the things about him that I liked in the first place, but he’s grown up, I guess. We both have, and boy, did we ever need to! We talk more now, about things that matter. Let’s face it, alone on the road together so much, we kind of don’t get a choice” she said with a chuckle, even though she wasn’t entirely joking. “Things are so good, Lane. I promise, they are.”

“Then I am so happy for you,” her friend promised. “Seriously, Rory, I really am. Although, I admit, I am really missing you this summer. Stars Hollow is not the same without you!”

“Aww, I miss you too. Although, I have to be honest, this trip is pretty amazing. I never thought I would get to see so many iconic places, and yes, the working in-between isn’t exactly fun, but I actually think it’s a good thing. You know, preparing me for the adult world? College doesn’t last forever and then it’s going to be work, work, work.”

Rory looked up on hearing Jess snigger, though his eyes never left the book he was reading. Not that she was convinced he was paying all that much attention to the words on the page. She had thought her conversation with Lane would be of no interest, but it hadn’t bothered her when he came back into the room from the bathroom a few minutes ago. They had no secrets, she wasn’t worried about him hearing anything she was telling Lane (though the girl-talk portion that revolved around certain naked activities was covered quickly while Jess was out of the way). He did seem to find her talk about work amusing though and boy were they ever going to discuss that later.

“Well, I should go. Speaking of work, I’m supposed to be at the diner in ten minutes.”

“Oh, okay. Is Luke back yet?”

“He’s due back tomorrow,” Lane confirmed. “It will be so great to see him. It’s weird, but I’ve really kind of missed him too,” she admitted, before she and Rory said their goodbyes and hung up from their call.

“Okay, Mr Chuckles,” Rory said then, tossing her cell on the nightstand and coming to stand by the bed with her hands on her hips. “What was so funny about me talking about work?”

“Nothing,” said Jess, glancing at her just briefly before going back to his book.

Rory frowned, reached forward and plucked the dog-eared copy of Kerouac’s On the Road from his hands. “No, sorry, not a good enough answer,” she said, not even caring how indignant Jess chose to look about the stealing of his novel. “I told Lane that working this summer is preparing me for the real-world, post-Yale, and you seemed to think that was hilarious.”

“Not hilarious.” Jess shook his head as he finally gave her his full attention. “Sometimes, you just have a weird view of the world is all.”

“A weird view?” Rory frowned all the harder as she sat down hard on the end of the bed. “Weird as in wrong?”

“No,” said Jess, rolling his eyes as he shifted closer to her. “Why would you just assume I meant wrong? Come on, Ror, you know as well as I do that your life has been kind of... sheltered. When you talk about the real world, it’s like it’s this other place that you can’t even imagine. It’s weird for me. I mean, the stuff we’ve seen, the stuff we’ve _done_ ,” he said pointedly. “You’re already an adult and you’re already in the real world. It’s just crazy to me that you can’t see that. The second you talk to your mom or Lane or whoever, it’s like you want to be this little kid from a small town who doesn’t know anything about the world, when I know you actually do.”

It felt as if she should argue the points he was making, though Rory wasn’t sure why. Jess wasn’t really criticising her, as far as she could tell, it was just an observation that he had made, and she couldn’t exactly tell him he was wrong. It was only that she felt so different talking to the people back home, thinking about her ‘real life’, than she did when she was with him on this road trip. It was like two different worlds and she was almost two different people. Rory supposed she just hadn’t thought about the consequences of that very much yet, of how much more awkward it was going to make her life and the decisions she had to make in the long-term.

“If there are two versions of me,” she said after some consideration, her hand covering Jess’ own on the bed between them, “then you should know that both of them love you so much. That’s kind of a universal Rory thing,” she admitted, feeling strangely shy when she looked at him then.

“Good to know.” Jess nodded, smiling her way and making her feel better in an instant. “You know I’m not asking you to change, right? That’s not-”

“I get it,” Rory promised. “I honestly do,” she swore as they met each other’s eyes and both smiled, his hand turning over to intertwine his fingers with her own.

“That’s good.”

“I think so.”

Then he was pulling her closer and she was going all too willingly into his arms and meeting his kiss. He said he didn’t want her to change, or at least that he wasn’t asking her to, but Rory already knew she wasn’t the same person who left Stars Hollow so many weeks ago now. She didn’t really want Jess to change either, though in some ways he had needed to and had made an effort to make it happen.

It bothered Rory just a little that her new self wasn’t exactly going to fit into her old life anymore. Even as she and Jess rolled around together on the bed in something akin to bliss, there was a niggling worry in the back of her mind, because she knew this couldn’t last forever.

She still craved the comfort of home, the challenge of Yale, the future journalism career that had been beckoning her onwards her whole life, but now, she wanted this too. She wanted Jess, a real adult relationship, plus adventure and fun and being a little crazy sometimes. Rory knew no one person could have it all and it scared her to think that someday soon, in the not-so-distant future, she was going to have to make the hard choices and give up some of things she wanted most. That was not going to be easy at all.

* * *

“There is something so wrong about the best part of a library being the parking garage,” said Jess thoughtfully as he and Rory stared up at the enormous bookshelf-style display, featuring larger-than-life tomes by Ralph Ellison, Langston Hughes, J.R.R. Tolkien, and many others. Each book’s spine was 25 feet tall and 9 feet wide, which made it pretty impressive to see. Still, Jess stood by his original statement. The contents of a library, all the real books, should be more of a draw than this. Unfortunately, he had to admit, he was pretty impressed anyway.

“Come on,” Rory said, pulling on his hand. “Let’s prove we’re better than most tourists and go see the wonders of the _inside_ of the Kansas City Public Library,” she urged him.

Not that it took much in the way of encouragement for him to follow Rory just about anywhere she wanted to take him. Maybe that made Jess a fool, but he liked to think he had made a good choice when he chose to be with her. It still amazed him sometimes that she actually chose him too, but here they were. If there was a problem with Rory and Jess, it wasn’t a lack of love or affection between them, not even concerns about commitment issues, which they both seemed to have finally overcome.

The real issue came when they reached the end of this trip they were on, when time ran out on them, and Rory needed to go back to that ‘real life’ they had been talking about before. It was coming up fast and Jess was all too aware of it. After all, a twelve week break seemed like a long time when you were a kid and wasn’t exactly short when you were an adult either, but with a little over eight of those weeks already having sped on by, the end of this trip and the romance it represented was very much in view. Jess really wished it wasn’t.

“I mean, I’ve been in big libraries before, but this is... I think I could die here and be totally happy.”

“Please don’t,” Jess urged Rory with a smile he was glad to realise she completely bought, presumably because she was too distracted by all the books to notice what a lie it was.

It was the one topic they still didn’t talk about. Rory would encourage Jess to be honest about his feelings, what he was thinking, his opinions on just about everything, good or bad. She tried to be open too, and all the communication was definitely helping them to be better together, for their relationship to be stronger, and yet. When it came to what happened when Summer became Fall and real life beckoned, they barely mentioned it in passing. They certainly never had any kind of serious talk about it.

It would be the sensible, adult thing to do, but any time Jess felt himself itching to bring it up, to rip off the Band Aid and just let the truth be spoken, he wussed out and changed the subject. He figured Rory was no more keen to think about it than he was, since she never brought it up herself, though whether that was because she had to give him bad news or just dreaded his reaction to any ideas she had about the future, he couldn’t guess.

“Jess?”

When she said his name then, he actually had to shake himself to get back to reality.

“Sorry,” he said, blinking at her. “I was-”

“A million miles away from this amazing library,” said Rory, frowning some. “What is it? Are you just over-tired? Because I did say I could take over driving-”

“Rory, stop,” Jess urged her gently, taking a hold of both her hands that were waving around wildly up to that point. “I’m fine, okay? I just... I guess I was just thinking about where we go from here and... and how long it’ll be before we have to turn back around. You know, head back North East?”

He should feel better for having said it, but the pain that flashed across Rory’s face wasn’t comforting. Sure, it was nice to think she was no more eager to go home than he was keen to take her, but Jess wouldn’t deliberately hurt her for the world, and the very last thing he wanted was to spoil the time they did have left this summer.

“We have more than three weeks before Yale is in session again,” she reminded him, leaning in closer and lowering her voice to a whisper when she realised she was disturbing other people from their reading. “I figure we can spend at least another two just doing what we’ve been doing and then... and then, if we have to think about going back, we will. Okay?”

Jess met her eyes and saw the pleading within the bright blue depths. She clearly did not want to get into this now and neither did he, to be honest. Putting off the inevitable seemed so foolish. Real adults would talk things through now, make a plan, follow it through. Of course, technically, Liz was a real adult, as was Jimmy, and Luke and Lorelai too. None of them could really be accused of making smart decisions in some of their most important romantic relationships. Maybe there was no one way to do this stuff. No single absolute, concrete, correct solution existed.

“Jess?” Rory prompted, looking a little worried yet.

He found her a smile as he tucked her hair behind her ear and leaned in to plant a kiss on her cheek.

“Since most of this trip has been about seeing new places and doing new things, were you planning on reading something you never read before in here, or did you just wanna see how long we can make out in the stacks before they throw us out for indecent behaviour?” he asked, with a devious expression.

Rory looked vaguely scandalised and then she laughed. “Hmm, how about both?”


	15. Chapter 15

They worked in and around Kansas City for a few days. On the one hand, it felt a little like wasting time, but on the other, if they wanted to go out with a bang on this trip, Rory and Jess both knew they were going to need some serious cash. Waiting tables, washing dishes, passing out flyers, they did it all and then some, working for most of the day and spending any spare time conserving their money by staying in their crappy motel room, enjoying pleasurable pursuits together that cost nothing, barely noticing the peeling wallpaper and noisy neighbours at all.

“Are you really sure about driving so far?” asked Rory from within the circle of Jess’ arms, the room dark and the hour late, and yet somehow, neither had fallen asleep yet. “It’s not even like it’s just over the border, we’re talking deep in the heart of Texas here.”

Jess chuckled at the way she said it and kissed her temple. “I’m sure,” he promised without pause. “You really wanna see the Menger Hotel, so we’re gonna see the Menger Hotel.”

“Thank you,” Rory replied, trying to snuggle further into his arms, even though such a feat was practically impossible given their current position.

There were a hundred other things in her head that she meant to say, that she almost wanted to get off her chest, but she kept them all in. It wasn’t smart and Rory knew it, but spilling it all out now, it just wasn’t the right time. It was never the right time lately for anything but spending every moment that they weren’t working just revelling in the fact they were still together.

Perhaps she should have paid heed to the fact this all felt so dangerously familiar. Back in Stars Hollow, when she and Jess dated the first time around, they had so easily fallen into a pattern of skipping the important talking part of their relationship in favour of making out. Communication fell by the way side and nothing was ever discussed or resolved, their romance becoming terribly unhealthy until finally Jess had run away and Rory had pretended she didn’t even care he was gone.

Here they were again, making love not war, that was true, but not talking, not being honest about how they were feeling, barely communicating about anything that really mattered. Rory knew it was wrong, but she didn’t know how to fix it. Saying anything about how this story ended, it seemed as if it could only bring the painful conclusion around that much sooner. She just wasn’t ready for that yet.

“I was thinking,” said Jess then, and Rory held her breath waiting for him to go on, wondering if they really had gotten close enough in the last few weeks that he could actually read her mind or something, “on the way to San Antonio, there’s somewhere in Oklahoma I wanted to see.”

“Uh-huh,” said Rory vaguely, unsure if she was disappointed or relieved that travel plans were all that was on his mind. “Where did you want to go?”

Jess didn’t answer for a minute and Rory tipped her head back to look at him, squinting in the dark in an attempt to make out his expression, but it didn’t come easy. “You know Wilson Rawls was born there. The library in Tahlequah is dedicated to him.”

“I did not know that.” Rory shook her head slightly. “But we can absolutely go there, if you wanna see it.”

There was another strange pause before Jess nodded his agreement. “I do.”

“Jess? Are you okay?” she checked, shifting away from him a little until her elbow was on the pillow and her head was propped on her hand. “You seem... thoughtful.”

“Wow, never been told that before,” Jess deadpanned, though a withering glance from Rory seemed to do the trick in putting a stop to his evasive sarcasm before it really started. “You’ve read _Summer of the Monkeys_ , right?” he asked, glancing away.

“Sure, once,” Rory agreed. “I’m more of a _Where The Red Ferns Grow_ girl myself, but I definitely read that one too. Why?”

They were just a second ago talking about going to the author’s birthplace so his question wasn’t surprising in that respect, but Rory couldn’t imagine why Jess seemed so weirdly serious and strange about this guy and the only two novels he ever had published.

“First time I read _Summer of the Monkeys_ , I was nine years old,” he told her then, the slightest of smiles pulling at his lips as he seemed to stare into the past while he told her the tale. “We were in this really, really crappy apartment in New York. The last one had been better, but it came with a guy that... well, let’s just say he didn’t have much respect for Liz and he really didn’t like me,” he explained, a shadow passing over his face that made Rory shiver more than a bit. “Anyway, we got out of there, into this real dive of a place, but that never mattered much to me anyway. So long as I had somewhere to be, out of the cold and the rain, and a book in my hand, I could deal.”

“Sounds familiar.” Rory smiled, knowing she could always find comfort in the pages of her favourite novels when the world got tough.

Not that she ever went through the kinds of terrible things she knew haunted Jess’ childhood memories, but the principle was the same. She only wished she could make it easier for him now, make it so it wasn’t so hard for him to talk or even think about the past. He was clearly struggling now and yet determined to go on, which made Rory more than a little emotional. She had always wanted Jess to share more and, lately, on this trip, he really was making the most supreme effort. She couldn’t love him any more than she already did, she was sure, but if it were possible, these kinds of moments would be the ones that made it happen.

“We never had money, or we did, but Liz had a habit of blowing it on stuff to make her feel better, you know?” Jess went on to explain. “Anyway, the library was free, so I always had books, just nothing I was allowed to keep. Then I get this birthday card in the mail, I’m pretty sure it was from Luke, but honestly, I don’t remember that part so clearly. All I know is there was money inside, a twenty-dollar bill, and Lizzy didn’t know I had it. I could’ve bought food or a new jacket or something useful. I probably should have too, but walking into that book store, knowing I could buy something for myself...” he stopped a moment, cleared his throat before he could go on.

Rory reached for him with her free hand, entwined her fingers with his own and held on tight as he continued.

“Anyway, I got a couple of other things, I don’t even remember what they were, but I remember _Summer of the Monkeys_. I read that thing at least eight times, one after the other, and I don’t even know why. I mean, it’s a good book, but I was obsessed. I think maybe it was just because it was really mine, you know?”

“I know.” Rory nodded, unwilling to say more, unwilling hardly to move or breathe as she waited for Jess to go on.

“You know, later I found out Rawls was a motivational speaker, and that when he was younger he’d been in and out of jail and had a pretty bad time... and I thought, ‘Hey, if this guy can make something of himself, there’s hope for everybody,’ right?” Jess shook his head. “Back then, I don’t know how exactly, I just know that book helped me, just... just by being there. I figure, even though it’d mean nothing to the guy, Rawls got me through a tough time, stopped me from going crazy or whatever. I feel like if I go to the place he was from, it’d be like thanking him for that, kind of,” he explained, looking at Rory then with a somewhat pained expression. “And I sound like a freak.”

“No, you don’t,” Rory promised, moving closer again, bringing her hand up to his cheek and guiding him towards her until their lips met in a sweet kiss. “Jess, I think it’s wonderful that you want to... to pay tribute to him like that. Also, thank you for sharing with me. I know that stuff isn’t easy for you to talk about.”

“Yeah well,” he said, shrugging one shoulder, “it’s not so bad when you’re the one who’s listening,” he admitted, finding her a half-smile.

“I’m always here to listen, if you want me to,” she promised, leaning in for another kiss.

Of course, the thought occurred to her, as they lay down to sleep at last, with their arms around each other yet, that she probably wouldn’t be here very much longer. A little over two weeks from now and she needed to be back in Connecticut, ready to start her Sophomore year at Yale.

As it was, they were barely going to make it. The drive down to San Antonio was long, and if they stopped off at Tahlequah, even for a short visit, that was adding on time. She hadn’t even calculated the drive back from Texas to home yet and she worried about whether they would make it. Of course, she worried more about what happened when they got there, when she stayed and Jess potentially did not.

Holding on tighter to the man she loved, Rory pushed those thoughts away and willed sleep to come fast before she got too caught up in dark thoughts again. It really wasn’t easy.

* * *

They hadn’t stopped long in Tahlequah. Jess didn’t feel the need to waste time, he just wanted to be able to say he had been there, to stand in front of the library, see the dedication to Rawls, and just be for a minute, then let go. He hadn’t explained it all very well to Rory, he knew that, but she seemed to get it anyway. It was some sort of catharsis and it was over fast, which was a good thing, because there was a lot of driving still to do in a very short space of time.

It was a crazy idea to go on to Texas and they both knew it, but neither one was willing to say it out loud. Rory had her heart set on seeing The Menger Hotel, Jess agreed it would be cool, and so they were going. One last hurrah before whatever came next, they both knew that part too, because with time sliding on by, week on week, there was no way they could fit in anything else worth doing before the long drive back home.

Rory’s best guess was a twenty-four-hour drive from San Antonio back to New Haven. It was a good three-day trip and that was assuming they wanted to spend the better part of their time taking turns behind the wheel and that they had enough gas money to get there without working in between. Jess wanted to give it a week just to be on the safe side and that meant time was definitely not on their side.

Still, he painted on his best smile as Rory bounced around in the passenger seat, reeling off the names of just about every famous person who ever stayed at The Menger. She was cute when she was excited about stuff that most people wouldn’t care about. Actually, she was cute all the time, but that wasn’t the point.

“Oscar Wilde, O. Henry, Sidney Lanier, Frances Parkinson Keyes,” she said, with genuine glee in her voice, “plus you know Theodore Roosevelt famously recruited his Rough Riders in The Menger Bar.”

“I heard that.” Jess nodded, eyes not quite as on the road as they should be, because she was just that distracting sometimes. “Maybe it was you that told me, ten times already,” he said with a smirk he couldn’t control.

“I’m sorry.” Rory sighed, smiling nonetheless. “I’m Repeato Girl.”

“You’re fine,” he assured her. “You’re happy, that’s what matters.”

When she went too quiet, Jess knew he said the wrong thing. Not that it should be so bad to point out that someone was happy or to find that pleasing. It was only that Rory was no doubt feeling bad now, thinking about when the happy ended, or potentially, anyway. Jess certainly wasn’t going to think about that too much, never mind actually get her to talk about it.

“So,” he said, clearing his throat then, “tell me the history of this place again. Come on, you know you want to,” he teased, nudging Rory’s knee with his own.

He glanced her way and saw her usual bright smile break through again before she launched into the whole spiel from the top.

“The Menger opened in 1859 and it’s the oldest hotel west of the Mississippi that has been in continual operation...”

At least she was smiling and sounding genuinely happy again. Jess could live with having to fight his own dark mood and pretend it wasn’t creeping up on him like a shadow, what he couldn’t handle was bringing Rory down with him. They were going to enjoy what was left of this trip if it killed them, and if, when it was over, then that was the end of what they had too, he was just going to have to live with that.

At least they had gotten this far, talked through everything, established that what they had wasn’t just a waste of time. Whether they could make it work in the long-term, someplace permanent, be it Stars Hollow or anywhere else, that was a question for another day, one that Jess wondered if he would ever find the right answer to. Right now, he would rather live in ignorant bliss.


	16. Chapter 16

“This has been the best day!” Rory declared, a huge grin on her face as she practically bounced up and down on the end of the bed. “I mean, the whole trip has been amazing, obviously, but this part, I just loved!”

It was nice to see her happy, not that she had been much else on this trip, Jess was glad to note. They had their wobbly moments now and then, even a couple of small fights, but nothing too major. The whole open communication thing was going better than he ever could have imagined and there was nothing about the actual road trip part of this whole thing to complain about.

They really had seen the sights and made the most of the time they had to travel to all those literary spots they most wanted to see. Now, here they were, staying down the street from The Menger in San Antonio, having spent a large part of the day trawling around the famous hotel and talking about all the people they loved and respected that had stayed there over the years. It was a great place for their last stop.

Of course, the only problem was the finality of it all. After this, they had to go home.

“What?” asked Rory, clearly seeing a less than happy expression on Jess’ face. “I was being happy, but you look so sad.”

Jess quite literally shook it off. “I’m fine. I’m glad you’re happy,” he told her, coming to sit by her on the bed. “It’s good to end in glory, right?”

“End?” Rory echoed, so much pain in that one word that he really wished he had chosen any other way to say it, but there wasn’t one. “Jess, please don’t say that.”

“Rory, come on,” he urged her, though he also had to turn away from the hurt look on her face too. “We both know that from here, we’re headed back the way we came. Yale is back in session in, what? Ten days? There’s a long road between here and New Haven, so... it’s the end,” he said, shrugging his shoulders as he dared a glance back at her. “Well, isn’t it?”

She opened her mouth to answer him, but no sound came out. Jess wanted to tell her it didn’t matter, that they didn’t have to talk about it right now, but the truth was very different. Everything he just said, about her going back to Yale, about time running out, about this being the last stop on their wacky summer vacation road trip, it was all true and at this point there was really nothing left to do but face it, however much it hurt.

“Jess, I...” said Rory at last, only to be cruelly cut short by the ringing of a cell phone.

It took Jess a second or two to realise it was him and not Rory that had the incoming call, and when he grabbed for his cell, he fully intended to shut it off without picking up. It was only when he saw who was calling that he changed his mind.

“I have to get this,” he told her, standing up from the bed and pushing the button to accept the call. “Jimmy?”

Jess wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or more panicked when a female voice answered him, and one he recognised too.

“Hey, Jess.”

“What’s going on, Sash?” he asked her, hoping he managed to keep the worry out of his voice. “Everything okay?”

“Everything’s fine, I promise,” she told him fast. “I’m sorry, it kind of didn’t occur to me that you might think... Jimmy’s fine, honestly.”

A sigh of relief escaped Jess and as he turned around, he realised Rory was staring at him in some confusion. Excusing himself to Sasha for a second, he covered the mouthpiece and spoke to Rory.

“It’s Jimmy’s girlfriend,” he explained.

“Is he okay?” she immediately checked.

“Apparently.” Jess shrugged.

Rory nodded and got up, making gestures that she was going to use the bathroom.

Jess meant to tell her she could stay, but honestly, he just wanted to get back to Sasha and ask what the hell was going on. It was a little strange that she would just call him out of the blue like this, it had certainly never happened before. He liked her and everything, but if nothing was wrong with Jimmy, he couldn’t understand what else they might have to talk about in some random phone call.

“I’m back,” he told her. “What can I do for you?”

“Oh, well, it’s nothing really, or actually, I guess, in the grand scheme of things, it’s kind of a big deal,” Sasha explained badly before letting out a huge sigh. “Okay, I’m just gonna say this - your dad and I are getting married.”

Jess blinked hard, feeling momentarily stunned. “Huh.”

“Yeah, I figured that might be your reaction.” Sasha laughed lightly. “So, we both just decided it was time, no big romantic gestures, because you know we’re really not that kind of people, but yeah, we’re getting married.”

“Congratulations,” said Jess, unsure what else to say, to be honest.

“Thanks. You know, it’s all pretty new, we only decided things a week ago, but we didn’t see any point in hanging around. It’s only gonna be a small ceremony and nothing too fancy. No organised religion, no huge party, just the people that matter, make the vows, sign the papers, you know?”

“Right. Well, like I said, congratulations,” Jess repeated. “Uh, I’m guessing Jimmy knows you called me about this?”

“Yes and no,” Sasha admitted. “See, I told him he should tell you, you know, because you’re his son and, well, a kid should know if their father is getting married, right?”

“I guess so,” Jess agreed, though he supposed he wouldn’t be any better or worse for not knowing about this either.

“Well, you know Jimmy, he got it into his head that maybe you wouldn’t approve, or you’d feel pressured into coming all the way over here for the wedding or whatever, which you absolutely shouldn’t,” said Sasha fast. “I mean, if you wanna be here, we would love to have you, you know that, but if you have things going on or you just don’t wanna do it, that’s fine too.”

“When’s the wedding?” asked Jess, sinking down to sit on the edge of the bed, his free hand running back over his hair.

“Saturday.”

“That’s two days away.”

“Yup, pretty much.”

Silence reigned as Jess took a moment to digest and Sasha seemed smart enough to know that he needed it. She was pretty good at listening, understanding, letting people process, giving good advice, all that kind of stuff. More than once, Jess had wondered if he wouldn’t have been better off if Jimmy had taken him with him when he bolted and left Liz, then maybe he could’ve been raised by his dad and Sasha. It was a weird pipedream, and honestly, it wasn’t really what he wanted. That life in California that he made up in his head would’ve meant never going to Stars Hollow, never staying with Luke, never meeting Rory. That would suck. Still, he was sure that Sasha would’ve been a great step-mom, no question.

“So, like I said, no pressure,” she said eventually. “You can come to the wedding and that’s great, or you can not come and nobody’s going to be mad about it. I know it’s a long way.”

“Not so far right now actually,” Jess told her fast. “Uh, I’ve kind of been travelling around a lot this summer... with Rory.”

“With Rory?” Sasha checked. “Wow.”

Jess smirked at the way she said that, knowing what she must be thinking. As much as he and Jimmy had talked about Jess’ life so far, about all the screwing up he had done in the past few years and especially the mess he made of things with both his uncle and his girlfriend, he had probably shared more with Sasha. She had definitely given better advice about that whole situation. Jess probably should’ve listened to her a lot sooner, actually.

“So, where are you two right now?”

“Location-wise or relationship-wise?”

“Either one,” Sasha replied. “Maybe both, if that’s not too pushy?”

“It’s fine,” Jess assured her. “Uh, we’re pretty much together and weirdly stable, for now,” he explained, wincing a little as he recalled the look on Rory’s face and the conversation they had been having about ‘the end’ right before Sasha’s call came in. “And right now, we’re in Texas. San Antonio, to be precise.”

“Wow, you really have been travelling,” she said, with no lack of astonishment in her tone. “So, that’s, what? Fifteen hundred miles away?”

“If you say so,” Jess agreed, uncertain himself without a map to refer to.

“Well, how about I go online, grab a couple of cheap flights and get you two here in time for the wedding? Would that be okay?”

Jess felt his eyes widen at the sound of that suggestion. “You’re serious?”

“Sure,” Sasha told him easily. “If you want to. Again, you don’t have to,” she emphasised. “I would not push you into this, and as evidenced by the fact he didn’t call, Jimmy doesn’t want that either.”

“But you think he’d want me to be there,” Jess supposed, just as Rory emerged from the bathroom, looking more than a little awkward still.

Immediately, Jess reached out his hand to her, grabbing onto her fingers and drawing her closer until she came to sit beside him again. In his ear, Sasha reminded him how much Jimmy cared and how she was sure he would love for Jess to be at the wedding. She would love it too, and the chance to meet Rory would be great, but she also understood if he was uncomfortable and didn’t want to do it.

“Just a sec, Sash,” he told her then, pulling the phone away from his face and pressing it against his chest as he faced Rory. “Jimmy and Sasha are getting married this weekend.”

“Wow,” she said, with wide eyes and a shake of her head. “And they want you to go?”

“They want _us_ to go,” he told her with a smile. “You’d be cool with that, right?”

“Well, yeah, but-”

“Hey, Sash,” Jess said into the phone before Rory could continue. “If you’re really sure about booking those flights... Okay, then we’ll see you Saturday.”

Rory was stunned when she realised what was being agreed on her behalf. True, she had said yes when Jess asked her if she would be cool with going to California, but he also hadn’t let her finish. She was certainly going to give him her full answer, hot and strong, the moment he hung up from his call.

“What did you just do?!” she asked him crossly.

“What?” Jess asked, looking as if she just slapped him and also very confused. “You said yes.”

“I said yes, _but_ ,” she reminded him. “Emphasis on the but. Jess you know we can’t go to California, or at least, I can’t,” she said, jumping up from the bed and waving her arms emphatically. “We have to be back in New Haven a week from Monday. You know this. You promised me that if I wanted to go back, you would take me.”

“Did I ever say I wouldn’t keep that promise?” he asked her, suddenly on his feet too and looking just as angry and confused as Rory felt herself. “Geez, like I don’t know how fixated you are with Yale and your mom and everything back home,” he said crossly. “I said I’d take you back and I will. I just thought maybe you’d like to meet the non-crazy part of my family first. Sorry, it seemed like something you’d appreciate, and not to be repetitive, but when I asked, you said yes.”

“I know what I said!” Rory replied frustratedly, hands going to her head that was starting to ache with the pressure of this conversation-turned-fight now. “Jess, please, don’t act like you don’t understand, or like I’m the bad guy here.”

“Yeah, ‘cause we all know, that’s always me!” he countered, throwing his cell hard into the bed.

“Don’t do that,” Rory told him, reaching to turn him around when he put his back to her. “You are not a bad guy, neither of us is,” she promised, “but you can’t just... How are we going to go to a wedding in California in two days and make it back to Connecticut in time for me to go back to school? It’s pure math, Jess. We won’t make it, there’s no margin for error. I’d be amazed if we can even get from here to LA on time.”

“We wouldn’t be driving that part,” Jess explained. “I didn’t get a chance to tell you, but Sasha is getting us flights. We can leave the car here, fly to LA, then come back after and drive from here to New Haven. It should only take three or four days anyway, and yes, we’d have to push, but we’ll make it. Rory, I made you a promise,” he reminded her, hands gripping her arms as he met her eyes. “I told you before we left that you could rely on me now and you can. I keep my promises to you. I always will,” he swore.

Looking into his eyes, she knew he meant what he said. She loved Jess so much and she did believe that he wanted to keep his promise, she just wasn’t convinced that he physically could, not in these circumstances. Some of her concern must have showed on her face, too much perhaps, because in the next moment Jess’ hands slid away from her and he backed up a step, looking hurt.

“I guess it’s my own fault,” he said, shaking his head. “When you keep on letting people down, it makes it tough for them to believe you, even when you do finally change.”

“Jess...” she said, reaching for him, but he only backed up one more step.

“Don’t worry about it, Rory. I get it,” he assured her, moving towards the door. “I guess when I said it was the end, we were even closer than I thought.”

“Jess!” she yelled after him, but he was already gone, the hotel room door slamming shut in his wake.

It seemed the best day of their trip had just become the worst in a matter in minutes. Rory so had not seen that coming.


	17. Chapter 17

“Hey, babe. How’s life on the road?” asked Lorelai with a smile that Rory could just hear.

“It’s been better,” she admitted, immediately wishing she hadn’t made this call but knowing there was no going back now.

Her mom was going to judge. She was going to take Rory’s side and be as anti-Jess as she had ever been, undoing all the progress that seemed to have been made so far this summer. Rory didn’t want that, she really didn’t, but after her fight with Jess and him walking out, she really needed someone to talk to. As much as Lane might have tried to help, she actually had very little experience of dating. Rory’s best bet was her mom and she knew it, it was just unfortunate that this was bound to screw things up even worse in other ways.

“Rory, what happened?” Lorelai checked, worry creeping into her voice all too quickly. “Honey, please, tell Mommy what’s wrong before she has a heart attack.”

“It’s nothing you need to panic over, I promise,” Rory said fast. “God, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean for you to think anything terrible happened. No car wrecks, no muggings, nothing horrific in that way, I swear.”

“Okay,” said her mother with a large and very audible sigh. “Well, that’s good, but if it’s not horrific in that way it must be horrific in another,” she noted. “Rory, sweetie, did you and Jess have some kind of fight?”

Maybe she was just super-perceptive, and where Rory herself was concerned, it could easily by true, but Rory also knew that Lorelai had just gone for the most obvious thing here. This close to the end of the summer, even she ought to have known there was going to be a fight sooner or later. Certainly, Lorelai would have seen it coming.

“He asked me to go with him to his father’s wedding,” she said sadly.

“Okay... and that’s bad because... you’re suddenly allergic to white taffeta and layer cake?”

Rory might’ve laughed at her mom’s joke if she wasn’t so upset over Jess. She was clearly trying to lighten the mood in some small way and was probably also deeply confused as to why a wedding invitation should cause a fight. Out of context, Rory supposed it did sound pretty strange.

“I would love to go to the wedding, and I would love to meet Jimmy and Sasha and Lily. That’s Jess’ dad and his girlfriend and her daughter,” she quickly explained, “but the wedding is in two days. Two days, Mom! Even if we did accept Sasha’s offer of free flights from here to LA, even if she also paid for us to get back here after, we still have to drive from San Antonio to New Haven and we would have barely a week to do it. If anything went wrong, anything at all, if we were delayed even a day or something, I’d be late back. I cannot screw up with Yale, Mom, you know I can’t.”

Only when Rory was done speaking did she realise quite how much she had said without really taking a breath. Even a Gilmore girl could find herself oxygen-deprived occasionally when she rambled a rant too far!

“Okay,” said Lorelai eventually, clearly needing a second to process. “So, the wedding is Saturday and classes start up again a week from Monday, right?”

“Right.” Rory nodded into her agreement, even though she couldn’t be seen. “And that means that by the time we have been to LA and got back here and started the drive back, we would have less than a week to make it home, leaving no time for anything to go wrong. Things do go wrong on car journeys!”

“Granted, yes, they do,” Lorelai was quick to say, presumably because she could hear Rory starting to spiral, “and believe me, I think it’s incredibly adult and sensible of you to be thinking about that but, Rory, honey, is that really the only problem here?”

“I don’t understand.”

“Oh, babe, I think that you do,” Lorelai insisted. “How much was this fight about you guys not leaving a good buffer of time for you to get home for school to start again, and how much was you and Jess knowing that the end of the road might just be... well, the end of the road?”

Though she opened her mouth to give a response to that question, Rory found the words just wouldn’t come. She meant to tell her mom she was wrong, but that would be a lie. She wanted to say that things would be fine with her and Jess, even when their road trip was over, but she didn’t entirely believe that. They really hadn’t talked about it, both seemingly playing avoidance tactics until time began to run out on them and there was no choice but to face reality. Of course, when that moment finally came, so did the fight.

“Rory?” Lorelai prompted for a response. “You okay?”

“I am,” she said eventually. “I guess I’m just thinking how right you are. Honestly, Mom, I have no idea what happens when this trip is over. We never talked about it. I think I was afraid to, and maybe Jess was too, but we have to talk. We have to make a decision about where we go from here.”

“I think you’re right,” her mother agreed, “but babe, let me simple one thing up for you, okay? Just for a second, forget timings and complications and Yale. Would you like to go with Jess to California for this wedding?”

“Well, yes, I would,” Rory admitted without pause.

“Okay then. So, how about, if the happy couple are paying for you to get to LA, I pay for you to come home?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I will buy you a plane ticket. You, Rory Gilmore, will ride in style, all the way from LAX to Hartford, with plenty of time to spare before Yale starts up again. I’d say I’d buy a ticket for Jess too, but I’m guessing abandoning his car deep in the heart of Texas wouldn’t really appeal?”

“Uh, probably not,” Rory admitted. “But Mom, you can’t just buy me a plane ticket.”

“Hey, I am your mother and I can do whatever I darn well please!” Lorelai insisted. “Rory, come on. You want to go to the wedding, you wanna see California and meet Jess’ folks, and I’ll bet he would love to have you with him for something like that, wouldn’t he?”

“Maybe.” Rory sighed. “I mean, yes, I guess so. I don’t think he would’ve asked me to go if he didn’t want me to.”

“Exactly,” Lorelai agreed. “So, you guys go, do the wedding thing, hang out on the beach or whatever, and then, I’ll get you a flight home, yes?”

It did make sense, Rory knew that much, and her mom was being so understanding and so generous, it was tough to say no. The more she thought about it, the more she realised she would actually be a fool if she refused, when in fact it made all the sense in the world to accept.

“Okay,” she said eventually. “If you’re absolutely sure you can afford to do this?”

“I am absolutely sure,” her mom promised.

“Then, yes, thank you, Mom. That would help so much,” she told her with a smile that Lorelai could most likely hear, it was so big.

Of course, even with that figured out, Rory knew everything was not entirely fixed. She still had to talk to Jess and hope that he agreed to this new plan. After all, it would deny them the chance of the long drive back from Texas to Connecticut, but they could have extra time together in California if they wanted to, so there was that.

Before any of this could be considered, Jess had to come back to the hotel, and Rory couldn’t even call him because he had left his cell behind. When her talk with Lorelai was over, she put her own phone on the nightstand and laid down on the bed, staring at the ceiling, alone.

“And now, we wait,” she said to herself, hoping Jess wouldn’t be gone too long.

* * *

Jess wasn’t exactly proud of himself for the way he reacted when Rory got mad about the whole California trip. As he walked through the streets alone, he replayed the fight over and over, coming to realise that he was equally as much to blame for all this as Rory ever was.

He made her a promise when they left New Haven, that if she wanted to be back in time for school to start again in September, he would get her there. Jess still fully intended to keep that promise and he would like to think Rory had enough faith in him to believe it. Of course, he wasn’t taking into account her insane need to over-organise.

Maybe it wasn’t insane exactly, he considered, heading back to the hotel. After all, if the car broke down or one of them got sick or anything at all went wrong between here and home, they might not make it on time. She was right when she said there was no room for error and Jess knew it, he just didn’t want it to be true.

When he had gotten so greedy, Jess wasn’t sure. He figured maybe somewhere along the line on this wacky cross-country road trip, he had started getting used to everything going his way. He had Rory and the open road and a whole summer that revolved around famous literary spots, beautiful views, and making love with the woman he loved. It didn’t get much better and the idea that it was about to be over made him feel physically nauseous. Jess wasn’t handling it well, he wasn’t handling anything well today, including his last conversation with Rory that had turned into such a stupid fight. Now, somehow, he had to try to fix it.

“Yeah, because you’re so good at that,” he muttered to himself, rolling his eyes as he stepped into the elevator and travelled up.

Stepping out on the correct floor, he walked up to the door of their room and hesitated a moment. Before he had a chance to reconsider what he was about to do, that door opened, and there was Rory.

“You’re back,” she gasped. “Thank God!”

The next moment, she had her arms tight around him and Jess hugged her back on instinct. When she started pulling him into the room, he went with her, mostly from momentum, only getting his bearings when they were finally alone with the door closed and she was staring at him with tears in her eyes.

“I’m so sorry, Jess,” she said, swallowing hard. “I really didn’t mean-”

“It wasn’t all your fault,” he told her fast. “Seriously, Ror, it’s on me too. I know you have plans and I know you need to get back for Yale. I think I should know you well enough by now to realise you wouldn’t want to just fly off to LA-”

“But I do!” she told him, seemingly desperate to make him understand. “Jess, I never said I didn’t want to go to the wedding or meet your family. I wouldn’t say that because I do want to go with you, it was just the timing, that’s all, but it’s figured out now.”

“It is?” Jess checked, frowning in confusion. “What? You called Yale and asked them to move up their Fall semester so you can make it back on time, guaranteed?”

Rory rolled her eyes at that. “No, Mr Sarcasmo, but my mom called and we got to talking about things and, well, she said that if I want to go to the wedding with you and hang out in LA for a few days, it’d be okay, because she’s happy to pay for a plane ticket to get me home.”

Jess took a moment to let that sink in. “Huh,” he said eventually.

“And I know it’s not ideal in some ways,” Rory quickly told him. “I know it would’ve been better if we could have the trip back in the car together, but look on the brightside, we get more time with your dad and his family, or if you don’t want to, we don’t have to stay longer, I’m just saying we have a choice now, and anyway, it’s not-”

Before she could ramble any further, Jess slipped his hand behind her head, pulling her in a little closer and covering her lips with his own. Rory fell into the kiss with him for a while and then, disappointingly, pulled away.

“I shouldn’t let you get away with that all the time,” she said, trying to be stern but failing miserably as a smile broke through.

Jess smirked back at her. “You’re just sore that I proved there was a better way of depriving your brain of oxygen than talking too fast.”

Rory laughed, clearly unable to deny it, as she put her arms around him and hugged him one more time.

“So, we’re okay, right?” she checked. “I mean, we’ll go to the wedding, I’ll fly home after, you’ll drive the car back, and it’ll be cool... right?

As Jess looked at her then, he just wanted to say yes, that the plan was solid and everything would in fact be cool, but something stopped him. Could it really be that simple? If he agreed to this, was he saying he would build a life with Rory in Connecticut? Could he even stand to be back in that place, cemented into the ground for at least as long as she was in school?

“Jess?” she checked. “We are okay, right?” Rory asked again.

She looked so desperate for everything to be good between them and the last thing Jess wanted tonight was another fight. Everything he loved about this trip was still in play. They were still going to see the sights and have fun and be together for a few more days, so why waste it in anger and tears?

“We’re okay,” he promised her, pushing her hair back from her face. “More than okay,” he said, leaning in to kiss her lips.

When he walked her back towards the bed, she didn’t protest at all, in fact, her hands were pushing his jacket from his shoulders, then pulling him by his shirt to keep him with her as they sat down on the bed together.

Passion would overtake them, their fight long forgotten, future worries just a blur in the distance that they both chose to ignore for a little while longer. Maybe that was stupid. For tonight, at least, Jess couldn’t find it in himself to care.


	18. Chapter 18

“You’re shaking,” Jess noted as he and Rory walked through the airport together, his arm around her shoulders now.

“And I can’t even pretend it’s because I’m cold,” she said with a nervous chuckle. “I don’t know what’s the matter with me. I mean, they’re nice people, right? They have to be, they actually paid for us to be here,” she said more to herself than to him.

Jess leaned in to kiss her temple. “They’re nice people,” he promised Rory as she looked at him. “They’ll love you.”

“I hope so.” Rory sighed as they finally cleared the doors.

There was Jimmy, Sasha, and Lily all waiting for them on the other side, big grins on their faces, arms open for hugs. Jess hadn’t thought too much about what he would feel when he saw them again. Honestly, he had been too busy calming Rory down. As much as she wanted to come along on this trip, it was pretty clear she was nervous as hell. Jess supposed he could understand that, but her worries had distracted him from any he might have of his own, any vague concerns that things might feel different or strange when he saw this side of his family again. Actually, it felt just fine, nice even, as Sasha made a big deal of hugging him and welcoming him back.

“I’m really glad you came,” she told him happily.

“Yeah, me too,” Jess agreed. “Uh, this is Rory, obviously.”

“Wow, look at you.” Sasha sighed, glancing between the young couple. “Yeah, I see it.”

“See what?” asked Lily, frowning a little as she stared up at Rory and Jess.

“That, baby girl, is what love looks like,” her mom told her, tipping a wink at Jess before offering to help Rory with her bags.

The women walked away, Lily trailing behind them and Jess found himself abandoned and alone with Jimmy.

“Hey, son,” his father said with a half-smile. “So, you’re here for the wedding.”

“Apparently.” Jess nodded. “You finally asked her.”

“I finally did.”

“Regrets?”

“Not a one. You?” asked Jimmy then, glancing over to where Rory was talking to Sasha still.

Jess stared in the same direction, smiling as he shook his head. “Not a one.”

* * *

“So, what’s the verdict?” Jess asked her as they walked along the boardwalk together.

“Verdict?” Rory echoed, unsure what exactly he meant.

Honestly, she had been so caught up in finally being alone with Jess again that she wasn’t thinking much about anything besides how great it was to be holding his hand without feeling self-conscious. They did seem to get stared at a lot, especially by Lily.

“You met the wacky part of my family back east,” he reminded her, “and now the slightly-less-wacky part here. So, what’s the verdict? Still love me?”

Something in the way he said it wasn’t quite a joke, but Rory wasn’t exactly surprised by that. Poor Jess had been kicked around so much as a kid, abandoned and unloved, it was actually pretty tragic. Most of the time, Rory tried not to think about how much he had suffered, but there were times when it was unavoidable, especially since they were here visiting with the first person to walk out on Jess when he was just a baby.

“I’ll be honest, I did not expect to like Jimmy so much,” she admitted then. “I mean, knowing what happened when you were born, and given how much I love you, I just... I wasn’t sure, but he’s really cool. Honestly, he reminds me a lot of you.”

“Huh.”

“Oh, come on, you have to know that you guys are really similar.”

“Maybe,” Jess admitted, glancing away. “I mean, he is definitely where I get my love of decent music and decent books from.”

“And your sense of humour, and those good looks of yours,” Rory told him, grinning with amusement as he stared at her with wide eyes. “What? It all has to come from somewhere.”

Jess laughed as he pulled her closer, the two of them continuing walking with their arms wrapped around each other. They had been in and around the beach at least three times since they came to Venice and there was nothing specific they were looking to see. Mostly, it was an excuse to get out of the house a while, let Sasha and Jimmy have some semblance of a wedding night without interruption (since Lil was staying over with the neighbour) and give the young people some alone time too. 

Rory pointed out a diner as they came up to it, noting how it didn’t look unlike Luke’s back home. Though doubtless the food would never be quite as good, and there was no way the coffee could compare, they decided to go in. She was smiling while they ordered, but all too soon, the expression began to slip and she knew Jess couldn’t fail to notice. If nothing else, it would obviously always be weird to him whe there was food in front of her and Rory wasn’t actively eating.

“What?” he checked. “You suddenly don’t look so thrilled to be here.”

“It’s not the diner, or the food,” she told him, shaking her head. “It’s just...”

“Is this about Sasha?” asked Jess, startling Rory more than a bit.

“Sasha?”

“You know, all that stuff about us being the next people to get married, because you know, she was just messing around. She does that, it’s not serious.”

“No, I wasn’t... I mean, it was a little awkward,” Rory admitted, “but it’s fine. She told me she was kidding. In fact, she apologised if she embarrassed me or anything. I like Sasha,” she assured him, actually smiling more genuinely now they were on the topic of his family again. “She actually reminds me of Mom sometimes.”

Jess seemed to give that due consideration and then agreed with her. “Yeah, I guess she and Lorelai aren’t complete opposites. She is so much easier to deal with than Liz, I know that.”

“She and your dad seem really good together, and Lily is so sweet. Also, she has read so many books already, maybe even more than I had at her age.” Rory shook her head. “That’s really saying something.”

“Tell me about it,” Jess agreed. “It still kind of blows my mind that I just watched Jimmy and Sasha get married. I mean, I knew they loved each other and that it was probably going to happen eventually, but both my parents getting married again in the same year? Kind of weird.”

“I guess it would be.” Rory agreed, staring at Jess as he picked at his own food.

“So, I guess tomorrow we head north,” he said, without looking up. “It’s around a five hour drive to Monterey, but we can see Cannery Row, stay overnight, hit San Francisco and then come back. We’re good for the money, as far as I can tell and... What?” he asked, finally glancing up at her.

“I do love you, a lot,” she promised him. “You know that, right?”

He looked a little confused by the question at first but then slowly nodded. “I know.”

“Good.” Rory leaned across the table to kiss him quickly and then concentrated on her food at last. “This looks good and even if it’s not as good as Luke’s, which, let’s face it, it can’t be, I’m so hungry, I don’t think I’ll care.”

“Like there’s a time when you’re ever not hungry,” Jess teased her.

Though he smiled when he said it, Jess wasn’t entirely feeling that joy that showed on his face. Not that hearing that Rory loved him was a bad thing. It actually made him feel a little better about this whole situation, but only a very little bit, if he was honest.

He got to talking to Sasha last night, while Rory was in the shower and Jimmy had taken Lil to get pizza. First, they discussed the wedding and then the conversation shifted. She asked how things were going with him and Rory, and him telling her it was all fine just didn’t seem to cut it.

She knew. Sasha _always_ knew. Jess learned very quickly why Jimmy had ideas that there was something of the witch about his lover, because she really did have this freakish way of just knowing things. She knew instinctively that something was wrong in Rory and Jess’ relationship. She told him she just saw it somehow.

“She wants to go back. Back to her hometown and her mom and Yale,” he had explained, all without actually looking her way.

“Uh-huh, and you knew that she would, right?”

“Sure.” Jess had nodded, knowing Sasha was staring at him, just wating for him to look up, so eventually he had to. “What?”

“You know what, Jess?” she told him with a sigh. “You’re acting like she’s betraying you by doing what you always knew she was going to do. She has a life. From what you said, she’s pretty taken with it, but she clearly also wants to be with you,” she summed up, the way only Sasha could. “So, what’s stopping you from going and being part of her life in Connecticut?”

“I tried it once. It didn’t work out,” he reminded her.

After all, she had been the one he mostly spilled his guts to about the whole situation last time. Sure, Jimmy got to hear some of it too, but Sasha was better with the emotional stuff - Jimmy’s words, nobody else’s.

“You do remember how many times me and Jimmy fought the first time you were here, right?” Sasha had said then, all in Jess’ face so he couldn’t look away if he wanted to. “Jess, sweetheart, in relationships, sometimes, you just get it wrong. You’re gonna screw up, she’s gonna screw up, but that’s okay. You learn from it and you move forward. If you love each other enough, that moving forward part? It’s something you do together.”

It was good advice and all made sense, Jess couldn’t deny it. Honestly, the larger part of him really did want to commit to this thing with Rory. He wanted to say he would go back with her, find a place in Stars Hollow or New Haven or Hartford, somewhere that could be his, maybe even theirs. He wanted to, but something stopped him, every time.

As much as he loved Rory, and he truly did, there was just this feeling of doubt, a constant niggling worry in his stomach that wouldn’t go away, no matter how much he tried to ignore it. Last time, he messed up, in so many ways he lost count. Rory could forgive him and that was fine, but it didn’t mean it wouldn’t happen again. He might get bored, get jealous, get stupid. Fight with her mother, hit her ex-boyfriend, piss off his uncle. Those were just the kinds of things Jess Mariano did. Anyone in Stars Hollow would tell you that if you asked.

“Hey, dreamer,” said Rory, pulling him from an over-thoughtful daze with her hand on his arm that rested between them on the diner table. “You okay?”

“Just thinking,” he said, not a lie, at least, as he met her bright blue eyes and wondered how he could ever, in a million years, consider going on from here without her.

Jess had an idea to ask her about it, to see what she thought about him going back east with her and trying to build a life together there. Of course, if he did ask her, he was well aware that she could say no and break his heart. Then there was the chance she would say yes, and that would mean he would actually have to go through with it, come what may. He wasn’t sure right now which option bothered him more.

“Don’t think too hard,” Rory advised him, clearly concerned. “You’ll hurt yourself.”

“Maybe,” he admitted, picking her hand up from the table and kissing it. “You’re amazing, you know that, right?” he told her then.

“That’s always nice to hear,” she admitted, blushing all the same.

The waitress came over then and asked if they wanted anything else. Jess watched as Rory ordered an extra piece of pie for dessert without even flinching. The fact she could put away twice the amount of food any normal person would try to eat in one sitting always made him smile, even if he wasn’t sure why.

That was his Rory, at least for now. He had meant what he said about her being amazing because she truly was and in too many ways for him to count. Unsurprisingly, a Steinbeck quote came to mind as he watched her, not from Cannery Row, like he just mentioned, but from East of Eden.

‘I believe a strong woman may be stronger than a man, particularly if she happens to have love in her heart. I guess a loving woman is indestructible.’

Maybe she could not be broken by anything anymore, but Jess wondered about himself. Men were supposed to be so tough, so invulnerable, especially guys like him, but it wasn’t true. He had proved that when he ran from Rory and Luke and Stars Hollow the first time, all the way here, to California. He couldn’t risk that again, getting into a place where all he could do to make it better was bolt. Couldn’t do it to himself or to Rory, because then that really would be it, game over, for good this time.

It left Jess in the quandary of still not knowing where they were supposed to go from here, or whether he should really be going anywhere at all when Rory finally headed home. He supposed he was going to have to think about it a lot more in the next couple of days and hope the answer came to him before time ran out.


	19. Chapter 19

First they hit Cannery Row, then moved on to San Francisco, the new last stop on their literary tour. Rory was glad to see the place that inspired Steinbeck so much, and now they were headed for what might just be the ultimate location to end their trip. She had thought nothing could top The Menger Hotel, but given the chance to come to California like this, it provided the opportunity to see the one place that might actually be even more special for both Jess and herself.

“So, this is it,” he said, breath seeming to catch as they stood there on Columbus Avenue, staring up at the sign reading ‘City Lights Bookstore.’

“Yup, this is it.” Rory nodded, just as awed by the sight, truth be told.

She was frankly amazed that Jess hadn’t gone there on his first trip to California, but as he told her when she asked, he really hadn’t ventured outside of Venice then. If he had, they both knew this would have been the spot he most wanted to see.

“Not gonna lie, this would’ve been incredible either way,” he said then, eyes drifting from the iconic bookstore to meet Rory’s own gaze, “but being here with you, kind of blowing my mind,” he admitted with a hint of a smirk.

She knew the significance for him, since it was exactly the same for her. Sure, this bookstore was pretty much a mecca for the Beatnik generation, unrivalled in its selection and its uncompromised politics, and that all meant something important to Jess, but there was more to it than that. City Lights wasn’t just a bookstore but a publisher too, and one of the most famous books they produced just happened to be printed in 1956, a thin volume by a certain Allen Ginsburg, entitled _Howl and Other Poems_.

“‘I’m with you in Rockland, where we wake up electrified out of the coma by our own souls’ airplanes roaring over the roof, they’ve come to drop angelic bombs, the hospital illuminates itself. Imaginary walls collapse. O skinny legions run outside. O starry-spangled shock of mercy, the eternal war is here. O victory, forget your underwear, we’re free.’”

“‘I’m with you in Rockland. In my dreams you walk dripping from a sea-journey on the highway across America in tears to the door of my cottage in the Western night,’” Rory continued easily, completing the final lines of the poem, feeling Jess’ hand grip hers all the tighter and smiling with the joy of it all.

This truly was an exceptional moment, the two of them here, in this place, in this time, the beginning and the ending of something all rolled into one, a never-ending circle. Of course, Rory was all too aware that even circles could be broken, that this one almost definitely would be, as soon as tomorrow, in fact.

“I read it so many times, especially after you left,” she said of her copy of _Howl_ , knowing Jess would realise that, without her ever being explicit. “Not even the poem most of the time, just your notes in the margins. Sometimes it made me laugh, and sometimes it made me cry, but I was never sorry when I was done reading, not once,” she said, turning to him.

“I always knew you were cracked,” he said fondly, pushing her hair back from her face when the breeze caught it. “Rory...”

“Don’t, please,” she urged him, sure he was going to say something about this being the end of the journey and knowing she wouldn’t be able to take it. “Just for a few minutes longer, can we pretend it’s all okay? That’s it’s simple and easy and we can just go on and on, exactly like we have been for the last few weeks?”

It was such a stupid thing to say, such a childish wish when they both knew it was time to face reality, to be the adults they had become and move forward. It was what they had vowed to do when they started this journey together, both the physical one and the metaphysical one. Their relationship had developed so much, what was between them was stronger than it had ever been, but one problem remained. Rory had to go home. She couldn’t see a way not to return to Yale when she had already worked so hard, not to go back to her mom, her family and friends. She also couldn’t see a way for Jess to go with her. Stars Hollow wasn’t home for him, he had run from it too many times for her to ever believe it could be, but then, hadn’t he always come back too?

“C’mere,” Jess urged her, pulling her closer, letting his lips find hers.

It wasn’t just that this part always worked, Rory knew, it was so much more. As their arms went around each other then and they kissed like their lives depended on it, she swore she saw every previous moment, so like this one, play out behind her eyes. Late one night outside the garage, walking across town square with snow beneath their feet, hiding by a flower stall where no-one would see, dropping bags of Chinese food because this was more important.

Rory hadn’t realised she was crying until they finally parted and she felt a tear run down her nose, saw the pain in Jess’ eyes just from noticing it himself.

“We knew it had to end somewhere,” he told her, looking to the foot of ground between them now.

“Does it really have to?” she asked, sniffing hard and trying to keep it together, just a little bit longer. “Jess, you know I have to go back, I just... as much as I sometimes think maybe not, I just have to.”

“I know,” he agreed, even though it seemed to physically hurt him.

“But you could come with me,” she told him, hands gripping both his sleeves as they stood there in the blazing sun, not caring who walked by and saw them, wondering what was going on. “You know Luke would let you stay, or you could crash at my dorm for a while, or maybe somehow, we could get an apartment. Not in Stars Hollow, necessarily, maybe in New Haven or Hartford or somewhere-”

She wasn’t sure why Jess suddenly kissed her then. Rory wanted to believe it was confirmation, agreement, sealing a promise that he would try like she was asking him to, that he would commit to them being together, in a place he wasn’t so sure he wanted to call home, but would try to, just for her. She wanted to believe it, but she couldn’t. When he kissed her like that, she knew it was because he couldn’t stand to hear anymore. It was because he needed to tell her something he didn’t want to have to say. Something like goodbye.

“I’m sorry,” he said eventually, forehead still pressed against Rory’s own as he held her tight. “I know what you’re saying makes sense, and it’s not that I don’t wanna say yes, because believe me, Rory, I do. I really do. I just keep thinking about before, how it all fell apart the last time-”

“But it’s different now,” Rory insisted, desperate more than certain in what she was saying. “Well, isn’t it? We’ve come so far, Jess, and I don’t mean miles across the country. We rebuilt everything, it’s supposed to be stronger than before. _We’re_ supposed to be stronger.”

When Jess looked away, she knew she was losing him, and she knew why, even though she wished she didn’t. It might have been easier if he just didn’t want to be with her, but Rory knew that couldn’t be true. If she hadn’t been sure, he was about to prove it anyway.

“Rory, you know that I love you. Okay, I do, I love you,” he told her, that intense gaze of his locked onto her own watery blue eyes. “And if I thought it was as easy as me coming back with you, I’d do it. I’d do it today, you know I would... but it’s not, and you know that it’s not.”

Rory swallowed hard. “I don’t want to know that it’s not.”

“Me either,” he admitted, looking as close to emotional as she had ever seen him. “I just don’t want it to end that way, you know? With us resenting each other and... and hating each other. I can’t deal with that. Can you?”

Knowing he was right, Rory shook her head. No, she couldn’t handle that either, but that didn’t mean she wanted it to end this way. She didn’t want it to end at all, ever. Maybe it was grown-up and adult to admit defeat, for Jess to be honest in telling her he wasn’t sure they could make it work back in the Hollow, that he just didn’t want to live to let her down again. She did respect him for that, she loved him so much that it hurt, but none of that made her feel better about this whole journey being over.

“It’s so stupid,” she said, swiping one more stray tear from her cheek. “Even after everything, even after we said, so many times, that we were going to talk things out more and make it work, I still didn’t want to face this. I’ve been worried about it for days, for miles and miles of road, and... and I knew. I think a part of me always knew this was how it had to end.”

She forced a smile even as her heart was breaking. It didn’t come easy but she managed somehow. Putting a hand to Jess’ cheek, Rory met his eyes, swallowed hard, and found her voice again.

“I love you, Jess Mariano, and as much as I’d love to be mad at you for not coming back with me, I do understand. I want to thank you for being honest with me, and for loving me the way I know you do, and... and for giving me the best summer of my entire life.”

The tears overtook her then, stealing her voice, blurring her vision, as Jess pulled her as close as he could get her and kissed her hard.

They stood there a long while after, arms tight around each other, holding on for all they were worth, clinging to each other as if it would save them from drowning. It wouldn’t, but they had to try.

* * *

Jimmy and Sasha had insisted they didn’t need a honeymoon, and yet, when Jess offered to watch over both their babies - Lily in Sasha’s case, Dante’s for Jimmy - they didn’t argue much. They seemed to know that he was making a request, practically begging for the assignment, even as he passed it off as a nice gesture for two people who helped him when he needed help the most.

If they heard the tears in his voice during that phone call, he didn’t know and didn’t want to ask. If they saw in his face how much agony he was in over the break-up, they never said a word about it, though the way Jimmy patted him on the shoulder, the way Sasha hugged him before they left, and the way Lily curled up by him on the couch to read that night proved that they all knew very well what happened, and moreover, how gut-wrenchingly destroyed it had left Jess.

It was his own fault, he was well-aware. There really was nothing to stop him from going back to Connecticut. Sure, he didn’t have a plane ticket to fly with Rory, only the return to San Antonio, where he had abandoned the car. He could drive from there, much like the original plan. Three or four days cross-country to get back to his lady love.

“Like something out of a lame romance novel,” he muttered to himself, hardly knowing the words had come out of his mouth until Lily looked up at him and asked what he said. “Uh, nothing much,” he insisted. “What’s the book?” he asked, nodding to the sizeable tome in her hand.

“ _Little Women_ ,” she told him, without really looking up.

“You got that from Jimmy’s library?” Jess checked, frowning some, pretty sure that as well-read as his father was, he was unlikely to have something like that in his collection. “Lil?”

“Somebody bought it for me,” she said, shifting awkwardly.

He opened his mouth to ask her who before realising why she seemed so reluctant to tell him. Rory, it had to be. She had talked a lot about how amazing Lily was, reading so far ahead of what was average for her age. Jess suspected she saw a little of herself in the shy, awkward, but intelligent kid that he supposed was his little sister now, in some weird way or another.

Of course, Rory wanted to encourage Lil in her bid to be the most well-read ten year old on the planet. Of course, she would be so kind as to buy her a gift like that. Of course, Lily wouldn’t want to tell him, for fear of how much it would hurt Jess to even be thinking about Rory right now.

“You like the book?” he asked Lily, shaking himself out of his current train of thought before he managed to derail himself.

“So far, yeah.” Lily nodded. “You’ve read it, right?”

“Sure. You have a favourite March sister yet?”

“I like them all, but probably Jo.”

“Makes sense.” Jess smiled, smoothing the kid’s hair and letting his arm go around her as she curled up closer again, her nose deep in her book once more.

Jo was Rory’s favourite too, for the writer angle, Jess supposed, as well as the sickle wit and all. Truthfully, Jess felt much the same about the March sisters. Meg was a little boring and too easily led by others. Beth was okay but died before she really got a chance to grow up. Amy was the kind of person Jess would hate in real life and he didn’t like her at all in print either. No, Jo was the one, not just which one he would want to date or something if the little women were real and existed in the modern world, but the one he would be, if that was the question. Not that he was a writer himself or ever planned to be. For that, you had to have a story to tell. You had to live, you had to love, you had to see things and know things...

“Jess?”

He startled when Lily suddenly spoke up again and looked down at her worried expression.

“Are you gonna hurl?” she asked, frowning some.

“No, I’m okay,” he promised, though he assumed he didn’t look it at all. “I was just thinking, but I’m fine,” he assured her once more, giving her a hug and encouraged her to carry on reading while he did the same.

Jess picked up the book from the table and opened it up, but he wasn’t seeing the words on the page. His mind was a long way away, somewhere closer to where Rory was right now, which was normal these days, but there was more than that too. Everything they had done and said, seen and heard, been through this summer. It would make quite the novel itself, if he ever had it in him to write it down.


	20. Chapter 20

The moment Rory saw her mom at the airport, she ran to her, hugging her tight, hanging on for dear life.

“Hey, baby girl,” said Lorelai, with evident joy and relief in her voice as she squeezed her back. “I missed you soooo much.”

“I missed you too,” Rory choked out, wishing she could control herself better but knowing that she couldn’t.

It was going to seem strange, crying and bawling like a baby about simply coming home, and then Mom was going to ask what was wrong and Rory was going to have to tell her. It wasn’t that she minded sharing so much, she was always perfectly fine with telling Lorelai anything at all, but not like this, not in the middle of a crowded airport where she was going to make such a complete fool of herself.

“Rory?” Lorelai frowned as she pulled back and saw just how hard she was crying. “Oh, sweetie, come on, it’s okay,” she said, wiping tears from Rory’s face with a gentle hand. “I know it’s probably really weird coming back home without Jess after all that time you guys spent together, but he’ll be here before you know it.”

It took everything Rory had to force out an answer to that, but she had to say something. She couldn’t lie to her mom. She really never had before and she certainly didn’t intend to start now.

“No, he won’t.”

“Well, sure, it’s a long drive,” Lorelai considered, still not getting it. “It might be a few days but-”

“Mom, please.” Rory shook her head so hard, only succeeding in dislodging further tears from her red-rimmed eyes.

“Rory, what’s going on?”

The frown creasing her mom’s brow was as much full of worry and concern as it was confusion and only made Rory feel worse. Still, she couldn’t bear to say too much here. Her eyes darted left and right, seeing people who would stare and try to listen in, wondering what was wrong with the strange girl bawling like her heart would break in the middle of Arrivals.

“Can we please just go home?” she said swallowing hard. “I promise I will explain, but... but not here,” she said pointedly.

Though Lorelai looked less than thrilled, she did nod her agreement. One arm went around her daughter’s shoulders, her free hand going to the other end of the baggage cart handle as she helped steer it out to the car.

There was a small sigh of relief that escaped Rory’s lips then, glad to keep the unhappy truth to herself for a little while longer at least. It was almost as if it wasn’t true for as long as she didn’t talk about it, even though Rory knew that made no sense. The pain, like a hole right through her heart, told her very clearly that it was very much true, all too real.

In the car, she could pretend it wasn’t so bad. She asked Lorelai about the inn and how things were going with Luke. Those were happy topics and it wasn’t so hard to smile on hearing that everything was good. Forty minutes of work success and dating joy was a great tonic to Rory, but as Hartford turned into Stars Hollow, and the Crap Shack came suddenly into view, she was very much aware the subject was about to change.

They barely cleared the front door, bags in both their hands, with Rory only glad to note that neither Babette not any other neighbour or friend had spotted them on the way in and asked any questions. That didn’t mean she wasn’t going to have to answer whatever her mom asked next and Rory knew very well what it was going to be.

“Okay, so, you are way too sad for a girl who isn’t going to see the boyfriend for just a few days,” she said, as they dumped all the bags in Rory’s bedroom without bothering to think about unpacking right now. “What’s going on, sweets?”

Rory opened her mouth to explain, sure at first that nothing was going to come out but sobs and wails. She wasn’t so very wrong about that. Much of the real meaning and substance of what she had to explain got lost and had to be repeated as she and her mom sat on the bed, Lorelai’s arms wrapped tightly around her precious girl as Rory told the whole story.

She started with how great her adventuring road trip had been with Jess, how happy they had been for as long as they were out in the world together, but they both knew a return to reality was imminent. In California, they faced up to the truth, at last, and of course, that was that.

“So, it had to be over,” Rory explained. “I know it probably sounds wrong and stupid to you, because you just care that I’m upset and you probably want to blame Jess, but it’s not all on him, Mom. I don’t blame him. We made the mature decision, I know we did, because he would’ve been miserable here, and I would’ve been miserable if I had to give up Yale and being here with you, and... and there just wasn’t a good answer except... well, we just had to end it.”

She really did want to be able to say all that without breaking down again, but Rory couldn’t do it, she just couldn’t. Lorelai pulled her close again, her head on her chest as she shushed her and told her she was so, so sorry that she was hurting.

“You know, what? For what it’s worth, I actually don’t blame Jess this time,” said Lorelai softly, one hand stroking Rory’s hair yet. “I mean, do I love that he wouldn’t prove how much he loved you by coming back here and being with you, even if it wouldn’t be his first choice of places to live? No,” she admitted, continuing lightning-fast, the way Gilmore girls were prone to do, before Rory could jump in Jess’ defence. “But I also get that changing yourself or your life for someone else, well, there has to be compromise in any relationship, but there’s a point where you know, you just know you’re going to end up resenting the other person for making you change too much, and that leads to no good,” she said, sighing heavily. “It was why I couldn’t marry Max.”

“That was different,” said Rory, looking up at her mom. “I mean, wasn’t it?”

“I don’t think so.” Lorelai shook her head slightly as she considered it. “You know he loved me and I did love him, in a way. He made me happy and I like to think I made him happy too, but we just... we didn’t fit in each other’s lives. He wanted a role with us that I couldn’t give him, and I’m pretty sure, in the end, he would’ve wanted me to be the kind of wife I would never know how to be, so it had to be over. It doesn’t mean we didn’t care about each other or that we didn’t want to make each other happy, but sometimes, the sacrifice is too big, you know?”

Rory sniffed hard. “I know,” she admitted, face crumbling again in a moment as tears overtook her.

Lorelai tried to be comforting, she really did, and Rory wanted to feel better for all the kind words, hugs, and promises that it would feel better in time. Unfortunately, none of it seemed to do much good. All Rory could think about was how very definitely over it was this time for her and Jess.

Before, she had always considered there might just be a chance. Their ending had been so ambiguous the last time. Neither one of them ever really officially ended things. Jess left, but he always came back, and then he said he loved her and Rory knew she had always loved him too. It seemed like a possibility for all those months and then finally the chance of something became a reality.

Three glorious months of summer fun, of love and adventure, of the relationship she and Jess should have had from the beginning. From so high to so low in the space of a few days, it was no wonder Rory felt like she had been put through the ringer, but if even her mom was agreeing that she and Jess made the right call to end things when they did, then surely, it had to mean this was all for the best, no matter how much it hurt, right?

* * *

“You’re an idiot!”

Rory’s eyes were wide with surprise when Paris practically yelled in her face like that. Not that she should be at all shocked that her so-called friend would say something so mean to her. Paris Geller was nothing if not completely honest and horribly blunt. She told a person exactly what she thought and pulled no punches. Still, Rory hadn’t quite expected that when she spilled all the details of her summer, including its sad ending, Paris would start calling her names.

“My God, Gilmore, how can you be so vacant? I know you’re not actually stupid, there’s no way you could’ve kept up with me at Chilton or got into Yale if you were.”

“Uh, not to be picky, but I actually _surpassed_ you at Chilton,” Rory pointed out, feeling like she was allowed to get one low-blow in if her friend was. “Valedictorian, remember?”

“Don’t care, remember?” Paris countered crossly, folding her arms across her chest. “You may be book-smart, but dear God, your stupidity when it comes to the men in your life really takes the cake. I can’t exactly claim to be the world expert in men, I have only seriously dated the two, but it doesn’t take a genius to know that you and Mariano are classic Romeo and Juliet.”

Rory frowned at the analogy. “If that were true then I hardly think my mom and his uncle would be dating,” she pointed out. “Also, I think we’re doing a little better than Romeo and Juliet. We ended with a break up, not suicide.”

“Don’t be fooled, Gilmore. The play’s not over yet,” Paris pointed out. “Your stupid ‘mature decision’ to break up now so you don’t break up later is an ill-advised interlude, not an Act 5 climax. You do love him, don’t you?”

“Well, I... Of course, I do,” Rory stammered. “Yes, I do,” she repeated with more confidence as Paris glared at her yet.

“You love him and he clearly loves you. Only two people in love could be as crazy this summer as you two have been.” Paris rolled her eyes. “You had as close to a true love story as real life ever sees. Do you know what most people would give to have that and actually make it last?”

Her eyes went sideways to the antique printing press that took up more than half the main room of the dorm and Rory felt sick in her stomach. Poor Paris. As weird as it had been to watch her date a guy that was old enough to be her grandfather, she really did care about Asher a lot. Maybe they weren’t true love’s dream or anything, but it had clearly become that much more than a foolish dalliance between a professor and a student. Now, it was all over, not because of a break-up, well-intentioned or otherwise, but because Asher Fleming had died.

“You can’t compare what happened with you and what happened with me,” said Rory after a while, speaking too softly and she knew it. “I just... You losing Asher is terrible, obviously, but you can’t say that I should’ve tried harder to find a way to be with Jess just because your boyfriend passed away.”

“I can say whatever the hell I want actually,” Paris pointed out, “and I pity the fool who ever tries to stop me.”

A slight smirk pulled at her lips when she said it, the closest she had come to smiling at all in the past three days since they had been back at Yale. Mostly she had cried and mourned, been too busy with that and arranging a wake to really talk to Rory until now. Today, when she finally asked Rory what happened with ‘Holden Caulfield’, of course, she told her everything, though she was starting to wonder now if that had been the wrong choice.

Heaving a sigh, Paris sat down hard in the nearest armchair. “I think it’s safe to say that, one way or another, we’re both pretty bad at relationships” she admitted. “Though I guess while the break-up with Jamie was my own fault, I can’t really be blamed for Asher leaving me.”

“Of course not,” Rory assured her, moving to sit beside her on the arm of the chair. “I know he really cared about you, Paris.”

“Sure.” She nodded in agreement. “I mean, come on, even I’m not so high maintenance that a guy would rather die than be with me, right?”

“Paris, don’t even joke about that,” said Rory firmly. “I’m just so sorry that it had to end up like this,” she said, her hand on her friend’s shoulder in what she hoped would be a comforting way - it was sometimes hard to tell how Paris would take these things.

“For what it’s worth,” she replied, eyes fixed on the printing press even now, “I’m sorry things couldn’t work out for you and Mariano. Maybe you did make the smart choice, breaking up before you could make each other miserable... _again_ ,” she added, with one more heaving sigh.

“Yeah, maybe,” Rory echoed, though she had to admit, if only inside her own head, that she was regretting it already.

The past few nights, lying alone in her bed with only her thoughts to keep her company, it was impossible not to run through all the possible scenarios and all the pros and cons of each.

What if she could have convinced Jess to come back with her and try Stars Hollow again? What if she had just switched schools, taken her same courses at Harvard or Princeton or somewhere else entirely, so she and Jess could start fresh in some other place? What if they had both just thrown away the past and built some new kind of unknown future together?

“Rory?”

She actually had to shake herself to get back to reality when she heard Paris say her name.

“Huh?”

“We can get through this, right?” said Paris, staring up at her with the most vulnerable expression on her face that Rory was sure she had never seen before, apart from in the mirror, of course.

“We can,” she promised her friend faithfully. “We’re stronger than most people. Women like us have to be.”

“You got that right.” Paris nodded her agreement, turning away to stare at the printing press some more.

She was still hurting so much, Rory knew. After all, she was sure the pain in her own heart was going nowhere for a good long while yet, and at least she knew Jess was out there in the world somewhere, unlike Asher Fleming. 

Actually, Rory wondered which one really was worse. At least Paris knew her guy hadn’t left her on purpose, he didn’t get a choice. Jess had made his decision, along with Rory, who had agreed to it because she knew she had to. Did that mean they were right? Lorelai seemed to think so and even Luke had made noises like he could agree, and yet, Paris was so against it.

Rory shook her head and decided to think about anything else. After all, rightly or wrongly, she and Jess had said their goodbyes and that was an end to it. She was just going to have to prove what she said to Paris, that they were strong enough to get through this. Rory couldn’t really see she had any other option.


	21. Chapter 21

“There are too many jerks in this place!”

Rory slammed the door behind her as she entered the dorm, not even managing to startle Paris one iota.

“Well, that’s a given,” her friend agreed from her spot sat lotus style on the couch, books and papers spread everywhere. “Anyone specific?”

“Ugh, that stupid Logan Huntzberger,” Rory complained. “He’s just so...”

“Handsome, intelligent, rich?” Paris tried.

“Annoyingly right about things he has no right being right about!”

Rory realised too late how badly phrased that sentence was and couldn’t even be bothered to correct herself. Tossing her book bag into the chair, she threw herself down after it and growled with frustration.

“Wow. If he’s making you this mad, you must really like him.”

“Paris, you’re not funny,” Rory told her crossly.

Paris rolled her eyes. “What, am I Krusty the Clown? I wasn’t trying to be funny, just stating a fact. Come on, Huntzberger’s reputation with the female half of the alumnus is legendary. He’s interested and you’re playing hard to get-”

“I am not playing hard to get!” Rory yelped. “I could not be less interested in the guy.”

“You sure about that?” her friend checked, eyes going back to her assignment as she continued. “Studies have shown that the whole ‘getting under someone new to get over someone else’ thing might actually have a real scientific basis.”

“Paris!”

Once again, Rory wondered how she could find herself shocked by anything that came out of Paris’ mouth. After knowing her so long, she was well aware that whatever she was thinking would be stated aloud to the room, no filter and no remorse involved, and yet, there were still times when Rory could hardly believe what she was hearing.

Maybe it only bothered her so much that Paris was making suggestions about her and Logan because she might actually find herself tempted in different circumstances. Rory wasn’t blind. She saw that Logan was very good looking and, of course, he was charming and clever, even if his knowing these facts a little too well about himself knocked his appeal factor down a notch or two.

If Rory had met him last year, or if she hadn’t got back together with Jess this summer, then maybe she would’ve been interested in Logan in some way, though his reputation would still have made her wary. He wasn’t exactly the commitment type from what she could tell, just the one-night-stand, love them and leave them kind of a guy. Since Rory really wasn’t that kind of a girl, she hardly thought she and Logan would be a good fit anyway, and with things the way they were, with her heart still healing, very slowly, after what happened with Jess, there was just no way she had any interest in dating anybody else.

“By the way, I have somebody coming to pick that up later,” said Paris then, hiking a thumb over at the printing press without ever looking up from her work. “I figure it’s about time.”

“Probably,” said Rory with a sigh. “Seems like a shame though, doesn’t it?”

“Maybe,” Paris admitted, “but I’ve never exactly been the sentimental type. Besides, it’s just a reminder and... and at some point, I’m going to have to move on, I guess.”

Rory nodded her head, a pointless act, since her friend wasn’t even looking her way, but then, maybe that was a good thing. After all, Rory wasn’t so sure she really did agree with what Paris had said. Maybe it was good to have reminders of people you loved, even if things did end badly in one way or another. She was sure the boxes that lived in the hall closet at home, the ones marked Jess #1 and Jess #2, would always matter way too much for her to ever just toss them out.

“It’s not too late for you, you know?”

Paris caught Rory unawares and she looked at her so quickly she almost gave herself whiplash.

“What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean,” Paris insisted. “Jess isn’t dead, he’s just not physically here right now. I still don’t understand this stupid ‘It’s better if we’re just over’ crap that you’re giving me. This entire summer aside, I know what I saw when you two were together the last time. Hell, even before you were actually together. He drove you crazy, which absolutely proved he was the one, and then, he broke your heart, and I was at the front of the line with Lorelai and Lane to want to kick the guy in the balls for that particularly craptastic behaviour, but it was always pretty clear that you were never happier than when you two were together. He loved you, he just had problems. From what you said about this summer, he worked a lot of that out.”

“He did,” said Rory, swallowing hard. “He really tried. We both did.”

“And it worked,” her friend reminded her. “You told me yourself, you had all these great conversations, you shared all your secrets, and apparently, he’s as good in the sack as you’d expect of a guy with that kind of smoulder going on.”

“Paris!”

Rory was sure she looked as scandalised as she felt then, but of course, she couldn’t deny that her friend was right. Not that she exactly had a frame of reference when it came to sex, but as far as she knew, Jess was pretty damn good at it. They were good together, he said that himself, and not just in bed. They worked, they fit, despite what anyone else might say or think, they just went together perfectly. Unfortunately, the one problem that the two people who had been all over the country in the last three months really had was location. They just couldn’t find one that suited them both.

“Long distance never really works, does it?” she said with a sigh, even as she considered the possibility. “I mean, look at you and Jamie.”

“Me and Jamie?” Paris echoed, shaking her head. “You can’t even compare me and Jamie with you and Jess. It wasn’t the distance that broke us up, it was... well, it was a lot of things, but distance wasn’t even five percent of the whole. Any more excuses you want to make for not trying to fix this mess you two made before it’s too late?”

The truth was, Rory could probably come up with a hundred reasons to call Jess and try to salvage some semblance of what they rebuilt from the wreckage of their painful break-up in San Francisco. She could also come up with another hundred not to. In fact, that was pretty much all she had been doing every night this week and the one before. No amount of pro-con lists seemed to give her a conclusion she was happy with. Sometimes, Rory wondered if happy was even possible for her at this point.

A knock on the door got both her attention and Paris’ too.

“Ten bucks says it’s Huntzberger.” Paris smirked. “His kind really don’t take no for answer.”

Rory heaved a sigh of pure annoyance as she levered herself up from the chair and stomped to the door. As she pulled it open, she was already in full flow.

“Logan, I already told you-”

She stopped very abruptly when the guy in the hall turned to look at her, unable to find her voice enough to say anything, not even to tell Paris that she very definitely owed her ten dollars.

* * *

“Huh,” said Jess, just a little bemused by the reaction he got when Rory opened the door and found him on the other side.

He was prepared for most outcomes. For her to be happy, for her to be mad. Everything from a kiss on the lips to a slap in the face were on the table. Plus, he was also aware from what Luke and Lorelai told him that Rory was rooming Paris again, so it could just as easy have been her that answered his knock. Thankfully, he did get Rory and she was clearly mad at somebody, just not him right now, apparently.

“Jess?”

She was staring at him as if she barely recognised him, or maybe she just thought he was a mirage or something. That couldn’t be a bad thing, Jess considered. After all, people saw mirages because they were hoping to find they were real. Maybe Rory really had missed him just as much as he missed her these past couple of weeks, though he had wondered if that would be physically possible.

“Please tell me I didn’t just travel three thousand miles for you to slam a door in my face,” he said warily, still not quite sure he knew what to make of the expression Rory was wearing, especially when her eyes seemed to fill with tears.

“Are you kidding?” she asked, suddenly in motion, flinging her arms around his neck and hugging him so hard, Jess could hardly breathe - honestly, he didn’t care at all.

He held her just as tight, eyes closing of their own accord as he breathed her in, marvelled at the feeling of her in his arms once again, and then she was kissing him and he was kissing her back, and never had there been a more perfect moment.

“Well, I guess it’s true what they say. Speak of the devil and he doth appear.”

The moment was soon shattered by the voice of one Paris Geller, though honestly, even as he and Rory broke apart and both turned to see her standing there, Jess couldn’t keep the smile from his lips.

“Always a pleasure, Paris,” he told her, completely dead-pan as usual.

“Don’t worry, Mariano, even I have enough tact to realise this is the point where I go finish my paper in the library,” she said, squeezing by the reunited couple with her book bag hoisted high on her shoulder. “Just figure this thing out, okay?” she told both Jess and Rory as she walked away. “I can’t deal with Mopey Gilmore anymore. She cries more than I do and my boyfriend actually died.”

In the next moment, she was gone, and despite the much more important conversation he and Rory needed to have, Jess couldn’t help but ask about her parting shot.

“Was she serious? About the dead boyfriend?”

“Sadly, yes.” Rory nodded. “You remember I told you he was older? He passed away while they were on vacation in England.”

Jess continued to frown. “Not when they were...?”

“Paris says no,” Rory confirmed.

It seemed to occur to both of them as their eyes met then that they were completely on the wrong topic given the circumstances, and completely in the wrong place too having stumbled out into the busy hallway during their mini-make out.

“Um, you should come inside,” she said, gesturing that way and moving back into the dorm.

Jess went with her, without a moment’s pause, taking a deep breath as he crossed the threshold and hoped he remembered every part of what he came here to say. He didn’t want to admit he had been practising a speech in his head for the past couple of days, but he kind of had, actually. There was a lot he felt he needed to say, which was a new thing for him in a lot of ways, but if there was anyone in the world that he would actually want to share with, it was always going to be Rory.

“So, I think my first question has to be, what are you doing here, Jess?” she asked as they faced each other from around six feet apart in the middle of the dorm room. “I mean, if this is just a flying visit, something of yours you think got into my luggage by mistake or-”

“It’s not,” Jess told her fast. “Geez, Rory, like I would do that to either of us,” he said, shaking his head. “I’m here because... because it’s where I need to be.”

This wasn’t how he meant to start, so vague and undefined. He needed Rory to know what he had been thinking, planning, hoping for days now, which meant he had to start at the beginning. Taking another of those deep breaths that seemed to be essential in situations like these, Jess tried starting over.

“Look, you had been gone for less than a day when I realised I was an idiot,” he said definitely. “I mean, seriously, Rory, what the hell was I doing when I told you we were better off breaking up? After everything we’d been through already?”

“I thought you made a lot of sense,” she said, awkwardly shrugging her shoulders. “Come on, Jess, if we had tried to go on, if you had come back here, or I’d agreed not to come back myself, we just... we would’ve blamed each other. It would’ve been so bad.”

“Yeah, because the past two weeks have been so completely painless,” he told her, sarcasm in full effect. “Please, tell me I’m not the only one here who spent the last sixteen days feeling like hell, because if I am, say it fast and I’ll just go before this gets any more embarrassing.”

He should’ve been hurt that she looked surprised, but then, even in his most giving moments, Jess knew he had never been quite this honest with her. He just wasn’t that guy, the one who explained just exactly what he was feeling, though he had emotions enough that ran so deep he felt like he was going crazy sometimes, especially where Rory was concerned.

“You’re not the only one,” she told him then, same shaky, quiet voice as before. “Jess, I have missed you so much. _So_ much,” she emphasised. “I wanted to call you. Honestly, I wanted to get on a plane or in a car or on a train, anything, I just wanted to be where you were, but it... it seemed so impossible, so unfixable,” she said, shrugging helplessly. “Well, isn’t it?”

“Maybe not,” Jess admitted, meeting her eyes. “Rory, you know that when I was here before... _all_ the times I was here before, it never worked out, not with me and you, not with me and Luke, certainly not with me and your mom. The whack-jobs in Stars Hollow, they pretty much hate me. Your friend Paris sure seemed less than thrilled to see me.”

“That’s just Paris.” Rory literally waved away his concern on that point at least. “She’s like that with everybody, you know this. In fact, of all my friends, she’s probably the one who most understands the attraction of you.”

It took Jess a moment to process that one and by the time he had, Rory had already moved on to other points, other people.

“And you know Luke loves you, plus my mom is so much more comfortable with you and me dating now, you know that too. As for the rest of Stars Hollow, well, who cares about them? I mean, I do, kind of, but not if it means me not being with you,” she rambled the way only a Gilmore girl could. “Jess, if you’re even thinking about coming back here, about staying here-”

“I’m not thinking about it,” he told her fast, continuing just as quickly before she got the wrong idea. “I mean, I already thought about it, a lot, and I figured that if you wanted me around... well, maybe not Stars Hollow, but Hartford or New Haven, just somewhere closer. You know, if you wanted.”

“If I wanted?” Rory echoed, a smile beginning to curve her lips. “Are you serious?”

“Couldn’t be more serious if I tried,” he promised her. “Rory, I love you, you know that,” he reminded her, reaching to take a hold of her hand. “You know it because I told you, but I’m not sure I made it all that clear because... well, I’ve never exactly followed through on proving it too well.”

“Jess, you have,” Rory insisted, but he went on anyway.

“I figure if what it takes to be with you is to be here, I can probably handle that now. I couldn’t before, but I can now,” he said, stepping in closer to her. “The day we left for that crazy road trip, I told you that you could depend on me. I want that to be true, Rory. I wanna be where you are, and if that has to be Connecticut right now, then that’s where I wanna be. Does that sound okay?”

The silence that followed made Jess more than a little nervous. He had hoped for some enthusiasm, something genuinely positive and excited, but Rory was so still and quiet, it was really starting to freak him out. A part of him wanted to do what he always did, just run, run and never look back, but this was Rory, and with her he didn’t want to do that, he didn’t need to. He just had to give her a minute to process.

“Yes,” she said eventually, though it was more of a squeak than a word at first. “Jess, that is so much more than okay,” she promised him, suddenly throwing herself into his arms and kissing him hard on the lips.

That was something Jess was certainly not going to argue with as he kissed her back with all the passion he possessed. He vaguely thought how it was probably a good thing Paris had gone out when she did, as he and Rory stumbled in the direction of what he assumed was the bedroom. When they landed on her bed in a tangle of limbs, he knew he was right.

“I can’t believe you’re actually here, that we’re actually doing this.”

“Doing this?” he said pointedly, gesturing between them.

“No, not this exactly,” Rory told him, rolling her eyes even as she blushed a pretty pink. “You’re here. We’re going to really make this work, Jess, I just know we can.”

“Yeah, I actually think maybe we can,” he agreed, hand sliding into her hair as he pulled her down with him and kissed her again.

It seemed so stupid that they had wasted even a couple of weeks of time when they could’ve been together, but even when Jess had started to realise what a fool he had been, there was no way to get to Rory any sooner. Later, he would have to explain that. How he was stuck in California watching Lilly until Jimmy and Sasha came home, and then there was the flight back to San Antonio, and a long drive cross-country that he probably made in much less time, with much less sleep, than he ever should have.

Rory would be mad about that, but she would forgive him, and in the end, Jess would learn to love life in Connecticut because he loved her. Somehow, some way, it was all going to work out. For once in Jess’ messed up life, he really did believe he was onto a good thing here, something he could and would deserve.

“Jess, I love you so much,” she told him as they lay down together, half their clothes already gone and the others set to follow.

“You know I love you too,” he told her, kissing her soundly, “and I missed you so much, you have no idea.”

Rory gasped as his lips found the point on her neck that never failed to undo her.

“Show me,” she urged him.

Jess didn’t hesitate. “As you wish.”


	22. Epilogue

_Six months later_

Rory knocked on the door, frowning a little when she heard only ‘It’s open!’ in response. Pushing her way inside, she was a little concerned to find that Jess didn’t even look up from what he was doing when she wandered into his living room.

“You do know that I could be anybody. Attacker, burglar, crazy axe murderer,” she told him, even as she came to perch on the arm of the couch, reading the computer screen over his shoulder.

“Lucky for me you’re just crazy coffee girl,” he said, finally looking up long enough to shoot her a smile. “Hi.”

“Hey,” she replied, leaning down a little so they could share a quick kiss. “Seriously, Jess, please don’t just invite people in here like that. I could be anybody. I know New Haven isn’t exactly the crime capital of the world but-”

“Hey, relax,” he urged her, putting the laptop onto the coffee table and pulling her into his lap. “I unlocked the door exactly fifteen minutes ago because I knew you were coming over. I do not just let random people in here,” he promised, kissing her one more time.

“Fine,” Rory conceded, with a huff like it was such a big deal to forgive him. “So, how’s it going, hardworking man?” she checked then, turning some to look at the computer screen again.

“Almost done with the re-draft,” he told her. “This last part is kind of kicking my butt though. You have time amongst all that Yale work to lend me your editing skills?”

“Seriously?” said Rory happily, eyes alight with joy. “Gimme,” she urged him.

Jess couldn’t help but laugh as he sorted through pages on the table and then handed a sheaf of paper over to Rory, just as she dropped out of his lap onto the next cushion over.

“Here, I printed it out,” he explained. “Not friendly to the environment, I know, but I remember how you like to play teacher and edit with your red marker.”

The way Rory bit her lip, trying not to smile and keeping her eyes on the paper, proved to Jess that her mind had wandered when he mentioned playing teacher, but he wasn’t about to bring that kind of thing up. He was on a serious deadline here, so there really was no time for the bedroom right now, however sorely he was tempted.

“I still think it’s amazing how fast you wrote this.” Rory shook her head in wonder, even as she grabbed her pen and settled into her seat, ready to edit. “Not that I ever doubted you were smart enough or anything, because I absolutely knew you were.”

“I know that you did.” Jess smiled to himself as he arranged the rest of his papers and double-checked he had made all the other amendments to his manuscript. “I don’t know, it just all came flooding out of me when I started. It was therapy when we were apart, and after, well, I guess I just couldn’t stop. You know, I seriously think that guy in Philly has a screw loose if he thinks this crap pile is worth publishing.”

“Hey!” Rory admonished, smacking him across the arm with the other end of her pen. “What did we say about dissing the book?”

“That I can do what I want because it’s _my_ book?” Jess countered, smirking hard. “Fine, I’m not supposed to say my work sucks, whatever, but I’m still not convinced it’s worth publishing.”

“Trust me, it is,” insisted Rory. “Do you really doubt the word of someone as well-read as me?” she challenged him.

“I guess not,” he was forced to admit.

They fell into companionable silence as they worked then until, maybe an hour later, Rory had her section checked and Jess was sure he had the rest of the manuscript just as good as he could get it.

“It’s amazing,” she insisted, putting her arms around him and kissing his cheek. “And you’re amazing.”

“If you say so,” Jess agreed just because it was easier, turning his head to capture her lips for a moment. “So, I’ll type up the rest of these edits later. You want dinner?”

“You’ve heard my mom’s one about the Pope and being Catholic, right?”

“Too many times,” he said, nodding his head as they both got up to go. “You know, Luke called me a while ago. I’m not saying he’s going to propose or anything, so don’t get too excited, but he was talking in a pretty serious way about him and Lorelai, you know, the future and everything. He even mentioned something about going along to Friday Night Dinner and talking to your grandfather.”

“Well, that’s a good thing, right?” said Rory, pulling on her jacket. “I mean, I know Mom’s very serious about him too. I don’t think she has ever been so serious about anyone as she is about Luke.”

“Then it’s good.” Jess nodded.

“I guess that’s just the way it is,” Rory continued as they headed for the door, hand in hand. “Mom and Luke, Paris and Doyle, you and me. When you find the right person, you just know.”

“I guess you do,” agreed Jess without hesitation, smiling at her as he opened the door and ushered her out. “So, you have any ideas on where we’re getting dinner?”

“I don’t mind” Rory shrugged. “You?”

“Let’s find something different this time,” he suggested. “You know, nothing with food in the title. Olive, chilli, soup. No gardens. No plantations. Something funkier. That sound good?”

Rory smiled as she waited for him to close the door behind them, then pushed herself into his personal space to steal one more kiss. “As you wish,” she told him easily, grinning all the wider as Jess’ arm slipped around her shoulders and they set off into the unknown one more time, always sure that wherever they ended up, they would be going there together.


End file.
